Dear All~

I'm pleased to back in your company again ,replete with Scottish fare of course (no not haggis EM). And, DB, I think it is Mrs Walrus who is the one taking good care of me -I'm blessed.

I hope you are managing OK Grandy, (have not looked at 👀 people's threads as yet)

And dear Moon - hows things?

Croix (who actually managed an emoji:)

Hi there Mr Croixy I was so pleased to see you back.

😀 SO cute I was even happier to see your emoji.

For that I'll leave you with but one lol.

Hope you're well Croixy. You know we care very much. If you need to chat anytime about things

Catch ya around the loop ... smiling and waving...yawn...laughing now

Oh I SAW YOUR NAME Croix and I was SO HAPPY you're back!

Hi Mrs Walrus!

How was your break?

How was the haggis again? lol.

We missed you.

I'm sad to say that Mara left. 😔 I miss her so much.

Did you see any good films?

I've been getting into a lot of ABC iView shows. Maybe not quite as French as you like lol.... c'est la vie right?

IDK if you would like this but gosh it's funny, a bit serious too... I binge watched "No Offense" on ABC.

I also watched EVERY show on MH there too.

I LOVE that this app is free.

So happy you're back Croix.

EM

Hello Dear Mr Croix..

So good to see your Walrus swimming around the forums again...Welcome back...

I hope you had some great fishing days, and managed to sit on a rock with your feet up soaking in the sun while you idly watch you fishing line 🎣 bopping up and down gently with the ebb flow of the lake...

A welcome back hug...if that’s okay..

Grandy..

Thanks Croix for asking after me. Not real good I'm afraid. I seem to be handling this "grief" thing not as competently as others. He died in May and here we are in September. Perhaps I started feeling sad late, not straight away...or perhaps I am just weak. I mean....May....and I am just beginning to cry all the time....Now!

why wasn't I like that from Day One.? What I am afraid of is this "sadness" and melancholy, turning into full blown "depression" I have never been what is known as "clinically depressed" although of course am familiar with how ghastly it is and its consequences. My main problem as you know has been anxiety, fear, panic attacks...all that sort of thing. I don't want his death to cause me to become severely clinically "depressed". How can I stop it?

I rang a phone line last night and the guy there was great, suggesting I ask that question to my counsellor next week. I made an appointment and could only get in next week...I actually asked if she had a cancellation, like "today" I need to talk to someone seemingly, ALL the time.

something "they" never tell you, or say on the websites about "grief and death" is that not only do you lose another person....I for one at least...feel very strongly that I have also lost MYSELF.

I've lost 2 people, not one.

I've lost the person I was when he was alive. Where has she gone? I want her back! I liked her and she's left me too.....(no I am not turning into a dual personality don't worry).... I don't know who I am any more. Has anyone else felt like this when a partner died? I seem to be grieving for my own self who has disappeared. How do I get her back? love you...Moon S x

Dear Moon (excuse me I'll answer everyone else later)~

I guess the thing is this. There are many people in the world who are actually built up out of their relationship with another. I'm one of them. My world, the things I do each day, my thoughts, moods and all the rest happen becuse I"m joined to another -I am part of them and they are part of me.

If that person passes away like my 1st wife, part of what was the real me died too. I was no longer the same person, I no longer felt the happiness I'd felt before. Half the things I used to do no longer were necessary or had meaning. I felt I did not know myself, this diminished stranger in my body. As stranger who often broke down.

When she first died I was busy, sorting out all the things needed to be done. Grief really hit somewhat later, I suppose I was sort of going though the motions of waht I'd done before and htat delayed things a bit.

I'm whole again now, although that grief is still a thing inside, the subsequent feelings of my life since then are wrapped around it and allow me to see it in a different way, with fondness, enjoying happy moments as well as having sadness.

There is no time-table, no set number of stages of grief, no order thins happen in or how you feel. It is the hardest part of life and you do not 'handle it'. You struggle and survive the best you can

The real core of Moon is still there, masked by grief ,fear, probably anger and feeling lost.

