Morning Mrs D

im glad you stayed at the pain clinic, pity about the small amount but sometimes smaller is abit better. i hope as time goes on youll be able to learn more things and maybe share some of your own frustrations with the group, im sure many would be able to relate to you and share some tips as well...

its frustrating when pain gets in the way of things and you find yourself having to rest rather then being outside in the garden etc. do you find concentrating on your study helpful when in pain, that can be hard to do to though.

i love the rain too, makes everything look pretty when the sun comes out. its a lovely day here, warm but not hot and clear skies.

hmmm your course superviser seems to be rather slack i must say, are you able to contact someone else for help and enquires at all? maybe try calling them a few times in one day, surley they are able to answer or at least return your calll.

theres a thread here called 'Eep when studying is overwhelming- Tips, Tricks....(um ive forgotten the rest of title) but that might help you with some study tips and your anxiety? remember though to take a few deep breathes, helps clear the mind abit.

hope you have a good (if not better) day :)

Hi Startingnew,

I will see if I can find that thread you mentioned as I am really disliking study, it makes my anxiety increase and I become really depressed and angry as well.

I do realise part of my issue is that computers frustrate me incredibly as I just don't understand how to use them adequately. The course I am doing is all online. I forget how to open new tabs and loose the work I was already doing.

There is supposed to be a HELP mechanism that will connect me via email (or something), but when I go to find that, I can never get the choices that provides me to line up with the work I am actually trying to do. It is a bit like when you make a phone call and you have to push 1,2, 3 6 or what ever, only nothing seems to coincide with what I am working on.

I have tried to discuss this with the employment lady who organised this course...only for the last 4 appointments booked with her she has not been available and I have had to relay this information onto other people in the office. Still waiting for a call back from 2 weeks ago from the employment lady.

I'm getting frustrated by the whole process! Does not help my depression or anxiety and I need to work on my anger management skills! When I am studying they are non existent! I am like a lion with a sore tooth! The study does not finish until October!

Maybe I will chat to the psych about this next week.

Cheers SN and All from Dools

Hi Mrs D

often in libraries they have computer classes- do you think that might be a good option? or do you have someone tech savy that could teach you the basic so your not so frustrated?

maybe dont use the HELP function, just email the tafe/uni/other itself and ask for help that way and explain youve tried to contact them several times but no responses.

is there anyone around you that could help you with the work? someone doing the course or has done the course- often you can find tutors through facebook/study support groups.

it sounds rather frustrating and much harder than it ought to be so i hope your able to work something out and quickly. if only you could share abit more here re study- maybe someone would be able to help you that way..

i hope todays been ok for you

Hi Startingnew,

Thanks for all your advice, the course I am doing does not have an email, only the online HELP or phone line. I really need to work on my coping skills when it comes to the study and computers. I have done a few courses, my brain just does not retain the information I have learnt.

I look at the notes and training manuals and my mind shuts down. Nothing seems to click so then I go into panic mode. It is like being allergic to computers or something! This old dog has trouble learning new tricks! Ha. Ha. I keep forgetting what I have learnt. I read it then my mind goes blank.

Yesterday I ended up going for a walk, did some washing, washed the windows, swept and cleaned up the front porch than read a book for quite a while.

I am supposed to be having an appointment with the Employment lady this week, I will see if she can help me find a better way to contact the course group. If she is not there I will have to get one of the other staff to help me.

Maybe it is also just another case of feeling like I am banging my head against a brick wall and am not getting anywhere trying to receive help and assistance!

I should be thankful I have the opportunity to do some study and the Government is paying for it...but right now I am not. It frustrates the heck out of me. Hubby could help and does quite often, but like he says, it is not his responsibility. When I am angry and frustrated I am not a nice person to be around either! Ha. Ha.

Thanks SN. We don't have any kids to ask for help with computer stuff either.

Cheers from Dools

Always listening Doolsy

Sounds frustrating, they should be accessible for you.

When you go into panic mode Doolsy try nice slow deep breathing in and out and focus on relaxing, it puts walls up when we go there and to learn they need to be down. You can do this Doolsy I have faith in you.

