Hi all, I have very new to this experience so I hope you can all bare with me.
In a time of absolute loneliness, to a point where I could not sink any lower in my own shame, after reading many of the posts in this thread, it is encouraging to know that I am not alone and that there are others out there all pulling together to see each other through.
From being a closest drinker, to a one person social drinker (as I have always been alone in my life, I've never felt the need to go out in a group for a night out), I have managed to use any reason to justify my drinking at the time. Feeling lonely, workplace bullying, rejection and feelings of career and personal failure were always the excuses. All that happened, was a feeling of nothing but shame and guilt the day after. This then led to another excuse to have a drink to dull the pain and try a feel good about something about myself. It became a feeling that I was regularly chasing. It was a cycle that I could stop for different lengths of time,
But then something would happen and then I would 'relapse'. As you can guess, this would compound the feeling of failure.
This is something that I have been trying to hide.....unsuccessfully....for a few years. Unfortunately, it took an accident at home and a trip to the hospital to make me realize, something needs to change and change it will. On this new journey of recovery, unlike previous attempts, I can't do this one by myself.
I've already taken small steps on the road back to my true self. But reading the journeys of many people in this forum, its good to know I'm not alone, and there are people travelling similar journeys who are more than willing to help others achieve their daily goals and provide a sounding board of support.
Thank you to many for having the courage to provide some of your stories and insights