You will adapt and gradually a New Moon (sorry about that, even in a most serious matter my humor takes control) who will be very similar to the old one, not quite the same, but equally attractive and able to have fun.

Finally, grief is a natural process and is not that likely to turn into clinical depression. Grief is a response to something horrible - you endure.

Hang in there Moon, it will be fine

Croix

Dear DB,EM and Grandy~

It's good to see your welcomes, makes me feel more at home.

DB ~ how has your back been? If I remember it was not too good when I left. I had a quick read of your last few posts, no mention of it, but I was struck by how supportive and positive your posts are, you have a kind soul

EM~ "thank you so much, you have been a shining light for me. I shall miss you." I simply cant think of a better way to say goodby, not that many say anything and just disappear, Mara did it perfectly, knowing you helped, you gave her what she needed, and you gained yourself"

In time just abut everyone leaves the Forum, peacefully having benfited and been able to tackle fresh challenges.

Grandy~ intelligent walruses obtain their seafood from the Woolies chilled display cases, I'd not find watching a float very engrossing, rather go to the movies:) We saw "The Secret, Dare to Dream". A nice gentle feel-good film.

As for giving a walrus a hug, I beleive it is the sort of thing you only try once, walruses are not known to be that cuddly and fluffy I'm afraid - plus the tusks get in the way.:( You walk off after smelling strongly of fish! Appreciate the thought though

Croix

Hi Mr Croixy man and all your friends & readers ☺

Very nice things you said thank you very much.

Good of you to ask. Thank goodness my cursing backs not in the acute stages atm. Seriously as you'd know with backs extremely painful.

Atm it's holding just. First thing in the morning I need to not bend at all even slightly. It still clicks. Sometimes hurting.

Definate changes though disturbingly specialist said in a telehealth last yrs mri showed nothing significant from their end. So am I sposed to go through literally feeling like the mongrels breaking not that I want an op either. I'll talk telehealth later after mri next wk. There's damage & over the yrs including at its worst this time too horrendous pain.

How bout yours and your health?

Have you been up to walking again I know for a while you had to stop.

Gorgeous day here, usually is. Absolutely love this place.

Thanks Croixy nice knowing you're keeping an 👁out ☺

Please thank Mrs Walrus sshhhh she'll go crook on me too for looking after our favourite walrus.

🐧

Hiho Croix

GREAT to hear from you!

Mara yes.

So you liked that film?
I haven't heard of it lol.

Are you feeling better for the break?

How's Mrs Walrus?

What else can I ask?

Lol.

So happy to have you back.
EM

Dear DB

Actually she will go crook at you for calling her Mrs Walrus, for some reason she does not seem to like that name. saying Mrs C does not get me into trouble:)

I'm please our back is tolerable, though not bending over in the morning is a right pain, socks -hmm. I tend to wear push on slippers for a bit, then dress in my normal dashing style later.

Not much in the way of walks I'm afraid, and that does NOT help, walks are my best therapy.

How can you can an MRI over teleheath? Mine takes a machine the size of a room!

Croix

Dear EM

I'm pleased to be back and do feel better for a fortnight's break. I tend to divide up the year and have 3 or four similar breaks. It helps to refresh -and lets me catch up on my reading (JK Rowling's detective series ATM). Came as a surprise to me too, thought she had only done Harry Potter.

Yes I'm sorry Mara has gone too, but she is an intelligent person and capable of working out what works best for her ATM. We only have a very small window into other's lives here.

The film was about a widow who was about to marry for security -and along came her true match. Sentimental and yes I did enjoy it.

Now, you must mean Mrs C, mentioning Mrs Walrus gets me into trouble. Mrs C does not believe it fits her svelte and glamorous image. Yes she is just fine (and enjoyed the movie and Scottish Restaurant too)

In answer to what else you can ask, the answer is 42

Croix

Lol darn it, I thought the answer was 41!

