Hello Dools

Still here sitting with you. I like StartingNew's flowers. They are beautiful.

Hugs and more hugs. Do you like chocolates?

Hello Dools,

I am wondering how you have been feeling?

I haven't seen your refreshing presence the last little while. I know you've been struggling.

Hope you are treating yourself very gently and being good to yourself.

Love 🌻birdy

Hi Birdy,

I'm back! Or at least I am trying to be back! It has been a rough few days, feeling like I have been broadsided by intense depression that has come out of no where like a tidal wave!

Guess that is part of this illness. I have nothing to be depressed about right now apart from the chemical imbalance of depression!

I did have a lovely laugh yesterday when I went walking after dinner. We have a lot of galahs in our town at present, the bird type of galahs that is. As I walked along one street, the galahs all flew out of the tree I was approaching with ferocious raucousness only to land in the next tree down the street.

As I approached the next tree the same thing happened! After the 5th or 6th tree the galahs decided I wasn't going to climb the tree and attack them so they just squawked at me as I walked under them.

Now, if only I could leave "depression" in a tree, that would be lovely!

Thanks for your care, also to SN and PamelaR.

I've been reading a self help book and watching positivity talks on the computer. Hopefully some of the stuff will stick and work!

Cheers from Dools

Hello Dools,

Its really lovely to see your back, I'm sorry you've been feeling so depressed. No Dools depression doesn't have to have a reason, it just seeks out random victims and torment s them..

I love the story about your walk with the galahs, lol animals, furry or feathered are interesting to watch they constantly amaze me how intelligent they really are..

Dools I hope your self help books and positive thoughts help you..I found a book at my op shop written by Dr Claire Weeks, I bought it because I read a few times that Paul has mentioned her and recommend her books on other threads, as soon a I can settle enough to read it I will.

You are amazing Dools the way your fighting your depression..Well done ✅..

Kind thoughts,

Karen.

Hello Dools

So pleased to have you back!! Was a little concerned there for awhile.

I know what you mean about that tidal wave - no real understanding where it comes from. The chemical in-balance has a lot to answer for. Trying to do the right things like - good sleep, good food, good social times, good friendships is sometimes hard. I must say I feel myself going down when I don't do these things. You'd think I'd learn.

BTW - eat lots of chocolate for Easter (said in jest). Apparently:

Chocolate is known for its ability to increase levels of the calming neurotransmitter serotonin. It also contains small amounts of a compound called phenylethylamine, which stimulates your brain cells to release dopamine.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Hi Karen, PamelaR and All,

Thanks! The book I am reading is called "8 keys to Mental Health through Exercise". The author Christina G. Hibbert writes about the mind, body and spirit including information on my friend "Motivation" self-worth and how everything ties in together.

I'm taking notes as I am reading, there are a lot of questions in the book you can answer about yourself as well for greater awareness. Apparently the "8 Keys to Mental Health" are a series with some other interesting titles.

Yes, the tsunami of depression can hit any time, ready or not! On one of my walks it hit very badly, so I sat in a sort of secluded park and had a good cry then sat there for a while and saw a rabbit! Shame it wasn't the Easter Bunny! This one didn't have any chocolates for me!

Learning new tricks is fine isn't it, the putting them into practice, when the mood is dark is the hardest bit. Maybe when it is so dark, all we can do is float for a while, and then pick the pieces up again after.

A little bit later I will be doing my stretches and going for a walk.

Cheers ladies and All from Dools

Hi Everyone,

I am wondering if there are times when we need to fight our depression and mental health issues and at other times accept and embrace it.

Over time I have tried both and have had various levels of success and failures at trying to deal with my depression.

t is making sense to me that maybe fighting the depression actually makes depression stronger. The more frustrated and angry I become towards it, the more it seems to stand up and attack me. Maybe it is a bit like calling depression The Black Dog.

Usually if we walk around a snarling dog, it won't generally harm us. If I try to approach a snappy dog I may be likely to have my arm ripped off. (Slight exaggeration, but you get the picture!)

When I do try to fight my depression, it can become worse, unless I "fight" it with the attitude of winning over unhelpful habits around depression hat have not assisted me in the past but become a habit.

Today I came across the theory of "FLOURISHING" in all areas of our lives. To make the most of what I do have, to show gratitude, to create new ways of thinking and doing life.

