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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)

Topic: Blue's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (life viewed through the lens of depression)

  1. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    1 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    Haha, glad I can amuse. The hairdresser herself said it looked sexy, I was only thinking it... Yeah, I think business is doing just fine for them!

    Thankfully his nausea started to ease yesterday and he has been much better today. A reprieve for both of us. We even went for a walk together tonight, and played a game online together for a bit. He still doesn't have much energy, so he was ready for bed straight after that.

    Yeah, it's frustrating. His care is less intensive than it was, i.e. not mobility or help with showering and that sort of thing, so the little bit of support I had is long gone. For an actual carer's payment (different to the allowance I was getting) I'd have to be pretty much unable to leave his side to work or much of anything else, so no go there, the criteria to meet are way stricter than for the allowance I briefly had. He gets his DSP (so helpfully half taken back if I make a little money) and help with medical costs. Sure I need support too, but I ain't gonna get it. Not in this system.

    Nice, I'm glad you're doing well with meditating. I've always found that whilst I don't class myself as being good at it, it does at least slow the flow of thoughts and put me outside of them rather than in the middle of them. I often come away with some of the negative thought patterns broken enough that solutions to problems pop into my head soon after I have meditated. Actually managed to meditate a little tonight. With first one bird on my head then by the time I finished, the other bird standing on my pillow staring at me, haha.

    Actually it's cooled right down for now. Not a day over 30 forecast for the coming week. Warm enough to get some washing done though.

    Hope your pumpkins go well, Wilma. Glad you are gardening.

    I managed to make some lamingtons the other day, sending a couple to go with the coffee. :)

    1 person found this helpful
  2. ecomama
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    2 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    HI Blue and happy waves to everyone

    I bet your birdies are wondering what you're doing for them just sitting there meditating lol!
    My pets think EVERYTHING is about them lol!

    My poodle furbaby has the vet tomorrow and he won't be happy, little darling. His ear problem has returned and it's a pain to get rid of and hurts him.
    Then groomer's next week.

    I'm so happy LM, or is it Frank? lol, is home again now and you've been able to do some things together, that's SWEET!

    How's your new business venture going?

    I thought of a great business here until we become like Canada and Washington State, where they allow pet dogs EVERY WHERE... all through the airports too! lol... nothing like here.

    A pet taxi...
    Our population here was pretty huge really but now it's exploded during the covid stuff and there are SO MANY new people here everywhere.
    This kind of business would help people and their pets here.

    How are you doing overall?

    Love EM

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    3 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Oh, they were fine. Sir Pecks assumed I was being his jungle gym, and I think Mr Feisty was just happy I was staying still for five seconds. He doesn't like how active I am, won't just stay on my shoulder for it like Sir Pecks does.

    Oh dear, poor pup. Hopefully treatment goes smoothly for him. Give him lots of pats and a treat from me.

    Let's go with LM - he is after all, my Lovely Man. You know you said Fred in the other thread, haha. He's definitely not a Fred or a Frank. His reprieve is temporary, he'll be back in hospital for a few days when they get the other medication they need for him, but it's good to have him home. The computer is finally fixed and home, so he's able to do his own thing a bit and feel more like himself.

    Pet taxi, huh? Not a bad idea, I can see a lot of people getting use out of it. Hard to imagine a place where dogs are allowed anywhere and everywhere, sounds good though.

    So, my idea has sadly not panned out as I hoped. Can't say I'm surprised really, that's how my ideas go. It took ages to get hold of the boss for her advice, though I may have already missed the boat before that. It isn't hopeless as a long term goal though. I can't escape the company I work for, so my thought was to apply for a baking apprenticeship through my workplace. The work itself is right up my alley, the hours unsociable (i.e. appropriate for me), I would be barely if at all involved in customer service which would be way better for my partner's safety and for my own mental health.