Pulled a heart string when you said sometimes your whole body aches so badly you poor thing and yet you persevere

Inspiration to many

Hope your days better 🤗

hi to everyone too ☺

Hello Dools,

I am sitting on my front verandah enjoying the warmth of the sun warming my tired body.... I'm just sitting here, Ive read your post and you sound so disheartened with yourself. Please dont, you might not know computers now, but in time you will.

Dools, I'm watching some hornets, they are flying around and landing on my frangipani tree, maybe there building a nest ..but no matter what they are doing they are doing it happily.

There is this fly..it's really annoying me..it keeps landing on me, then I'll wiggle my toes to make it move, next it lands on my shin. I move my leg to make it move..lol I'm to much enjoying the sun to move, the little fly continues to land on me..Geez it just keeps doing the same thing lands on me I move to move it off me...This little fly doesn't give up and move elsewhere, This little fly is just so persistent just constantly landing on my toes or shin.

Do yo think the fly knows it won't win? Why doesn't it give up on me and land on my dogs ?. Do you think that their might be something on my toe that it wants really badly? im not sure but this time I let it stay there....It's just sitting there...oh my goodness Ouchy..it bit me....then it flew away..it's been 5 minutes since it bit me...it hasn't come back..geez..the itch... that tiny little fly..was really persistent it kept at it and at it until finally he got its reward...lol me.

Dools I think we should be like the fly, we just keep at it, keep learning and reading and in the end we should get our rewards..which is the knowledge we learned in the end by being like that little fly and so persistent.

Im rambling I know, but the fly did just bite me..and it took a couple of minutes to read about my fly bite, which is 2 minutes rest from depressive thoughts.

Breathe,in....out....breathe...in.....out...counting...rest...relax take time to sit and wonder about nature, watch the little insects busily getting ready for winter..The little birds..bathing and drinking from the birdbath...I often wonder do wild animals or insects suffer from depression..I know dogs and cats do..have they picked depression up from us.

Nature is a gift to us.. to me Nature is beautiful so..let's enjoy the amazing gift of nature and ground ourself with it by sitting outside and watching, feeling, listening, smelling while drinking a beverage that you enjoy. The perfect grounding tool.

Take care of yourself Dools, look after yourself...that goes for everyone.. hugs for who wants 🤗🤗🤗

Grandy x..

HI Mrs D


oh that is strange, all tafes etc should have an email so im not sure why thats not the same for yours.
Are you the note taking type of person? I find summarising things into dot points helpful and also palm card quizzes- e.g question on the front- answer on the back. Having different ways to to study can help keep us motivated too, rather than just reading the material.
I hope you can find something that works for you soon, it might help ease that frustration.


Yesterday sounds like a productive day. What book are you reading atm?


The frustration of finding and getting the right assitance can be horrid and so draining! I really bloody hope someone helps you soon with your coursework and employment things. Are you able to request a new employment worker at all?


You dont need to have kids to ask for help, another family member might do or perhaps enquire at your local library or community centre to see if they offer some lessons- often they are free or rather cheap too.


I hope todays been a good day for you. We have had some loveley weather here but have been busy cleaning up inside to help mum with a function shes holding at her house tonight but might go for a walk this arvo.

Hi Lovely Ladies and All Reading,

This morning I attended Church and that went well. Occasionally I do the Notices in Church. After the service, one man came up and told me I had made too many jokes while reading the notices. If you can't be happy in a Church and have some joy, why bother going!

My husband's parents came and joined us for lunch. It is my Father in Laws Birthday. We gave him one of my crotched blankets. He said he liked it and asked if ZI would mind if his cat slept on it with him. I told him that would be lovely if the cat curled up on his lap.

The book I am reading is a novel based in a small country town in W.A. Makes a change from self help books.

Yes, I do make copious notes when I am studying. The course I am doing is with a group other than TAFE. I'm not sure if I should mention them. I am half feeling like they are Big Brother in a way as the Employment lady has access to everything I send in.

Due to the way it is set up, apparently any future employer also has access to everything I write and communicate with the organisation. As part of the course I am to do 120 hours of work experience as well, so the place that accepts me can read every word I have written if they so desire.

