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Forums / Grief and loss / Living with guilt?

Topic: Living with guilt?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Surround/ alone
    Surround/ alone avatar
    1 posts
    1 November 2018

    Hello everyone.

    I struggle with being alive and having a great family of my own, wich may seem strange but i am left wondering why i have what i have?

    I have lost 5 Brothers. 3 to suicide and 2 to illness and not one day goes by without me thinking that i am to blame in someway.

    Is it normal to feel guilt just for being alive?

  2. romantic_thi3f
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3116 posts
    1 November 2018 in reply to Surround/ alone

    Hi Surround/ alone,

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here. I'm really sorry for all your losses.

    To answer your question though, yes - it's normal to feel guilty for being alive. Sometimes this is called survivors guilt. Without knowing you or your brothers, I am already positive that there is nothing that could have been done to prevent their deaths, however I can understand how that feeling can be so incredibly strong.

    Often, people have these constant 'what ifs' - what if I'd done something differently, or been somewhere else, did/didn't say/do that. The questions are endless and it's so frustrating having them unanswered. Given that we have no answers, it's the next best reaction to blame ourselves. You're absolutely not alone in this.

    I hope this answers your question. Feel free to let us know how we can support you more and I hope you enjoy being apart of these forums.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Frantic1
    Frantic1 avatar
    37 posts
    4 December 2018 in reply to Surround/ alone
    Surround/alone I am so sorry for your losses. As romantic mentioned this is what is known as survivors guilt and is completely normal. There is absolutely nothing anyone can do or say to someone who has decided to take their own life although we always think we can prevent it. The best way to honour your brothers is to live a full and happy life as I am sure that is what they would have wanted for you. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through with this but know that you are not alone.

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