    To answer your question, I'm a bit all over the place. Disappointed, obviously, that I missed the current apprentice intake. I have registered my interest online though, and the boss now knows my goals and said she'd talk to our regional manager. That's a step in the right direction. Might be six months before I get another crack at it. Sigh. Trying to take the positive, that it isn't hopeless and I have less hours and less responsibility than I did before, when I go back to work. It's nice that a couple of people have said they miss me.

    Thanks for dropping in, EM.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Wilma1
    Wilma1 avatar
    1630 posts
    3 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Blue, I have a pic in my mind, of you meditating, and birds understanding exactly what’s going on. My girl stares at me too. A tad unnerving.

    A walk and computer games sounds like a bit of a break from the pain etc. Hopefully, each day, things ease, even a little. I think having gone through all you both have, every ‘ little’ is appreciated.

    I’m having one of those dark weeks, darker than the norm that is, so not many words.

    Thinking of you often, sending positive vibes.

    Dropping off ☕️☕️☕️

    Hi to all passing. 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

    2 people found this helpful
  5. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    3 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    Personally, I was delighted to see Mr Feisty standing in front of my face, looking at me with his beautiful, intelligent eyes. My gorgeous boy. :)

    Yeah, you definitely appreciate the small things in a situation like this. I think we always have, didn't really need a reminder...

    Sorry to hear that. No need to be talkative, I can sit quietly with you if it helps, coffee and lamingtons at the ready.

    Kind thoughts to you, hope you can find some peace soon.

    2 people found this helpful
  6. ecomama
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    3 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    I pinched one of your lamingtons on the way in!
    I've got a cuppa already lol.

    That's a great goal! You've done all the right things expressing an interest etc.
    GOOD LUCK!

    I took darling chicken out for a while today but she's not quite as happy outside anymore. All the other birds; Brush Turkeys & chickens are SO much bigger than her, so she's frightened quite alot. Still, if I'm near her sweeping or watering, she's very happy wandering around her familiar areas.

    OH not Fred or Frank lol okay I'll call him LM too.
    I'm so glad this treatment is available for LM but still, it must be hard dealing with it all the time for both of you. HUGS!!

    He does sound lovely though, that's beautiful.

    Oh yes!! I stepped out into the airport at Sea-Tac the first time and saw DOGS EVERYWHERE lol!
    Like absolutely everywhere. It was the first thing I noticed except for the COLD lol. I left here on Christmas night & arrived on BFs Christmas night.
    Apparently it's just the norm over there, even to have big dogs in rented apartments.

    I'm sure it's great for people's mental health to be able to have their pets with them almost wherever they go.

    Here it's nowhere near that.... yet lol.

    Everyone there said "Oh, don't you allow dogs in Australia?" lol... yes but not in airports lol.
    I felt like saying oh no, we only allow our pet kangaroos and koalas in airports.
    Some people would believe anything lol!
    I had a bit of fun with that.

    Lol carrying over from the 'American accent' thing on our other thread... my eldest children were SHOCKED I was seeing an American man. It was one country I never needed or wanted to visit, like ever. I even banned most American shows in our home! Like The Simpsons etc.

    Sometimes you get what you need and not what you want lol... meeting my BF changed my life, attitudes and love for that country.

    Hearing his smooth voice like caramel was amazing. He loves my accent too but had also never wanted to visit Australia but now has & loves it.
    It was only him that changed me about all that.

    But I do like the app you speak of. I downloaded it for my children for sleep time when they were very stressed a few years ago. It's also available on pretty much every aeroplane I've travelled on, and I agree, his voice is very calming.

    My kids were used to meditation anyway. I'm glad I made the effort there for the years before "the dark ages" as we call those traumatic times. I know it helped their resilience.

    Best wishes
    EMxxxx

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    4 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    There are plenty of lamingtons to go around, EM. :)

    Thanks. Fingers crossed something comes of it. Feeling pretty flat about missing the boat for this intake.

    Aw. I'm glad your chicken has you as her protector outside. She deserves all the love and attention you give her.

    Yeah, it's a bit taxing dealing with all these meds and their side effects for him. Fatigue has been the big one, he's really been knocked flat by it. I know what that is like, it can be crippling.

