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Forums / Depression / How do I want to get better

Topic: How do I want to get better

  1. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    4 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    I understand Baileybasil... I wonder if you could start real small... You mentioned hygiene and washing your clothes and eating properly. All these things can be incredibly difficult when one has depression. Could you pick one of these things to start doing, maybe the daily things like brushing teeth or showering?

    As for being afraid to take steps e.g. a GP Sleepy has a good suggestion of finding the right doctor. Perhaps a female doctor could be more comforting as they're perceived as (and often are) more empathic and easy to open up to? Just a thought

  2. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    5 July 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I don’t like myself enough to even do the smallest things I think I need someone to help me hands on because it’s too hard
  3. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
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    5917 posts
    5 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Hey Baileybasil,

    Thank you so much for opening up and keeping the community updated on how you've been feeling. We are so glad to see the wonderful support and advice from our caring members here, and we hope that you continue to find some comfort in knowing you're not alone in this. We're so sorry to hear how low you've been feeling, and that you've been really struggling to do even small things for yourself. It's not an easy thing to be able to open up to others around you including a GP as you mentioned, but we want to reassure you that you are already showing so much strength in being able to post here, which is such an important step.

    We hope that you know that extra support is always available whenever you feel ready to talk these feelings through. Perhaps a helpful next step could be to reach out to one of the friendly counsellors at Kids Help Line? They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are availabvle 24/7 on 1800 55 1800, or also through webchat if you'd feel more comfortable talking online: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or also through Webchat (1pm-12am AEST) on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

    We hope that you continue to find the courage to keep reaching out, as you deserve support through this difficult time. We're all here for you Baileybasil, and please feel free to keep updating us here whenever you feel ready to.
     
  4. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    5 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hey there

    Sorry you’re struggling so much. I read that journaling is something that you do have a go at. I don’t know how to do it “properly” either, but there’s some things that might help. Being grateful can help us feel less pessimistic. You could write a couple of things each day (even just start with one) that you’re grateful for. Today I’m grateful for my blanket because it’s freezing but I’m warm in bed.

    Another is to write about our thoughts. What is the thought that’s bothering me? Is there truth to it? What could be an alternative way of looking at things?

    Just some ideas that might help if you’re into writing.

    Kind thoughts, Katy

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Sleepy21
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    5 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    hey Baileybasil,

    i'm sorry u feel in pain.
    Journalling is a great suggestion. I also find myself personally when i have absolutely no energy for anything, i set very very small tasks for the day - and not related to any accomplishment , but to do with self care

    eg have a hot drink, go for a walk. Then u can build on it. I was wandering if there's anything that you like doing...

    i like and get pleasure from absolutely nothing except for having a hot drink every day. It's all i have. But it's enough.

  6. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    6 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    We feel your pain baileybasil. Sleepy seems to feel some of the same thing, and perhaps something good I notice in sleepy is the acknowledgement of the self as a worthwhile thing. I wonder if this is something you could start with? You see if you don’t like yourself than it’s unlikely you’re going to want to do anything and if you don’t like to do anything then life stays the same.. I understand that it’s hard to do anything when you literally don’t like yourself. Maybe Katy’s suggestion of journaling is something good. I know you said you have problems with that, but perhaps writing is a way to think about yourself in a way that’s less.... of a put down. Because when you write it can allow you to think more clearly- you can judge what you’re thinking easier when it’s in words compared to just a barrage of negative thoughts racing through your head...
  7. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    13 July 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    Thanks for trying but I’ve already seen these journaling tactics. I am too lazy to even write in a book. I am just done trying now nothing is helping everything I heard in this thread I didn’t try
  8. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    13 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Hey BaileyBasil,

    We're sorry to hear how distressed you feel at the moment and as though nothing is helping. We would really encourage you to get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/  It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

    Thanks again for reaching out tonight. 
     