It has taken me a little while to realise I don't have to keep fending off the negativity, even when it is powerful. I can acknowledge it, accept I may not be able to do much about it right then and there, and to tell myself that is okay.

Tears are oaky. Moving on when I am able to do so is excellent. Little bit by little bit.

Have there been times when you have tried to "fight" your depression and feel like you have won or lost? Would you like to share your thoughts here?

Or maybe you are more into "embracing" your depression and living harmoniously with it.

All thoughts and comments are welcome!

Cheers all from Dools

Hello lovely Dools

I was looking for your thread this morning. Do you think I could find it..... Must have been buried.

Just wanted to pop in to see how you are travelling.

Obviously, you've been doing a bit of thinking and researching. Good on you dear Dools.

Not sure about depression fighting and not fighting depression. I think I face with the view - you're here, yuck, how am I going to move on. I hate being depressed. At these times I get annoyed with myself for being down in the dumps. Mainly because I can't do what I want to do - that is achieve stuff. I get so low, I can't do anything. Which kind of snowballs into anxiety because I feel guilty about not doing anything.

Accepting and living with it is very hard for me. I like my happy/positive times and that's where I want to be. Being down is no good, I'm unhappy and make everyone else around me that way too. So I keep putting my hand out to 'tame' the black dog, to settle it, to make friends with it. Not that I want to live with it or accept it. If you can understand that. Does it make sense Dools? I know we are all different and we all deal with things differently. No way is better than another. You have to do what is right for you.

Kind regards

Pammy

Hey to the Dools 😊 and all 😊

I feel like sometimes I embrace it, and that i feel good, but sometimes when I embrace it, I feel like I get too comfortable with it ... and when I get too comfy I feel like that's when maybe I start to spiral down.

But then again, sometimes I embrace it and accept it and that allows me to march onwards, not like a cheery ray of sunshine, but I move forward, accepting this is part of me.

On the days I choose to fight it, sometimes I feel like I win because I defy it and move through my day and achieve! And get things done! And feel good! Other days I try to fight it and I feel dreadful. Cry. Sob. Hate myself. Great fun.

Not sure if this makes sense to anyone.

❤

🌻birdy

Hi Pammy,

I certainly understand you so very well when you say that you don't want to accept your depression and that living with it is very hard. It is hard, it is more than that sometimes, it is totally unbearable. I certainly do understand you!

For me, I have found that wishing I was happy when I am feeling blue and miserable makes me feel worse! I so desire the better place, that I dig myself deeper into depression. It is when I try so hard to not accept it that I become powerless! It has taken me a long time to come to this realisation mind you!

Yesterday afternoon I felt extremely depressed for no reason other than depression came to visit for a while. I read a book. I didn't achieve anything, I had wanted to clean the floor, it didn't happen, but I did manage to read that book! I counted that as an achievement as I did not go to bed and cry and feel totally helpless.

I agree that we all need to find what works for us. Just wondering, when you are having a down time with depression, do you explain that to the people around you? I let my husband know if I am really struggling, makes him realise it is not about him but about my mental health.

Having that thought about wondering how you are going to move on is very powerful! It means you don't want to stay in that dark place!

It is wonderful we can share our experiences here, as we do not know who we may be helping or inspiring to try something different, to make choices, to search for the helpful strategies to assist us all to move on.

Recognising we have depression, realising it is an illness and not something we bring upon ourselves is very important as well. It is there. We can find various ways to deal with it.

Wishing you a day where you can sit comfortably with your depression if it come along today Pammy and hoping you find ways to get through the day with hope and anticipation!

Cheers to you and All reading from Dools

Hi Birdy and All,

What you have written makes a lot of sense, as every moment of the day is different. I am sure there will be times when one lot of actions and strategies works really well, we can try that the next time and get no where!

A bit like me making lasagne! It never turns out the same even though I use the same recipe! Well, I hope you understand what I mean there!

Guess we just have to try different things and see what works. We may have moments and days when nothing seems to be working. That is when we need to try and focus on just getting through that rough time.

This morning I awoke feeling really depressed and miserable. I rolled over in bed and thought I could continue to just stay in bed and be miserable, I could get up and be miserable, or I could go for a walk and possibly still feel miserable but at least achieve something.

So I went for a walk. I was feeling depressed. I looked around me, tried to appreciate what I was seeing, listened for the birds and heard some lambs in the distance. I still felt lousy. I wanted to cry. Was glad to get home. I was also pleased that I had decided to look after myself enough to go for a walk! I had achieved something.