    He is the loveliest, EM. I couldn't hope for a more beautiful partner.

    I can't imagine Australia being so open to animals, as much as I would love for it to be so. You're right it would be considerably better for mental health but also for dogs, I bet there would be far fewer in shelters if rental homes were more accepting of pets. In my brief foray into being a landlord, you bet I allowed pets, just needed to make it clear in the contract that the tenant is liable for any damage they cause. There is bond for that sort of thing.

    Haha, it's funny what Americans think about Australia, I bet some of them would believe you about roos and koalas in the airport.

    As you say, sometimes you get what you need and not what you want. I have no problem with Americans in general, but some aspects of their culture are more than slightly worrying. That could be said of any country, Australia included, wilful ignorance abounds in both countries and is at the root of some really messed up politics. But in both places there are people who think, and research, and consider the ramifications of wilful ignorance. In both places there are amazing natural wonders and wildlife that have nothing to do with any of that. It's all about perspective.

    Oh sweet, glad you know about Reuben. I've tried so many apps, his is the only one that really worked for me. Glad it has been of help to your offspring as well. As you say, the groundwork in better times was probably quite beneficial through the dark bits.

    I had the bright idea of inviting father in law over for dinner. Gotta make laksa now, the dude loves it!

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    5 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues
    Due back at work next week. Not doing great with that. Feel like any me time I have managed to salvage around household and caring responsibilities while I've not had work on top of it all will be straight out the window.
  9. ecomama
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    How you doing today? I've been thinking about you.

    I can tell you're a very organised person and going back to work will impact your time for things.

    I wake up 30 mins to 1 hour earlier than I would need to on my work mornings, so I can spend time in the front garden with darling girl, a cuppa, the forums and just breathe.
    Those could probably count as my 3 self-care things lol.

    There were many times over the years where I dreaded going to work.
    Not bec of the work but bec of not knowing what was happening at home when I left.

    Eventually lol... after things became safer and safer at home, I realised my feelings and attitude about work.

    I just decided to SMILE more to people.
    Ask how they are just because.
    Tell a silly joke to anyone lol.

    Do a random act of kindness.

    It helped.

    I also realised that ruminating over going to work when I wasn't at work was a terrible waste of my time NOT at work! lol... I did this whilst at school too... spent almost ALL Sunday dreading going back to school on Monday.
    Then one day it clicked and I PUSHED into my free time and just used it all up doing niceties, like organising my ribbons etc etc.

    Are you having father in law over?
    Sounds sweet.

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    6 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Not doing so great today, to be honest. Not even because of work, ironically. Just started the day in a really bad place. Forgetting to take my meds yesterday probably didn't help...

    Guess that counters the "organised person" idea, haha. Mostly I'm pretty organised, but that said, it is with the acknowledgement that I have a seriously bad head for mundane things and have to account for that with a lot of reminders.

    Your pre-work strategy is a good one. Mine is similar. I make sure I have enough time for a good breakfast and to let my birds out for a while. I'll generally put on a nature show - there are a few "slow TV" kind of things on Netflix. Did you know there are live bird feeder cams on YouTube? I watch those a bit, literally a live stream of birds at a feeder doing their thing (and sometimes cheeky squirrels coming for a nibble, too). There are fish ones too, cameras at reefs and things.

    I can certainly understand that, and that's part of it. I am worried about leaving my partner on his own when he is still feeling so down and tired. Makes me sad. I've told him to message me as much as he needs to, and I'll call him on my breaks.

    Good strategy for dealing with work. I do all of those things naturally. It's the company ethos and management style I hate - many of my fellow plebs are great and I have some fun talking to them (and a lot of them hate the place as much as I do).

    You're definitely right that the ruminating isn't helping. I'm trying not to, though I am left with the sense of having so little time and trying to figure out what to do with it, and it's largely the indecision about that which is wasting my time. Aargh.