  9. Sleepy21
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    13 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    hey bailey basil, i feel a lot the same and don't have much energy for anything, although sometimes i can find only one tiny thing. if you cant do that, that's okay to. maybe writing on the forum is way more than enough for one day, the goals can be very small, anything that keeps you chugging. well done for getting to this point, i know you have resilience and strength beyond to get here.

    Hope u are feeling okay given all you are going through

  10. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    14 July 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    I’m at the end of my rope
  11. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    14 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Dear Baileybasil,

    We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear this is how you are feeling. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

    Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we're worried about you. 
    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
    Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it
  12. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hi again Baileybasil,

    I’m so sorry that everything in life is so difficult for you at the moment....

    It’s okay that you didn’t try even one thing that people have been suggesting in this thread. Sometimes for some people finding the motivation - or escaping the anxiety - seems impossible... I still think that you’re worthwhile though, and that you could make your life better.

    What do you think of yourself?

  13. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Sophie_M
    There isn’t any help
  14. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I hate myself
  15. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    18 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Hey Baileybasil,

    Thanks for reaching out tonight and being so open and honest about how you're feeling with the community. We're so sorry to hear that you're feeling a negative sense of self-worth, but please know that we think you are such a strong and proactive person in reaching out here for support. We understand how difficult this can be when you're feeling so low, and please know that support is always here for you, from both our caring members of the forums, and additonal services that you can reach out to 24/7. We are also currently reaching out to you privately with some extra support tonight.

    We think it would really help to get in touch with our kind friends at Kids Helpline, who are available to you 24/7 whenever you're wanting to talk things through. You can reach out via phone (1800 55 1800) or also through their webchat here: www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling/ We would also really encourage you to get in touch with our friennds at Lifeline. Lifeline understand what it’s like to feel this way, and are here to listen and help you. They available anytime on 13 11 14 or you can visit their website for online chat.

    We hope that you keep in touch with our communtiy and continue to update us, so that our wonderful members can continue to offer their thoughtful and helpful words of advice and support.
  16. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    22 July 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hi Baileybasil,

    I can only imagine how you have been feeling...

    Why do you hate yourself?

  17. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    Because I’m a loser who’s never achieved anything and who can’t even have a conversation with a stranger without freaking out about it. I don’t want to get better I want to be gone
  18. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Hey Bailey, 

    Thanks for posting this afternoon. We're sorry to hear you feel like a loser who's never achieved anything. What has caused you to feel this way? 

    Our support service is checking in with you via private reply to offer some extra support.  If you need to chat at any time, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. 

    Thank you again for reaching out.
  19. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    9067 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hello Baileybasil...

    I can resonate how it’s hard to talk to strangers..I seem to well kind of freak out as well...I avoid strangers as much as I can, don’t talk to them if I can help it...it really is hard and I’m sorry your going through this....My counsellor told me once that yes they are strangers the first even 2nd time you meet them...but eventually they become acquaintances, with the possibility of friendship developing....When I started my volunteer job...the other 3 ladies were strangers, now after being their for 5 years they have become friends...not close friends..but people I’m now comfortable talking with....

    I don’t know your age..I am 65 years old and haven’t achieved very much in life, except for how to care for myself...I have no experience in anything, other then working in the same factory for many years....

    You have achieved a lot by reaching out here for help..That is a really good first step, which shows me that deep down in your soul...you do want to be helped...but your brain and thoughts are fighting with your soul....and believe me it’s hard to win a fight with yourself....

    Do you have a pet or something that you like doing..playing internet games or some type of hobby...How about music?

    Its okay if you don’t want to answer my questions..there is no pressure at all to do so....It’s just I feel your frustration in life and only want to try to support and help you...

    Talk here Baileybasil...maybe we are strangers and not face to face talking.... I do believe that here does help, here is a great start to get support to start talking little baby steps forward....

    My kindest thoughts dear Baileybasil..

    Grandy..

  20. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Ggrand
    I don’t like doing anything anymore. I’m afraid of life and I have to move and get a job in a month when I can’t even force myself to get out of bed. There is nothing I look forward to when I wake up, all I feel is disappointment
  21. Sleepy21
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    4156 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    hey Bailey Basil, Hi to all reading

    having social anxiety (not saying you have this, just talking about the fear of talkng to strangers in general) doesn't make you a loser at all!!!