I'm not sure what the weather is doing here tomorrow, if it is sunny I will spend a little time in the garden. I hope to do some house work and have one of those lovely mammograms booked for the afternoon. Pancakes anyone?

In the evening I am going to attend a Pilates class for beginners that the physio runs in a town close to us. So a full day of different activities to keep me busy!

Thanks DB, Grandy and SN.

Cheers all from Dools

Pleasure being in your company Doolsy

Some people need to complain dah hard to win sometimes

😂 😂 😂 Pancakes anyone oh that got me you're a classic

I've heard good things about pilates hope you enjoy that Doolsy, just go at your own pace.

Was wondering if it might be easier physically for you to be an OT assistant to elderly Doolsy. I think OT does a lot different now but they use to do light excercises, games, music etc

Take good care huns ☺🤗

Hi Dools,

yes my mum is coming with me, what do I do if the doctor asks about self harm, my mum can't know about that.

it really depends on how im feeling as to how I wear my hair. It's long enough to braid but whenever I braid it, it is time consuming and my inner critic always tells me how bad it is even though they are neat. It's a bit exhausting. I usually just tie it up in a ponytail but I like wearing it out as I can play with it while I write, it calms me down.

This might sound weird but I always have the urge to grab a chunk of hair and twirl it around my fingers, then I stick it in my ear. I've been doing it since I was 2, my parents have always told me to stop but I can't. Do you have any idea why I do this?

Have a good day

Chloe 😄

Hi DB and All,

Hey DB regarding the pancakes, at least the pain is only temporary!

Being an OT would be lovely, these days I think you need plenty of training for that and you know how much I love study...NOT! Ha. Ha. At one stage people were called "Life Style Coaches" as well, I don't know if that is still a term that is used.

I'm hoping the Employment lady will help me find something suitable. The study seems to incorporate doing evaluations on people as well to aid them in gaining the appropriate services. Doing that kind of work would certainly be okay for my back. I need to look into what might be available.

The Pilates class will be interesting. Hopefully my fibromyalgia won't play up on my muscles and joints too much and I will be able to participate in all the exercises. At least the class is being run by a physio so she will be able to help me do things correctly.

Do you remember the fitness fashions of the 80's! Those really bright tights or leggings with your underwear on the outside! Ha. Ha. I don't think I will going dressed like that tonight.

Thanks for the chirpy post DB!

Cheers all from Dools

Sounds promising having a physio with the pilates yikes fibromyalgias a hard one have some family members with it poor things all of you, hope you manage ok remember just what you can manage don't overdo it lovey.

Haha yeah no thrill the pancakes are they lol

Yes that'd be good if you can get something not affecting your back. When you're frustrated with study maybe as well as breathing you could walk away for a few minutes to settle then go back. Good on you having a go

Hope your days good ☺

I've got bits on most of the wk so that'll keep me outta trouble hopefully 😊

Best always wished for you 🤗

Hi Chloe,

Regarding the self harming, guess you have a few options, allow the Dr to ask that question while your Mum is present so she knows all that is going with you, she may freak, but may then want to try to help you and be understanding and supportive.

You could hand the Dr a note when you first walk in, explaining that you self harm, but don't want your Mum to know. You could ask your Mum to leave the room so you can talk to the Dr about this between the two of you maybe towards the end of the appointment.

Regarding the hair in the ear, I'm not really sure about that, as you have been doing it since you were small, I guess it has just become a habit. For some reason you may have found it to be a very soothing activity to do and you just keep doing it.

Maybe you could try rubbing the hair on your neck and not in your ear!

People do all kinds of different things to sooth themselves. Hopefully you can come up with something that still helps and doesn't upset your parents! You could be doing a lot worse!

Hope your day is going okay. I am keeping myself busy, have also been for a walk and done some stretches, now to make lunch and do a mountain of ironing! Than off for a lovely Mammogram! That will be a bit of fun! Not! Ha. Ha.

