dear Kazz, NewMe, Moonstruck and EllieHock, well Kazz has mention so much in her reply it's hard for to add to it, but perhaps if I could say that everyone is different why they drink , their circumstances and diffent ways of how to stop, but as I keep saying this is a great post.
Wow where do I start after Kazz, for anybody to make the decision to stop drinking is an enormous one because it's so accepted in our society, we grow up with parents and their friends drinking alcohol, laughing making jokes but after awhile it could turn nasty when one of them drinks far too much, and then embarrasses their partner so the party can turn soul.
We do use alcohol as a way to relax, but then there's a big difference between relaxing than a need to relax and that's what people with anxiety and depression use it for, but it goes one step too far because it starts to affect their family and possibly their work and definitely being able to drive, then we realise that we have a big problem that we need to overcome.
An alcoholic can't have just one drink, that's virtually impossible, they need to keep drinking, and the greatest fear is what am I going to fall back on to to get you through.
There have been some excellent suggestions by all, but it's what you find is the easiest way, for me when I abstained and the time I normally started to drink, and let's say it's 3pm, I would have a big lemonade fizzy drink and something to eat, that would fill my stomach so that I didn't feel like a drink and going to AA wasn't what I needed, I didn't like it's format.
There were times when I welcomed people coming to visit us because it meant that I could drink without any problems, but that wasn't solving my problem.
With NM your husband would have been quietly suffering in another way, where you had your alcohol to fall back on, but your husband had nothing and just wanted to get away from all of what was happening, he may not have shown any indication in the later stages that he wanted you to stop, so his easiest way out was to leave.
Kazz says ' Being sober in itself will not solve all our problems' and how true she is.
I will have to continue on another page. Geoff. x