Hi everyone

I hope you all have a special xmas i would like to thank you all for the advice and time spent helping me through this tough period priceless you all gold i am very lucky to have a true friend and you guys me and my buddy been getting things ready for his little one he is a true champion and a very kind caring person wish i was part off his family well i kinda do thats how good a friend he is to make me feel that way pretty special dont you think so im not to sure what im doing for xmas i will be happy to no he is happy aswell as all you guy thanks once again

Best wishes

Jason

Hi Jason

Looking over our past posts I see you getting stronger, and though there are down times (particularly when you have problems with the Government) you do get over it and get in a better place - that's really great.

You have a dream of helping others later on when you can, we are just the same - and are lucky enough to be able to make that dream come true. So there's never any hassles about giving us a post anytime.

Your having friends is one of the really great things in life.

I hope you find a pretty good time over Christmas, whatever you do - & you too Mark

Croix

Jase, no worries mate, more than happy to see you grow, as Croix, quite correctly points out. 2017 is the year of Jason that is for sure. There will be bumps in the road but the resilience that you are building will see you take the next step in your recover.

So excited for what is ahead for you.

There is no reason why you are not part of their family. You don't have to be linked by blood to be family.

Have an awesome Christmas and to you also Croix, enjoy.

Mark.

Hey Jason~

I'm just checking in to see how you're getting on and what sort of Christmas you had.

Mine was pretty good though it was HOT, sweated off kilos -or so it seemed

Take care

Croix

Hi there Croix

The reality of my situation the peny has dropped, this is it life sucks when your out casted not only buy your family but the government sick off the games feel like i have had enough for sure someone is interfering would recieve more help in prison with no stress

Hey Jason~

Sounds like it's getting to you again, Christmas can sure su*k if you don't have those around that care for you - and you for them.

Is there any chance you can get way for a day or so and be by the ocean without life's hassles? I remember the pleasure you showed last time you talked about it.

You were also talking about your plans for helping others. There is no better person to give help than someone that has been there & survived - so really understands.

You are a strong fella and you will beat all this sh*t in time.

Hang in there

Croix

Hi mate

How do i no that this forum has not been interfered with i remember it taking me weeks to reset my password to be able to get back on this site why was it so difficult i had to call 3/4 times nearly gave up/ same thing happened to my email addresses this is the reason i have changed email address 4 times in a year and half i wondering if they fix me and saved my life in icu to extend my suffering thats why they kicked me on the streets knowing i had no were to live who does that really? i cant get arrested even after all the fuel drive off i have been doing i take my hat off smile in front off camera and give it the finger same thing with cigarettes if i have no money i ask for them say thankyou they call security even tell them my name and tell then please do not touch me i warn you they follow me to the car i let them take photos i wave and good bye and off i go jail is to easy let him suffer well im about to finnish off my last project a rain bow which im working on today once that is done i no a way to get arrested without hurting any one cause i feel like im the one who doing time for being stabbed i cant do this anymore it feel like im in a 3rd world contry prison here and i feel like im dieing inside because off the resentment and hatred towards this government and who ever is getting in the way off me being treated for my ptsd im so over it how do i even no your who you say you are 99% TELLS ME YOU ARE BUT TODAY FOR SOME REASON THERE IS A ELEMENT OF DOUBT ,SURELY NOT I SAY TO MY SELF you all seam to talk from the heart. anyway im getting on with the rainbow i have made 8 or so for the children i no and they love them

Bye and thanks for everything

Jason

Hi Croix and Markjt

Last night raining windy lucky i had tape at hand and  was not sure if my make do house on back off ute was going to hold up so i taped up the broken support and hoped for the best conditions were wild woke up feeling very depressed and realized this beautiful lady i meet she deserves much better than me.

had enough

Prison looking the best option this been going on to long not good for my mind or body resentment hatred towards government flash backs being stabed ptsd and anxity for an alssortment of things including my upbringing and what my uncle did to me being denied the right to my fathers funeral and not being told the truth about what and when exactly my opa passed away the two people in my family who were good to me and i love very much the rest i have no feelings for at all i would love to hear they are all were my shoes the fraudsters they are would you believe i come from a very wealthy family im the first grandson and i have not recieved my opa 's war medals which he promised me he was commissioned to America in world war two and worked under direct instructions from Roosevelt and isenhower? he told me things only i no!! and my so called family did not even have a funeral for him. sickening that i can not be sure off the day he passed away. they have given me to different dates its as if they are getting a kick out off upsetting me know how much he cared for me ,there is more im broken inside

jsson

Hi there

Thats were i sleep every night in one off the car parks along the coast

Hi Jason~

I'm pleased because you get at least a bit of a break.