I can think about how depressed I am feeling or I can decide that yes I am depressed, there are still things I can achieve today. I have already proven that by going for a walk when I could have stayed in bed.

I won't be doing much outside today unfortunately as it was already 30 degrees at 8.00 a.m. here! I am so over our never ending summer! Roll on winter!

Hey Birdy and All, wishing you a day where no matter if you fight or embrace your mental health, you feel like a winner and you have achieved something, even if it is getting out of bed and getting dressed.

Cheers all from Dools

Hello Dools (wave to Birdy)

Thank you for your lovely response. You're so right, putting out our ways of 'coping'/'managing' our down times may help others too. Good one.

Just wondering, when you are having a down time with depression, do you explain that to the people around you?

Yes, I talk about it with my husband. Often he is very perceptive and has picked up I'm depressed before I do. As to telling others, well only recently I've started opening up a little to friends. Not explaining why, just that I'm down and don't want to be. They are supportive which is nice. I am selective who I tell though. For instance, I wouldn't tell my brothers or my hubby's siblings. Not that they would not be supportive. They are just not the type of people to talk about 'yourself' like that. Does that make sense?

I always have hope Dools. Hope to wake and to be okay. Wow Dools, I've had an epiphany (a moment of sudden and great revelation or realisation) - I'm never really and truly going to be okay the way I want to be!! So, I now see where you are coming from about acceptance. Oh my. Hmmmmm, you've give me something to work on.

Hugs all around (you too Birdy - I liked your thoughts)

Pammy

A thought to consider:

Your opinion and feelings towards yourself affects the way you see your mental health issues. If you experience feelings of self criticism, negative thinking and feel like you can't cope with your depression, you are going to struggle with any sense of confidence that you can challenge your moods.

Cheers all, from Dools

Thanks Pamela, I am also tired of living life as I have been. I am wanting to change.

Reading self help books and trying to put different ideas into practice is helping.

I need to believe I have the power and strength within me to do what I can to assist myself.

I will be wise each time I attempt to achieve what I can when I can!

Dools, dear friend, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Sending virtual hugs!!

xx Chloe

Hi Chloe,

Thanks for the hugs and warm greetings.

I'm using this current bout of depression as a time to learn to do life differently, so in a way it is a bonus and not all negative!

Like you mentioned in a different thread, I can look at the WHAT IS and not just the What Ifs.

Cheers and thanks from Dools

That's great! I'm glad that advice helped you!

I'm wondering if any of you here have any ideas on what is going on with me at the moment. This morning I was on top of the world, but about an hour ago, within a matter of seconds, I hit rock bottom. I was on a high, and now I'm really depressed.

Any ideas?

Chloe

Hey Chloe,

Unfortunately the highs and lows can hit us so unexpectedly we have no idea where they come from or why. They just happen.

The point is how we cope with this. I have been battling myself all day, up and down like a jolly roller coaster. I ended up going to bed for a while as I was so exhausted. The rest helped a little.

We just need to find what works to help us through those rough times. If you find you have too many downers, than please share your experiences with someone.

It is important to not spiral down too far! Trying to break that cycle is important.

Hope you are feeling a little better now!

Cheers from Dools

I'm feeling much better now, thank you! I went to dance, ever though I was completely uninterested and wasn't up for it, but now I feel really refreshed.

how are you doing?

Hello Dools

Its great to see your thread bouncing all the place :-)

I have always been a big fan of yours...your spirit and the heartfelt way you have helped so many people on the forums for such a long time. You helped me out big time when I started on the forums too and thankyou :-)

Its only my experience with 3 decades of therapy....If we cuddle the black dog the severity of the symptoms will dissipate....Sure it takes determination, time and practice, but fighting can be futile where regaining some peace of mind is concerned

That aside....its always a huge bonus to see your wisdom & TLC on the forums Dools

My Kindest always x

Paul

Hey Paul,

Thanks for the very kind words. Cuddling the Black dog, now there is a whole new thought for me to consider! I wonder if I can sit down and reason with it as well! Or at least reason with myself as to how I am going to approach the current episode of not so pleasantness.

Today I am catching up with a friend who has a whole lot of mental health issues herself as does her husband, who has more than his fair share actually. We are going to be a support to each other , have coffee and a few laughs...the laughing is my plan anyway.

