First, i'm so sincerely sorry for the pain you feel/have felt/continue to feel at the loss of a loved one and the fallout (with family) that seems to follow. I've read a a few threads and for the first time in many weeks feel like I am amongst people to truly understand what its like.
I lost my mom very suddenly on the 10th of April. My parents live overseas and I saw her in December - she seemed well at the time. When I rushed back home in April things were very different. She had an emergency surgery that hadnt gone well, she was on life support and heavily sedated for the pain. We lost her a week later without ever having had a chance to say goodbye. The guilt I feel for not being there for her in her last conscious moments is extreme. Having to leave my father all by himself was no less difficult.
My husband has been incredibly supportive, as have many close friends but no one has experienced grief or loss - most times I feel there is an expectation that I will "shrug it off" and feel better. I sometimes feel that I am failing to do what is expected of me. And, I'm having real trouble with my in-laws. My husband's mother and sister expect me to be normal - becuause I lived away from my mom and only saw her infrequently they think I couldnt possibly have cared for her very much and dont understand when I am sad to have lost her. When my husband has tried to explain my need to distance myself from them for a while (because who can take the feeling of being judged and found wanting when they are at their lowest point?) they have retaliated and said that I'm a bad influence on the family and that I am taking my husband away from them.
I'm floored by it all. Up until my mother's death I've had an amicable relationship with my in-laws; we've helped each other out often. So I dont understand why they seem to have turned on me. I dont know if I'm over-reacting or whether I've done something wrong by them.
My mother was an incredibly strong woman - I miss her encouragement and support every day. I feel so let down by the people I thought would help me through her loss.
What can I do?