    Yeah, had father in law over on Friday. He's done heaps to help us out recently and whilst my resources are few, the one good thing I can do to thank him is cook. He gets quite excited about my cooking, which is great. Makes me feel like I've got something worthwhile to contribute.

    I got a bit triggered today. Small, stupid thing. Checked the self care thread and my last post seems to have slid into the abyss unnoticed. Was feeling pretty fragile when I wrote it and still am today, so that hurt and flashed me back to all the years with the ex and various others in my life and feeling so invisible with him/them. It's why I always respond to posts, I fall down that hole easily when I'm down, even knowing no-one means any harm. Seems almost petty, but there you go. Tips on dealing with triggers?

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. ecomama
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Oh sweetheart, you have such a kind and sensitive soul. Hugs.

    I think these forums are FULL of sensitive souls because we get damaged so much by this sometimes cruel and nonsense world.

    I'm sorry you woke in a low place this morning. It happens!

    You are normally so organised but something in that post made me twig to what Alexa (not her real name lol) said to me a few weeks ago. You know she's studied Psychology right? She's enrolling in her next whatever you want to call it... Post Grad Psych Degree I'll call it lol... to begin next year...

    ANYWAY she has a personality that can be "so in your face" lol then sometimes when she KNOWS what she wants to bring up about me TO ME... then she goes softly softly...

    We've worked out that she can put something to me and I say "No I don't think so. Let me think about it" then after a few days the pennies drop and I go AHA YES She's RIGHT!

    So I'm pretty sure I have some kind of hyperactivity and attention thing going on. (Psych at my work said no because I have "high executive functioning" but okay but I do have the others).

    There's a POINT lol I'm getting there!

    So you and I must have lists here, there and wherever so that we remember all the things we need to do and mine are also about what I need to buy, fix, wants, dreams oh the lists go on.

    You have a LOT on your plate right now. Physically, emotionally and psychologically.

    It makes sense you're stressed for obvious reasons... give yourself a break!
    You are managing so much atm.

    Triggers?
    Well now I'm a full throttle IN THERE and deal with them person now.
    I used to TRY to avoid them but this literally made my life unmanageable; it worsened my PTSD and that's the worst place for me to be in.

    So there are lots of options for doing exposure therapy.
    And I know what you said about 1800RESPECT before. It's not just a crisis hotline. It's for anyone who's had DISrespect and abuse happen to them.
    If you've experienced trauma at any time in your life and you're trying to deal with it NOW then you can ask to speak with a trauma psych.

    I do.

    I'm not a psychologist so I'm reticent to tell you in any absolute terms HOW to do exposure therapy without one on hand!

    But I can write about some things I do in the hopes any or all of these many help you.
    I would prefer if you passed a technique by a trauma psych first though, even though my trauma psych approved ALL of my strategies lol. She's probably putting them in her next book lol.

    Let me know
    EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    6 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hm. Kind maybe, sensitive sometimes. Not that often, but when it's there it hits me like a bloody freight train. I defy anyone not to be damaged by the selfish thoughtlessness and outright disregard of so many people out there.

    Yeah, it does happen. Talk about lousy timing, stupid emotions have wasted much of my last day before work. I could not afford that.

    I got a hint from your thread that Alexa has studied psych, yeah. That's familiar EM, I have lists for everything, all the things you mentioned inclusive. Notes all over the place. I put it down to my personality type. Don't know if you know much about the Myers Briggs types - I am an INTP if that means anything. Mostly logical but also a bit of a dreamer, i.e. the mundane just isn't where my head lives. I get caught up in ideas and projects, systems and the details of those, and the daily grind is a real struggle for me. My counsellor commented that I should have a personal assistant. Oh for the budget for that.

    I really don't remember the last time I didn't have a lot on my plate, EM, it's been constant for years. Hardly surprising I'm struggling, but I could do without the past stuff smacking me in the chops while I'm trying to manage the present. Sigh.

    Avoiding triggers is just about impossible, but I sure don't know what to do with them when they hit. I can understand how trying just makes things worse when they're everywhere.

