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Forums / Grief and loss / I lost my companion

Topic: I lost my companion

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Scotty2013
    Scotty2013 avatar
    117 posts
    24 February 2016
    Well this is tough, last month i lost my companion of 4yrs  Parrot, who got me through so many dark times. I've never fallen to bits so much, i thought i was going to die from distress. I'm still not right, its a tiny bit better, but now it's turned into who's next?, what other bad things will happen?, i feel so down daily, some nights i cry myself to sleep. I was with him in the end, watched his poor little body give up, i think he had a lung infection, noticed his voice was a bit funny night before.  I woke up to him sitting down panting, the trauma i somehow relive it daily, mentally i see it all the time his last breath?, how do i get that out of my head?. It's unfair the bond i had with him was so strong, like he knew me, I knew him. The positive thing that came from all this, his companion had babies and now i 3 nice baby parrots that look like him, but they are not him!!!, I'm trying to bond but it's difficult.. I have the fear of things being taken away from me in life, and this kind of re-affirms it, the pain is so unbearable emotionally. Anyhow perhaps time is the healer idk, i just know it's flung me into this awful depression of sorts..I'm prob rambling on thanks...TC :D.
  2. Fairywings
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Fairywings  avatar
    652 posts
    24 February 2016 in reply to Scotty2013
    Hey there scott im really sorry about your loss. Lossing someone you love is never easy but you are right as time passes the unbearable begins to become bearable. Im very happy that you have joined us and by no means r un rambling on. Its ok and its healthy to get things off your chest. Ur in the right place to do this. Your little buddy has gone to a better place now where he is no longer suffering. I have no doubt his presence will always be with you and as a father he has his own little family to watch over. Makes me happy to know he and his partner made 3 beautiful little babies very gorgeous indeed. I myself loves all animals they r beautiful they r part of the family. Life just isn't fair things do get taken away from us all the time and it is this time where by we get out strength and courage to keep pushing on life.  Enjoy these little babies they will bring much joy to ur life i know they are not him but its very comforting to know they are his beautiful babies. I hope you have found some comfort in my words u will be ok. Xx 😊
  3. Neil_1
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Neil_1 avatar
    4232 posts
    25 February 2016

    Hi Scotty

     

    I was going to say welcome back, but those really aren’t the words to say under these circumstance … or really anyone who comes back to B.Blue is because of major issues and … ok, you said you were rambling, well, I’m doing the same.    But hopefully you get the gist of what I was making a verbal clutter of there.

     

    Mate, I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of Parrot (interesting name by the way).  I read what you wrote and I can picture it so well with how you’ve described it.

     

    It’s absolutely heart-breaking – to know how they were and all the times you had together and in those end throes, it just rips you apart and the grief you’re experiencing now is massive.

     

    Yes, sure it will get easier, but at the moment, that’s like on the other side of the world – it’s not a close thing to start to happen at all.  So it will take time and the end memories of the last moments will replay over for you.  I know – I’ve had the same thing happen to myself and you relive these things over and over again.   It’s something that’s just in us that we do this.   I also know for myself that I do wish that I wouldn’t do it, because it does just relive the moment over and bring it all back again.

     

    This is just going to take time my friend, but please come here and post … unload and ramble, as often as you want.  I’ll be here to read, as will others.  If you feel it’ll help, then please do it.

     

    Thank you for sharing the news of the 3 baby parrots – again, this will take time, but the bonding and relationships with those will happen.

     

    Keep us posted my friend.

     

    Kind regards

     

    Neil

  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16480 posts
    25 February 2016 in reply to Scotty2013
    dear Scotty, I have replied to your other post, so unfortunately I'm not sure that this is related to that post, but I would think so.
    I'm pleased that Neil has replied back to you because he is someone who understands how you are feeling, and feels very sad when someone loses a pet, just like I do.
    There was a post by Hello Miss Emily in the grief section I believe, where both Neil and myself replied back to her, as she had lost a puppie to a snake bite, after losing another puppie before this, it's very sad and very upsetting.
    There are few words that anyone can say to someone when they lose one of their prized pets, the one that you spoke to everyday or every minute when ever you could, because the look they give you is priceless, one that only you can understand.
    In Miss Emily's post I said that no matter whatever pet you have and in this case 3 little parrots left, it doesn't fill that hole which has been left by losing him, no matter how beautiful they are, because there's nothing that can fill that hole, as it can only be replaced.
    I lost my 18 year old dog due to cancer, and at that time my present dog Moo-Moo couldn't fill that hole, even as much as she tried to show me her love, and that's when I had a relapse, which would then be able to connect with what I have said in your other post, about 'do you think it completely goes away'.
    I am really so sorry for your lose, because it's a feeling which I do understand. Geoff.

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