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Forums / Depression / feeling overwhelmed

Topic: feeling overwhelmed

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Jaymore
    Jaymore  avatar
    6 posts
    3 October 2021

    There's a lot that's always on my mind: feeling like I'm not good enough to be loved; feeling like no one cares about me; feelings of loneliness when I'm on my own and stress from work.

    My negative self-worth stems from my Mum's mistreatment of me after her and Dad's divorce when I was 9. Long story short, I felt neglected, unsafe and hated. Eventually, what followed that is thinking that everyone hated me. I became depressed at a young age. I had a new school, a new living situation and both my parents found themselves in new relationships. It was too much for me. I felt so lost, I didn't want to be alive anymore.

    While my situation gradually became easier, the negative self-worth remains to this day. It's ruined some of my closest friendships. I've learnt to keep the hatred of myself on the inside and not express it out loud to ensure I don't scare anyone off. Unfortunately, with everything building up inside, it sometimes gets to a point where everything is released and I don't want that happening because it affects the people around me.

    I work full-time in the hospitality industry as a manager so I carry everything on my shoulders which is sometimes extremely overwhelming. On our busy days the smallest things can make me snap and I don't like the way I treat people. I try to remind myself to reign it in and to control my emotions, but in the heat of the moment I forget to. Multiple times I've just had a complete breakdown at work when everything becomes too much.

    Of course I do have good days and I believe that I'm perfectly fine and don't need help - but deep down I know that isn't true. I know millions of people around the world would definitely feel the same way as I do, which I guess is sort of comforting. I have many people in my life I know I can go to for help. But sometimes, I feel like it would be wrong to bother them, or that they don't care about me so I don't reach out. That's when the loneliness comes back.

    My girlfriend is right now my biggest supporter, not only do I want to get better for myself, but also for her too. I see how happy she is when she knows I'm happy. I love her and despite everything I've said above, I do believe I'm the happiest I have ever been and a lot of that is down to my relationship with her. I want to get married and have kids with her one day. So all of that is definitely a source of motivation to get help.

    Thank you for listening. Even the smallest piece of advice would be really appreciated!

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6126 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Jaymore
    Hi Jaymore,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

    We are sorry to hear that these thoughts have always been on your mind. We just want to remind you that all life is important, including yours. We understand these must be such hard feelings to sit with, so please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

    If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website:  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

    We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.
  3. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1537 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Jaymore

    Hi Jaymore,

    Im sorry you are feeling this way and hearing of your mis treatment when you were younger that must have felt difficult for you.

    Im sorry that you have negative self worth, do you think you feel that way due to your up brining?

    No matter how you grew up thinking what you thought you can learn to challenge these thoughts and beliefs when you are ready to.

    I understand you don’t like the way you treat people, I went through a self growth stage in my life and I decided that I needed to change the way I saw the world and other people in my life.

    You are important and you deserve the help you need for your self.

    A psychologist can help you with a lot of things.

    You could make an appointment with your gp and do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

    I think it’s great that you have such a supportive girlfriend.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Sophia16
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Sophia16 avatar
    169 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Jaymore

    Hey Jaymore,

    Firstly, I am so glad that you know where your negative self-worth came from. I am very sorry about what you have been through. It looks like you are currently feeling sad and anxious.

    As you said, there are a lot of people who feel the same way as you. However, you can try and cope with it even more by doing what Petal22 said; seeing a professional can really help you find strategies to cope and where you don't have to hold all your negative thoughts.

    I am very glad that your girlfriend is a source of motivation. Talking to her about how you feel will give u a sense of comfort. I really hope that you get married!

    Anyhow, I have a few tips that you can use in the meantime:

    - Challenge your negative thoughts. Look for evidence that contradicts the thoughts.

    - Write down all the positive things about yourself and read them whenever you are feeling down

    - Improve your physical wellbeing. Eating healthy

    - Be kind to yourself

    Please stay safe and I am here to chat if you need me.

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