Gosh that was a long time ago lol.

MRS C got it. Just don't tell her I got it wrong. But ever so happy she enjoyed Mickey Ds and the film.

IDK even know if the movies are open here atm.... probably won't find out either lol.

I'm glad you enjoyed the break and you're well rested to lend a shoulder and an eye (because you're reading not listening lol) AND ofcourse your wisdom.

I had NO IDEA JK Rowling wrote other stuff.... how are you finding it?

I'm a crime thriller addict lol. Better in movies than living it IRL I declare. I LOVE all the Shetland series and am watching Vera atm. I thought Brooklyn 99 was hilarious. Ofcourse the British do a great job with just about anything TV / cinema related IMO.

Had another big day in the garden and I'm finally beginning to see more ground space (and not lantana and or big piles of tree loppings)... it's pretty exciting now.

Bestest wishes to you Mr Walrus and to Mrs C lol

EM

Dear EM~

I'm afraid it was 42, as pronounced by the planetary computer"Deep Thought" all the way back in '77 I think.

I'm afraid some of those shows you are watching are a bit realistic for me, I prefer things that do not show humanities depths. Mind you Mrs C likes them.

JK wrote under the name Robert Galbraith., I've must finished "Cuckoos Calling", which is a sort of Sam Spade meets Girl Friday detective novel.

I'm glad you had a successful day in the garden and can see ground space (and not lantana and or big piles of tree loppings), Its marvelous even what a more modest bulldozer can accomplish

Moon - hows trix?

Croix

 

Hi Croix

Great idea.... a mini backhoe may be what's needed to knock some dying trees down when they are totally dead. I just have to take a fence down to get the thing in here lol.

42 okay I believe you. Millions may not but I will to save the arguments lol.

So do you recommend Robert Galbraith's books?

EM

Dear EM

>42 okay I believe you. Millions may not but I will to save the arguments lol.
Ask the white mice
>So do you recommend Robert Galbraith's books?
Um, dunno, will read the second one and then decide, you may find them trifle bland after Shetland.

There are English versions of the "Maigret" TV series by Michael Gambon , excellent, and Rowan Atkinson, not as good. Their an attraction is people, not crime. A bit like the American Police series "Naked City" from the late 50's

Croix

CROIX.....

"How's trix?"...you asked. Well you'll probably be glad to hear we've tried livestreaming some of our small games....as number of spectators allowed is extremely low and has been all year...and those that are allowed have to be in "bubbles" (who coined that phrase anyway?

I was a spectator at one of them and admit it was such a relief just to be back at my beloved green and natural habitat...with some of my tribe, albeit only a small number.......livestreaming is better than nothing at all.....maybe one day we can get our lifeblood (crowds) back again.

Unfortunately we are not AFL footballers or holding a protest in the street so we are very restricted.....the harsh stance our Qld premier is taking on border controls has gotten completely out of hand...and humanity. She says "I don't make the decisions".....Pardon!

sorry to veer off your pleasant topics Croix...as you know this whole year has been unexpectedly horrible for me and learning about grief as it pertains to me has been a harsh lesson I don't feel I deserved....I have a counsellor appointment next week and will ask her that question that worries me...."How can I prevent this sadness, grief and tears from turning into full-blown clinical depression".?

I have found stuff on websites that describe what I am going through to a "T"....my God, someone understands! That could be me they are talking about! I'm not going crazy....I'm perfectly "normal and healthy"....who knew?

Love ya Croix.....(P.S. "livestreaming"...hope it doesn't hurt )

Dear Moon~

I'm glad you are seeing someone soon, the business of depression has be weighting heavily on your mind, I do suspect you are going to be reassured your feelings are 'normal' (if one can apply that word to such a large and diverse body of people). I've been trying to convince you, but a more authoritative figure than a walrus is always better:)

I had suspected with others on the green as devoted as yourself then streaming in a modest way would start, the difficulty being getting the bowlers close enough, while the audience is no problem. Livestreaming will be a challenge, but more of a technical one with real time cameras's (and their operators), similar for audio, plus a mixer.