    I get though that it can feel that way. Being able to connect to ppl easily is something I feel jealous of and don't feel I can do well.

    I am the opposite in some ways, I can talk to strangers easily, but can't always develop close friendships.

    I can make banter with anyone but i don't know how to turn it into friendship.

    It makes me upset.

    I wish you didnt feel so hard about things, and wandered if for even one moment u could sit in acceptance that things are this way, and be okay?

    Have you ever heard of acceptance commitment therapy? Im tryign it out now to help with similar feelings. I just waned to make space for u that whatever u feel is okay, and the struggles you feel are real, and that we all care and want to listen regardless.

    Sendng support and care.

  22. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    15 August 2021 in reply to Sleepy21
    I’m not strong enough to accept it all.
  23. jsm1974
    jsm1974 avatar
    58 posts
    27 August 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hi Baileybasil

    Hope you're doing well, or at least not worse. I have felt (and at the moment, feel) similar to what you have described. I find it difficult to see the point in doing much of anything and I can't even conceive of a future that would be worth fighting for.

    What is important to understand though is that this is not you, it is depression. I know what a leap of faith it can be to conjure up the will to even start the process of getting help, but see if you can get yourself to just do 1 step in the process. I think you said you have a mental health care plan, so try to commit yourself to just make the appointment. Once that day arrives, just physically go to the place. You don't even need to commit to saying anything. Even though I find even these baby steps difficult to do, but over time I've also practiced telling myself "I've got nothing to lose just by doing this thing (making the call, going to the place, etc.). Even if it sucks, I have nothing better to do". Once I'm there, the thought becomes "meh, I'm already here and can't be bothered to turn around again, so I might as well just do the session".

    My experience with therapists and psychiatrists so far has also been disappointing as well, which I know makes the motivation to try again even harder to find. But what have you got to lose by trying? Nothing. What do you have to gain? Everything. I have to believe that ultimately it will be worth it, even if emotionally I don't really care. It's clear by the fact that you've posted on here that you want to want to care (if that makes sense), even if you don't care now, so there is still fight left in you.

    There are a number of psychologists who do online or telecounseling, so you don't even have to leave your house.

    Hope it at least helps to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.

  24. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    2 September 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Baileybasil our mental health isn’t entirely in our head / it’s in the things we do as well... it would be great if you could find one small self care thing to start doing and try to do that as regularly as possible
    1 person found this helpful
  25. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    That’s not enough for me, little things don’t help but I have no energy to try anything bigger. I’m talking about writing things I’m grateful for in a journal etc, that just seems pointless. I’ve lost all my enthusiasm for my old hobbies
  26. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    5 October 2021 in reply to Baileybasil

    Hi Baileybasil

    Can you think what you would like your life to look like?
    What would you like to be different than it is now?
    What would it take for things to be different?
    Even one thing?

    Katy :)

  27. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    275 posts
    6 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    What if you just tried to add up the little things- sometimes it seems like nothing would help but we really need to add together little things that make us a bit better each day.

    humans need to experience pleasure and mastery every day. That’s why I think you could really benefit from trying to do some thing that makes you feel like you’ve achieved something, no matter how small... I understand your pain somewhat but I think that you can’t hope your way out of things: it has to be combined with taking some kind of action... doesn’t have to be grand

  28. Baileybasil
    Baileybasil avatar
    66 posts
    7 October 2021 in reply to Here2Talk
    I can’t do it it’s not worth it I’m too much of a loser to get anywhere
  29. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5917 posts
    7 October 2021 in reply to Baileybasil
    Hi Baileybasil,

    We are sorry to hear that you are still feeling this way. It takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. The community will be here to listen and chat with you. We encourage you to also reach out to Kids helpline as we think this would be helpful for you. You can reach out via phone (1800 55 1800) or also through their webchat here: www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling/

    You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.

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