Hoping that you are somewhat feeling a little better today. It's so hard when you grow up with influences like this around you and without knowing it you develop this perfectionist mindset, nothing is good enough, the negative self talk starts and you are constantly putting yourself down and the fear of failing grows worse and worse. And sadly, the only way to stop this, is to work on it - observe these thoughts, have conversations about them and shut it out (which can be so hard at times I know).
High school can seem so black and white sometimes - like there is only one way to be the best, one avenue to be successful - but to be honest that's not true at all... The only important thing is that you are passionate about something - and it seems you are about science - if you are passionate you will always find a way - and it will be YOUR way. You can't compare yourself to people around you - things that work for other people don't have to work for you!
This might be a powerful lesson for you right now in this moment, and you might be able to learn something from it that other people haven't experienced yet. At the end of the day you need to prioritise yourself, love yourself and take care of your health. I'm sure your parents would want that too. Be kind to yourself. Just because you are not the 'top' graduate, does not mean you don't deserve to be here, or that you don't deserve success and happiness.
Sometimes it helps to have outside perspective, or think about what advice you would give to a friend in this position - because it will show you that you are in fact being harsh on yourself. There is so much more to life than the top graduate position or grade - so much to experience, don't let yourself be dragged down that these things just pass you by.
I totally believe in you! You are kind, passionate, caring and hard-working. These bad moments are temporary and things will always get better. Here anytime xx