    I wonder what they count as abuse or as trauma. 99.9% for me has been in the form of neglect. So prolonged and complete that it does about as much damage as overt abuse. Maybe going down the financial gurgler multiple times counts as trauma. I dunno, the world has taught me that whatever happens to me isn't what someone can get help for, only the things that happen to other people. Sounds like neglect talking, doesn't it?

    Definitely willing to hear your strategies. Professional second opinion makes sense. Who knows? They might even work for me. I've spent so long trying to push through the immediate day-to-day madness that triggers have just been a periodic inconvenience that bugger a day here and there for me, I haven't had much room for tackling the past as well as the present, but clearly the work has to start somewhere. Grr that it has to.

    Thanks for checking in, EM, it's appreciated.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  13. ecomama
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hi Blue

    Not sure what "counts as" anything, but if there are trauma responses, then they're there.
    I won't weigh one person's something against another person's something else re: their experiences.
    It's just not useful.

    It's more about how a person is feeling, reacting etc that's more important to me.

    It's like there's no use comparing unless we can get some GOOD out of it.
    Get what I mean?

    But research compares ALL the time.
    I went to a lecture once that indicated neglect is the worst form of abuse meaning that children who've suffered years of neglect fare far worse than children who suffered other forms.
    I found it impossible to believe at the time (like most NEW information for me lol give me a few days!) but in reflection it makes TOTAL sense.

    Even though it IS important what you've been through - because you have ruminating thoughts that are interfering with your life - it's how you've reacted and are reacting NOW to those events.

    THIS is where a 1800RESPECT trauma psych can help.
    They've been incredible helpers for me.

    EVEN when I thought "What am I carrying on about? We're safer than we've ever been"... but they've helped me make sense of it all!

    trauma is trauma is trauma.
    This is NOT to belittle anyone's trauma at all.
    We react very similarly to so much of it.

    RECOVERY has to be a focus and it's what you're questioning so much now. High five! lol.

    Self-care is the number 1 thing that supports recovery of ALL types of MHIs even including C-PTSD. Which I also couldn't believe either!
    But it's working for me, after lengthy, sometimes arduous work on myself with psychs & my ANGELIC Counsellor.

    A quick outline of one process to diminish triggers and over time extract them completely to faint memory but only if we keep at it and clean out every corner of our minds about it...
    was to ID the exact trigger eg the sound of someone mowing the lawn.
    GRAB that and follow it right back... keep going, keep going... ID WHO it was and the event that happened.
    I write it ALL out when I have to but can do it mindfully now.
    It takes some work.
    My trauma psych said there's ALWAYS "a person" at the root of all triggers.
    There was for me anyway.

    If that person's not in your life then good.
    Connecting the dots then DISconnecting the dots to this trigger & placing that person IN THE PAST where they can no longer harm you is the aim.

    This is where Dr Joe Dispenza's books on Rewiring Your Brain can work.
    WILL work.
    Clips online too.

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Wilma1
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    1630 posts
    7 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues
    Thinking of you Blue. Guessing you are back at work. Sending 💙💙☕️☕️
    2 people found this helpful
  15. ecomama
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    7 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    Yeah I popped in to see how you're going too Blue. Poodle and darling chicken sending a big HI to aunty Blue too!

    EMxxxx

    3 people found this helpful
  16. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    7 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey Wilma and EM,

    Yep, ol' Blue is back at work. Was too knackered last night to come onto the forums.

    Thanks for coffee. Pats for chicken and poodle. "Aunty Blue" - has a nice ring to it, made me smile.

    Will reply properly once I've had a little rest. Kind thoughts to you both.

    Blue.

    2 people found this helpful
  17. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    11 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    What I meant re "what counts" as trauma, I meant what counts in the eyes of services like 1800RESPECT in terms of eligibility to use the service. I have a serious knack for being ineligible for all sorts of help along those lines. As for defining such things myself, I agree with you completely.