If you don't mind me asking what are some other things that take your mind off hassles, perhaps a particular singer/song, TV program, walking, playing footy, watching wildlife whatever?

I'm asking about the sort of thing that can be used to help get the mind away from bad situations.

What do you reckon?

Croix

Hi Croix

Making other people happy painting rainbows for my friends children being there for my good friends if they need help in hand helping in general i like to help others unconditionally thats basically who i am , but none of it now takes my mind of the reality off the situation i find myself in today i was stabbed whilst i was receiving help and at the same time was helping others

Talk later

Hi there Croix And Markjt

My suspicion on who it is now confirmed i need to see you its bigger and wider spread and does not just concern me its my family as i suspected 1 in particular they have done the unthinkable im 99.9% sure i dont want to right what i no and because of who you are how do i let you no what i no as i dont trust anyone else

I no your not going to tell me if your on to this already but how much longer do i have to go through this before it ends

Regards jason

Dear Jason

I'm afraid I have to say I don't understand.

Both Mark and I are honorable people, and we would not be in beyondblue if we did not know that it is 100% secure. We both want to help YOU - no strings attached.

If you want to share anything with us you can - you have my word it will go no further.

If you would prefer to talk out loud you can ring the bb hep line on 1300 22 4636

The people on the line are health professionals, friendly and capable - they also keep confidentiality and do not know anything about you or your circumstances

Also they would not even tell us if you rang.

Hang in there mate

Croix

I understand but i can not mention names so i can not tell you who it is i will tell you few key words perth/flightsensations / boeing / copyright /chocolate /dating site ,to stand over people !!!!!!!/ cooperate fraud /name changing/ stealing/getting people on his side buy using things against them including professional people/ causing conflict and confusion withn groups / hacking! !!!!!!!/stealing classified information then offering them royalties boeing/ worth looking into guys he is dangerous for all i no he was the one who had me stabbed fits the seen with all the down grades in charges and me recieving no help i have a recording of him threatening to kill me 3 times on USB a family member who told my grandfather and grandmother i doused someone in peterol got it on USB my grandmother still believes i did it

Regards

and good luck Jason

Jase, can see it has been a pretty ordinary few days for you. Dude, you are in one hell of bad situation but to this day, you have survived each and every bad day and each and every bad situation. You are one very tough person.

Croix is spot on above, we care for you mate. We don't get paid on here, we do this because we want to. There are reasons why we are doing this - for me, it is because i have been to hell and back. I am fortunate that i made it back so i want to help others and you are one of the main reasons why i want to do this.

We all make choices in life and my choice is to continually visit this thread to see how you are going and just see if i can help you in some small way.

Can you sit back and realise how powerful it is to make a child happy? Tell me about these rainbows you are talking about. Making a child smile is so so awesome and YOU are doing that. You are changing the way a child thinks. You are having such a positive impact on a childs life. That is brilliant mate, just brilliant.

Stick with us mate, we are not going anywhere.

Cheers

Mark.

Hi Mark / Croix

Hope your all well sorry about yesterday its all really getting to me im ok for now but i do feel this is all getting to much and is destroying my out look on life .

im only human not robot i have feelings and a heart and they are being worn down buy all this but will never stop me from being who i am and what i enjoy doing

however i do not want to isolate myself and make excuses or avoid my good friends phone calls cause that is what im starting to do.

The rainbows this one is around a 4ft arc with the seven colours 7 inches in width the childs name in this case is on the left hand side in a star on the right hand star are two love hearts adjoining with mum i one and dad in the other both star and lovehearts are the same width as rainbow depending on its size all names glow at night so as when the child goes to sleep and lights go out the only thing they can see is the names on the rainbow as they fall asleep not sure how but if you have any young ones i would gladly appreciate the opportunity to make you one so as you can give to them

Anyway i got to get back to my friend's factory and finnish it off plus surf is looking ok i did new spray job on my board need to get some wax

Bye for now

Best wishes jason

Jase, no need to apologise mate. Mental health journeys have many bumps and you had a significant one yesterday. All good mate - you have survived another day and this was a big one - props to you. Continue to use the experience and learn from it. Learn that you are getting stronger every day. May not seem like it but you are.

Mate those rainbows sound completely awesome. Do you sell them? Could you market them in any way? Could definitely be a future in them for you by the sound of it.

Very happy that you are going for a surf - that is you time, no one else, nothing else but surf. You and the water.

Mark.

