Hi von is lost,
Coming across your thread. you’ve literally described my life for the past few years.
everybody seems to have more friends, busier and have better relationships than me. i used to feel so lonely when everybody is out and I’m alone at home. I can feel myself finding it harder and harder to take the initiative because I just feel everybody is unavailable and i feel rejected when they say no.
I’ve struggled with relationships a lot in the past as well and I’m finally in a relationship that I’m happy with, but because of covid border closures, we haven’t seen each other for 7 months as he’s an expat working overseas. I’m full of resentment when i see everyone else with their partners (and they never struggled like i did in the past)
how I’ve coped with this feeling was to see this as a challenge. That if i get through this, ill be stronger and more independent than everyone else.
I can’t rely on others on my happiness. I think the best way to start is to learn to appreciate alone time. Find something that you’d enjoy doing alone. Eg go for a walk/hike, read a book or watch netflix (whether at home or at a cafe- it really helps) or even join some club. Ive find that joining some club , eg art, hikes, any sort of club really helped my anxiety and loneliness.
i also think some self exploring would help. I think we’re like this because we are not backing ourselves up which is why we are so negative. we tend to believe that there’s something in us that makes us less interesting + comparing ourselves to others. For me, i find listening to self help podcasts or read self help books, really helped a lot. It really helps you understand yourself as well.
i still struggle with it, especially right now due to covid restrictions. But im definitely coping with it much better than i thought i would.
i hope this helps in some way. x