    As someone who has experienced a whole lot of neglect, it makes perfect sense to me. I never really thought of the childhood neglect as doing me that much harm (emotional rather than physical, at least in the formative years, I was fed back then), but I guess it probably did. It was the neglect within relationships that really hit me, because these were people I chose to have in my life, that treated me like I mattered for a while, then the chemistry wore off and I was a ghost in my own home. That I couldn't swallow. You don't choose your parents, you know, it's the luck of the draw. Partners should be different.

    As for acknowledging and working on the trauma of that... I think simply being in survival mode so long I just haven't had the breathing space to address the backlog. "Sure I was neglected, but I have no money and I'm hungry." "Sure I was neglected, but my neighbour is making my life hell and I need to find a new house." "Sure I was neglected, but finding a new house financially ruined me AGAIN!" "Sure I was neglected, but my partner is having half his organs popped out and replaced." This has been my mental place for years, just crisis after crisis after crisis, how do you address any of it when there's always "I NEED TO SURVIVE RIGHT NOW!"?

    I totally see the value of self care. It's a struggle when we have so much pulling at us - work, loved ones that need us, jobs that need doing. But we need to look after us first or it all falls apart.

    I've never had trouble identifying the root of my triggers - the who and the event are always perfectly clear to me, self-awareness isn't a sticking point for me - just never really knew what to do with them when they came up. Disconnecting the dots and putting them in the past... bit hazy on the how of that.

    I'm guessing that's re habit forming and creating new neural pathways. I have some knowledge of that, just not so much where triggers are concerned.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    11 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    So, back at work, just two shifts in so far, and the rest of the week has been caught up with birthday season in my family (including mine, so that's nice), and with my partner being unwell and having a barrage of medical appointments. It has been a long week and we are both exhausted.

    The work itself wasn't too awful, for those two shifts I kept my head in a mostly okay place. It's my body that has failed me. My back and hip have been in a lot of pain. I think sciatica is the main problem with my back, which may or many not be the source of the hip pain as well. Not sure when I'll be able to see a doctor around the next bunch of work shifts and fitting in downtime for myself so I can vaguely cope with them. Need physio, can't afford it. Ugh.

    Checked again on the income requirements for a Health Care Card, looks like they've upped the income threshold for eligibility. I've earned a grand total of $0 in the last 8 weeks (the period for which they test income), so that should get me one for a while at least, and I think I'll be able to renew after. About time, I've checked and re-checked for years and always fallen just outside their criteria despite struggling significantly to pay my bills.

    Bit of a struggle to maintain self care. Trying.

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  19. Croix
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    Croix avatar
    11060 posts
    11 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Dear Blue

    Wishing you good luck with the health card -a real bonus. Also that your LM is managing, it is a frightening time.

    I hope you can squeeze in medical visit about your back and hip, might forestall more trouble later (a sort of self care?)

    I'm afraid I can't offer you any music, I'm listening to the soundtracks from the movie French Kiss with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. They are lush romantic and I'm not at all sure your cup of tea (or coffee in you case:(

    Croix

    2 people found this helpful
  20. ecomama
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    11 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    I've read your posts.

    About the physio, could you ask your GP for a Health Care Plan for a physio?
    I think it only costs about $10 per session for maybe 6 sessions per year this way.

    I used it for a physio type of person a number of years ago.

    Hope this helps.
    I have to hit the sack. The surgery on my mouth today is pretty uncomfortable.

    Love EM

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  21. Wilma1
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    1630 posts
    11 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Blue, happy Birthday. Being so close to Christmas would be tricky.🎉🎉🎊🎊

    I’m glad work was manageable, but sorry about the back and hip pain. I’m pleased you can now get a healthcare card. I hope it makes all the difference, every little bit helps.

    I hope it’s a weekend off for you, with some time to relax.

    Leaving a strong ☕️☕️☕️

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  22. Blue's Clues
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    2299 posts
    12 December 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hey Croix,

    Thanks. I don't think I'll have trouble getting it, this time, it's just a matter of waiting. They estimated a full month just to assess it. Sigh.

