No problem, I'm here for a chat if you need it. Don't apologise for being scattered, you're expressing yourself perfectly fine.
You mentioned that you struggle to articulate your thoughts and emotions verbally, it really isn't an easy thing to do. I can see in your writing that you articulate yourself very well. I think when it comes to situations like these, you can never really pin point one cause or completely understand your emotions.. Especially when talking through your thoughts and self reflecting isn't something you normally do, and that's completely okay. I think it's a skill to some degree, and I think you're doing a great job.
I can see a part of you doesn't want to accept things as they are and walk away, and that's completely understandable. How would it feel to talk through your thoughts on here, and maybe work on a letter to your wife? You don't have to necessarily give it to her if you don't want to. But perhaps if you feel like you can logically look through your thoughts and how you're feeling, maybe the possible discussion in future might be a bit easier. Journalling for yourself can be very helpful in ordering your thoughts together. I think your thoughts automatically come out when you do it, and you read it back and go "ah, I see." But I understand it isn't for everyone.
You mentioned that you've said things in the heat of the moment and the both of your argue occasionally.. And you're right, no one is perfect in relationships, and communication can be a very difficult thing, maybe something that causes the most problems. During arguments, it's very hard to think clearly and logically during conflict.. Your mind can go blank and you can say some things you don't mean.
I'm curious.. Do you feel like your inability to articulate yourself is mostly due to internal things for you, or could it be something to do with how your wife might react?