Don't worry, this thread is not the one for pleasant topics, that's the other one. Here you say what you like.

It is good to hear from you

Croix

 

Dear Croix...just a quick note to say Yes I did it....would prefer the real thing but being with my tribe was the most important for my well being I found. I don't think I have disappeared altogether, (along with my person who died and seemed to "take me with him".)......I admired the technical side at which our people excelled and the effort put in to give us "something to do".

The restrictions which had to be adhered to re the small number of the public were a pain !..Not free to do and go where we wanted, no socialising etc...was it really worth it? I have my doubts actually....not really enjoyable from my point of view....but "better than nothing".

I realise I sound like a Negative Nellie here...but these are my honest opinions after taking part. Even if you listened very very carefully and may detect a tiny whispering roar of the greasepaint...nothing will ever replace the smell of the crowd! love ya...Moon S

Dear Moon~

I'm glad you took part and were was at least part of your old crowd, even that mist have been a whiff of normality.

It is true the screaming crowds that stood and roared when your ball curved round and kissed the puck were missing, though as your crowd's famour grows, so will the responses -though they may come by different mediums.

While I'm sure people's reactions play a very big part I'm also sure that technique, adaptability and experience play their role too, giving accomplishment. If you win then I'm sure it will be All's well that ends Well, and if not then for that time only Loves Labour Lost.

Actually I'm not sure if the Big Bill bowled, I know Sir Walter Raleigh did.

Croix

Hello Stranger......just to let you know, we are taking the next one outdoors and yes I will be glowing there, hopefully in the moonlight..... Bill will be delighted as it was where he intended this one to go....(ooh I am cryptic these days aren't I?)....luv Moon S

Eqr Moon

I'd been turning over in my mind if I should leave you a post here, it is difficult to get a balance between caring and being intrusive when things might be better not brought to mind.

I am sure playing bowls in the moonlight will allow you to shine. Apart from the actual tournament the preparations, familiar territory, will be occupying and also no doubt require adaptation to its new environment.

A 'Dream' come true

Croix

MMmm.....well....there ya go....

Croix ,

just a quick wave to say well done on 9000 posts.
waves to moon and moonlight meanderings.

Hi Croix,

Wow, 9000 posts is ah-mazing. They are usually quite long as well.

How are you going these days Croix. I remember you enjoying your walks to then being limited with them.

You have other interests as well which I'm sure your immersed in.

Mrs C must still be doing a great job. I love a good old fashioned love story. Very rare these days I believe. I'm happy that you have each other.

👣💗

Dear All~

Dear Moon, it really taxes my brain at times to keep on talking about bowling, so what I'll do instead is raid a glass of unspecified non-alcoholic beverage to you and say "Bottoms Up"

Dear Quirky. Thank you for noticing and your well wishes. It does not seem like that much, but then again it is real people in real conversations I'm having and after a while I almost forget I'm using text.

I hope you are managing in your new circumstances.

Dear MM

It has been so nice to hear of your victory, after so many years of frustration and institutional blindness it realy is wonderful.

Not much walking I'm afraid, Mrs C is home evenings and it is too cold for me to go out, I'm still more than buy though in other MH areas, plus movies, books and more.

I'm not sure we think of it as taking part n an old-fashioned love story, we both still feel the same as when we met, that's all.

Croix

Oh...... in ya dreams Walrus...in ya dreams!

Too cold for you to go out...but you're a walrus..! Lol.

Dear Moon~

Just to clarify I was not referring to anatomy, more of an appellation

-C

Dear MM~

Some walruses can have delicate constitutions, I even have an electrically heated iceberg.

Mrs C is the tough one of the family and finds ice-strewn seas merely bracing.

-C

Relax...I always understand a walrus...unlike old Bill who speaks in riddles...