    Hoping to get that doctor's visit in next week. As you say, sooner rather than later, I won't be doing myself any favours by neglecting it. Yes, self care, though of the more irritating variety - the sort of thing I won't enjoy but will thank myself for, later.

    Haha, nope, that doesn't sound like my cup of tea (or coffee).

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    12 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    I had an inkling that a Health Care Plan might be a thing. I've asked my partner to call the doctor's office to find out more. He's better with phone calls than I am, I hate them - if phone calls are involved, you can always guess what jobs get shoved to the bottom of my priority list as long as possible.

    So now I'm told a whole year before the next apprentice intake. The other programme is a maybe, boss has been less than forthcoming with information and frankly seems largely uninterested. What little I could find out (from a colleague who did it years ago but didn't take it further) suggests it is a good way to up my workload for the same pay, typical of the company I work for. It's looking like a probable dead end. I don't think I can last another year with things as they are. Though I guess I've been saying that for the last decade, and I've continued to drag myself along.

    Dental surgery is nasty, get plenty of rest.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    12 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    Thanks, Wilma. Yeah, my birthday has been lumped in with Christmas a lot over the years. Less so since it's been just the small family unit, my siblings and I would rather acknowledge each other as individuals than let birthdays be overshadowed by a commercial holiday. The gifts are ususally humble, given the outlay at this time of year, but it's the acknowledgement that really matters.

    Don't know how long it will stay manageable - probably not long - but I guess I'll take what I can get before I really lose it again. I can already see it coming, today was trying due to what I just told EM. Hopefully the Health Care Card doesn't take too long to come through, I could have used it for my asthma meds, they aren't cheap. Whatever the cost, I'll have to deal with the back and hip very soon.

    Sadly not, it's my week-end on at work. Doing my best to relax as much as possible.

    How are you doing? I recall you feeling pretty low, recently.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Wilma1
    Wilma1 avatar
    1630 posts
    14 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Blue, no weekend off. Hopefully a few days now.

    I’m hoping for a change in your work situation. I know it’s a long shot, but things are changing for your partner now, life is heading in the right direction in one major area, who knows.

    We are having some really hot weather. Not something I like, bit Wednesday is looking like a cool change.

    I’ve been rattling my chains for a while Blue. What can I say. Life goes on.

    Anyway, take care where you can. ☕️☕️☕️

    2 people found this helpful
  26. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    15 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    I had yesterday off. Honestly, it wasn't enough. Most of it got swallowed up doing housework (even with my partner helping me). Got maybe half an hour of relaxation. Back at work today and tomorrow before I get a more reasonable break.

    I can't say I'm anticipating much change in my work situation any time soon, at least not based on any effort on my part. I'll keep trying to improve things but I think it's in the hands of the whims of the universe at this point, there aren't a lot of things left to try that I currently know about. As you say, my partner's health is a big thing changing in our lives, it may trigger other changes we can't yet foresee. One can hope.

    I know the heat isn't your cup of tea, Wilma. I'm sure you and your garden will benefit from the cool change. It's been humid here, which makes the heat somewhat less pleasant, I am also looking forward to the coming cool change.

    Life does go on, but we don't need to get completely swept up in it when we need to step back. Here to listen if you want to talk about it, or sit quietly with you if you don't.

    Kind thoughts to you and your loyal companion. Sending iced coffee to cool you down.

    3 people found this helpful
  27. ecomama
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    15 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!

    I hope you ate lots of cake!

    Yeah I'm pretty positive you can go to your GP and get a "Health Care Plan" for things like physiotherapy and chiropractics and probably many other things too. From memory it was 6 sessions on a VERY reduced rate like $10 or $20 instead of $70+++.

    That's 6 sessions per year.

    Anyway Google might help!

    I'm pretty sure also that things like this are Nation wide just like Medicare so whatever I got, you can get too.