Than I am off to my craft group then have a battering session with the physio, she batters me, I don't batter her. It is very much a one sided pummelling!

hanks again for your support and encouragement Paul. I know how to help myself, it is just when you are in the thick of it sometimes it can be difficult. I do try, some days I am just very tired and out of strength.

Maybe I need to go dancing like Chloe mentioned, or at least dance around the house for a while. My husband might think I have gone bonkers, so I could plan that for when he is at work or go and dance around the trees in the garden.

Cheers to you Paul and to All, from Dools

Hi Chloe,

It is wonderful you were able to get yourself out to go dancing. I know that if I can get myself to do things I will feel better too.

I like your idea of dancing. Many years ago I was in a group that did a bit of dancing as therapy. I was so very unco-ordinated at the time, it was when my chronic fatigue was bad.

It was so funny, everyone else was going left, and my body wanted to go right, they were going forward and I was going backwards. One lady chummed up with me and literally held my arm and dragged me (nicely) in the right direction.

Some days I still couldn't get it right and ended up doing my own thing. We all had such a great laugh, it was a lot of fun.

Dancing. Yes. I must put that on my To Do Soon list!

Cheers Chloe and all from Dools

(writing this in science because I'm done all my work and its super boring...)

Haha, dancing in the garden! Nice one Dools!

I dance around the house, as well as for my 12 hours a week at class. It really distracts me from these depressing feelings. I recently downloaded Duolingo, I am learning German so i can speak to my dad's parents and the rest of his family! It gives me something to do.

Unfortunately, when i called Headspace they were in a meeting. I will call them again this afternoon. When I go I will tell them that I am feeling really depressed, as well as talking about anxiety.

Hope you're doing okay today :)

Chloe

Hello Dools (Welcome Chloe, Wave to Paul)

Ohhh, I love dancing too. Any sort. I used to do demonstration folk and scottish country dancing. Also love disco dancing, ballroom dancing. Anything that gets my body moving..... all good.

Ouch though these days. Hips, knees and feet are not appreciative. Arthritis abounds. However, my head and body truly remembers it all and when music comes on that I danced to, my body just loves it.

Hope you're doing okay today Dools. Let me know if you want to talk.... Here for you.

Kind regards

Pammy

Hi Pammy, Chloe and Everyone Reading,

My husband is off to work after dinner, so I might put some music on and have a little dance around in the house. Outside we have a terrible dust storm happening, so dancing in the garden will have to wait for another day!

Today I have been feeling a bit down and have accepted that and made the most of all the day has had to offer.

I was going to cancel a catch up with a friend, but decided that was just my depression talking, so went to their home and enjoyed her company. She talked for 2 hours, I basically said hello and goodbye, but that was okay! Gave me more time to eat chocolate biscuits. Ha. Ha.

From there my mind told me to just head home, instead I drove to the craft group and enjoyed chatting with the ladies there and managed to do quite a bit of my crochet blanket.

Then it was off to the physio. She was running late and my mind was telling me to get up and run out the door! Oh dear! I managed to keep by button the chair until the physio was free, then she taught me some more exercises that will help my back, hips, neck and shoulders.

This morning I read a comment which went a little like this " You can't teach new things to a mind that is closed". If I had listened to my closed mind this morning I would not have gone out and would not have achieved anything nor had such a lovely day!

So how am I doing? I am doing okay and will have lots of things to write up in my Gratitude Dairy!

I will also be selecting a CD for later!

Cheers ladies and thank you so much for being a part of my encouraging cheer squad!

From Dools

Today I think I both fought my depression and embraced it!

I did not let my depressed mood dictate to me what I was going to achieve today.

I embraced my depression enough o be able to accept it was there, acknowledge what it was trying to tell me, cuddled the darn thing like Paul suggested, then managed to progress to do some nice things today!

Yah! A bit of hard work but all good in the end!

Good on you Dools!

Make sure to plan more catch ups with friends and some nice things for the weekend!

its great that you didn't listen to your mind when it was telling you not to do things. I think I need to work on that. Mind over matter I guess.

make sure you do some dancing later- I just came back from my regular 3 hour lesson and am feeling super refreshed 💃🏽

Have a good night :)

Chloe

Hello Dools, Chloe and everyone,

Dools I really enjoy reading your posts the 2 one up was really inspirational.....Thank you.

I hope you know what a wonderful person you really are..if not well I'm letting you know now..

Kind thoughts,

Karen....Grandy.