Hi Mark and Croix

Im at the factory just about finished done the names in glow powder then two coats of high gloss then finnish off with glitter i also make scaled down harley Davidson vrods made a replica off a very good friends bike great guy he also has helped me alot over the years and is off great service to the community does alot off charity fund raising for example teen challenge cycle ride perth to esperance and back 1000 klm 5 days /cancer/ 20day 20 push up for all the 20 service men that commit suicide every day around the world pluss more. He is a true inspiration works 3 weeks on 5 weeks off and received highest achieveroff the year award 2 years running better get back and finnish off this rainbow

Talk soon

Regards jason

Hi Jason

I had no idea there was so much to it or took so much skill - awesome.

It's pretty good to hear you cheerful again, and to hear about your friends

Hang in

Croix

Hi Jason

I'm afraid I don't get you.

Can you tell me what you mean? Over the hassles perhaps?

Croix

Hi Croix

Exactly the games, hassles, no assistance help for what i been through ,plus this is a tough time of the year I think to much ,any way had to get away from the beach to windy i found a car park in land no wind

Talk soon good night

Jase, I far from like the situation that you are in but I have to say i like your previous post "over it". I like it in the fact that you thought about getting onto the forum and posting. That is an outlet. Rather than keep it in, you decided to let it out and that is great.

I hope today has been a better day for you and the waves are good and the wind off shore.

Cheers

Mark

Hi Mark /Croix

No surf as per usual, cant be bothered even getting into the water i just feel like im existing rather than living how long does one expect me to continue on with no help with these flashbacks i am human being i have feelings, i cant ever remember treating anyone like this, i try my best to help others and right now everyone is busy and i have nothing to do other than think how f....... up my life has been, i just wish i would not wake up each time i fall to sleep, not good to be thinking like this still dont no why they saved my life thats what i mean when i say im over it .dont worry im not going to do anything stupid and kill myself however the thought crosses my mind very often i just wish i would not wake up sleep forever.

Happy new year

Regards Jason

Hi Jason

I can see you are doing a tough time, though I think I know you a bit now and I'm sure tough enough to pull through.

I had a hard time of it too, though I was never physically injured. I (still) get drawn back into timesin my past where things went wrong or were just plain horrible. Over the years I've come up with several ways of dealing with them.

It took me a LOT of practice. One thing I did/do when I can feel I'm on the downward slope is to try to think back to a time when I was happy, and trying to remember absolutely everything I can about it.

One example is I remember a train trip I took to visit my grandparents when I was a lad. This can occupy my mind for quite some time and leave me in a better place than when I started. I try to remember every thing from the color of the carriages to .. well you get the idea.

Do you have a memory like that, one where the world was good, one you might remember with pleasure?

Take care

Croix

Hi Croix

Thanks for your last post i will touch base with you bit later

uou giys ha

Jase, they saved your life because you were well worth saving. Never forget that. Even though your mind is doing it hard at the moment, you are worth it.

How is your mate travelling at the moment? Recovering well?

If you need to think of something positive, just think of the child who gets one of your rainbows. They sound so awesome and making a young one smile.

Cheers mate and hopefully the wave gods smile upon you shortly.

Mark.

Hi Mark and Croix

Would just like to say a big thank you for all the reassuring words and your patience with me i really do hope you all have a great new year , i no its not funny but i am going to lose it if i dont take a different approach to this lack off duty off care so im just going to laugh about it instead .and give up on getting help, dsp, counseling not even bothering with victims off crime compensation see if this approach makes life any easier for me as 2017 i want to put this all behind me as if it never happened can only try gone on for to long tonight is new years eve and i would like to enjoy the new year

Thanks for being there for me and understanding what im going through

All the best for the new year

Jason

Hi Mark and Croix

I just finished of a rainbow for my good friends daughter so as she can give it to one off her friends for the new year left out the names so she can write those in herself very rewarding doing these for the kids and gives me piece off mind for short time like i sde in last post i just got to try and laugh about the last 13 months it is what it is im gona try my best to not let it get the better off me and try some relaxation techniques rather than keeping busy going to try and see if i can watch some tv movie without my mind drifting off elsewhere

Happy new year

Regards jason

Ps might have found a place to stay for couple weeks. i slept in a proper bed mattress last night so comfortable

Hi Jason

You sound on the up right now, and you're right, doing things for kids is great - I'm sure your friend's daughter will have a lovely time giving the rainbow to her friend. Not only keeping occupied but a great result

Can't say I'm sorry to see you out of the wind in the ute and into a building for a change. Be nice to sleep on a mattress and catch a movie on tv

Take care- have a good new year's eve

Croix