    What I'm NOT sure about is whether a Health Care Plan's sessions interfere with the upped 20 sessions for a MHCP??

    Everything's a labyrinth to navigate.
    You need a degree JUST to be able to navigate this stuff.

    It's not fair.

    Anyway only ONE day left of work before your break hey?

    I've just sat down after over 12h on the go today. Awful day. But I'm still here so that's a plus lol.
    No rest. Not good for my healing but I got some alternative preparations from the Health food store tonight to help it all along.

    I can't wait to put up my recipe for rice paper rolls AND the totally YUMMY sauce my eldest daughter created and is letting me share lol... it's to die for truly.
    I think you'll love that recipe even if it's pretty fiddly BUT you can save a huge batch of the sauce in the fridge, so when you want to make the next batch of rolls, it's already there.
    Just add nuts!

    Talk soon
    Love EM

    3 people found this helpful
  28. Wilma1
    Wilma1 avatar
    1630 posts
    15 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Blue, I hope I’m right in presuming today is a day off. 🤞🤞🤞

    I hear of many stuck in work situations that aren’t working. It’s very tricky out there today. Every man/woman for themselves, kind of thinking and acting. I just hope something happens for you.

    My LC has been back to the vet, I might have already mentioned that. But long story short, if this treatment doesn’t work, then it’s heart meds. What can I say. It breaks my heart, but I will do whatever it takes.

    My stuff has been a consistent flow of life 💩💩💩. The icing on the cake last week, was bumping into a person I went to college with, 30+ years ago. I was filled in on many of the others, all doing well. I just felt like the worlds biggest failure. I do like to know others a are travelling well, I just with I was one of them. Anyone, life goes on.

    Christmas isn’t my favourite season either. But it will pass, and 2021 will be welcomed by many, yourself included.

    Its cool this morning, such a relief. Two days in a row is two too many. 😂😂

    Enjoy your day off. I hope you have time to relax. ☕️☕️☕️☕️

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    18 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Thanks. There was so much cake.

    You're not kidding a degree is needed to figure things out, doctors sure don't volunteer any information. My partner was told 20 free sessions with the MHCP for him, a while after I got mine. Me, I got 6 subsidised sessions (i.e. about $100 a pop out of my pocket because the subsidy is woefully inadequate). We'll see about the stuff for my back, I'm off to the doctor on Sunday.

    Yeah, I really had to focus on it being one day. It was a long and exhausting day.

    Yuck, 12 hours on the go, and when you're not well. I've done my share of that, it sucks.

    Recipe sounds good, I'll have a look when I'm less knackered.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2299 posts
    18 December 2020 in reply to Wilma1

    Nope, the day you asked that was another day on. Not a pleasant day either, one of the ones where I was the senior person in the department. Ugh.

    Yeah, there are a lot of us. That said, a lot of those complain but don't try to change anything (i.e. a lot of my colleagues). That frustrates me - at least I'm trying to do something about it, what are they whingeing to me for if they won't do the same?

    Oh no, that's bad news, Wilma. What are her symptoms now? I really hope the vet can find the cause of her troubles and help her. Of course you will do whatever it takes, I'd be no different with my birds.

    I can understand how disheartening that can be. We all want to be among those getting along okay in life. Sorry to hear you got that shoved in your face, it's a crappy feeling.

    You're right, I do want 2020 to be done with. Christmas will be hard this year with mine being the only state to take the Boxing Day public holiday away. I normally enjoy Christmas to some extent but this time will be thinking about when I have to leave the festivities and go to bed to cope with an early start at work the next day. The icing on the cake there is it's the start of my long stretch which I barely cope with at the best of times. My week-end on, whereby I'm the one in charge and it will be busy as hell. I dread the whole thing.

    We've had a cool change here, too, which is quite pleasant. Is it expected to last a while at your end?

    Yesterday was a social day, which was enjoyable but also exhausting, I would have liked a day between work and socialising. It went well though, and today I am home.

    Kind thoughts and coffee to you. Gentle pats for your loyal companion.

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