So, on my birthday at the beginning of the year. i lost my poppy, now he was a very special man. he meant the absolute world to myself and my family. and his death was so so sudden. i felt so numb. then a few days later, i saw a post on Facebook that a girl i used to dance with had passed away, and i immediately text the sister of the girl and say ' i am so sorry, she was so beautiful. i will see you in a few days,' Because i knew her and her family for most of my childhood. god she was only young, i felt so numb inside.
then the hard part was who funeral do i go to, and i sat down and i looked up and i knew my poppy would understand why i wouldn't be saying goodbye to him with everyone else.
when i got there, i found the sister and we cried in each others arms. for so long. they were my family too.
and on top of all this, i was in a very toxic relationship. he just wasn't helping me. and i couldn't have the loss of these two amazing people in my life, piled on top of my toxic relationship. so during all of that, i was also going through quite a tough breakup.
its been 7 months, and i thought i was getting better and better. but its all coming back. its just all in my head.