Cheers for now Chloe, from Dools

Hi Mrs D

i really hope you can find something that works for you with your studies and your employment lady. all the best with those. it sounds incredibly frsutrating.

pilates sounds good and with a physio too. i hope your aches and pains stay away so you can give it ago.

hugs xoxox

Hi Dools

So basically dr and mum discussed who would be the right psych to send me too. Then mum left and me and the dr talked about what's been going on. So I mentioned self harm, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, feeling numb, constant anxiety etc.

he gave me a mental health plan and in the diagnosis bit he wrote anxiety and depression, but the psych will make a 'proper' diagnosis when I see her.

Quite happy with the appt, mum is making an appt with the psych soon.

Have a good day and thank you for your concern 💖

Chloe

Hi Startingnew,

I will keep plodding on with the study. I will chat to the psyche about it today and the Employment lady on Thursday. The course people did not phone back yesterday. I could have called them again, but have found in the past they just have a recorded message and don't call back so felt self defeated and didn't bother.

The Pilates class went well. It was a group of 6 so the physio had amble opportunity to come around and check we were all doing the exercises correctly. I need to work on my balance, I will try a few stretches at home and see how that goes.

I'm planning on cleaning up a bit in the garden today. We have friends staying next week, so will be nice to have the garden looking a little nicer. Looks like pleasant weather out there as well.

Hope you have a good day, cheers All from Dools

Hi Mrs D

i hope someone can help you out. its not very fair on you that no one seems to be returning your calls.

good luck with your psych appt today. some self care might be good after that.

im glad pilates went well too, a small group can be good as they can help you a little more and make it abit personalised. did the physio give you some exercises to try at home?

spending some time out in the garden sounds great esp if the weather is nice too.

have a good (if not better day) xox

Hi Chloe,

Sounds like the Drs appointment went well. I like the way your Mum gave you some space and the Dr gave you an opportunity to talk openly. That is an excellent outcome!

Hopefully you will have an appointment made soon. You can also ask to be put on a list if there is a cancelation, that happens sometimes.

When you find information that is helpful to you, you might like to share that with your Mum so she knows more of what is happening for you.

I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder as does a niece. I was able to share a book with my sister on BPD and she was better able to understand her daughter. Experiencing an illness, we have an idea what it is like even though it can confuse us, so I try to imagine what it is like for someone who doesn't suffer from it at all.

Hope you have a good day! I've been doing some stretches and am about to head out into the garden then have my psych appointment this afternoon.

Cheers from Dools

Good Morning Everyone,

Not having such a fun start to the day so need to remind myself that I have a choice to allow myself to take on my depression or I can accept it for what it is and try to make the most of today regardless of feeling lousy!

Hope you are all able to find ways to accept your depression and mental health issues when they are present and to find ways to work through your day!

Cheers all from Dools

Hi Mrs D

I hope you can find ways to improve your day.

Sending hugs and positive vibes your way xoxo

Hello Dools,

Im sorry your day started out not so good, I hope that it improves later on..

Dools, not sure what your day is like today, but mine is. Icey winds, and overcast...

I think the part of Australia I'm living is, I think the weather is feeling depression as well...no sun, no birds, looks dull the day just looks and feels sad...But maybe later today, tomorrow or the day day..the depression will leave and the day will shine and the day will be bright and happy again soon.💜

Sending you positive energy and some hugs 🤗🤗. With a special little 🌹. to pin on your dress 👗..

Care for you, Grandy..

Hi,

I'd say fight it, Depression just allows you to hide your pain and I think everyone suffering (including me) needs that sort of healing, I just wish i had the courage to do the same, sometimes Depression just takes you completely and want to hide behind the mask just to protect yourself, I wish you luck in the future journey to come

Hi Rubyredgirl, SN, Grandy and All,

Thanks for your messages. Yesterday was one of those days where depression was there to stay like it or not, so I tried to work through it, accept it and get on with my day no matter how dark it felt.

My day wafted around tears, anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, sadness and a whole bunch of other emotions and ridiculous bombarding thoughts that needed acknowledgement for being unhelpful so I could move on.

I cleaned the house, I washed the windows, vacuumed the car, sat out in the garden, read for a while, washed the dishes, did the ironing, watched some T.V. mindlessly and in the evening we were invited to friend's for dinner along with another couple we had never met before and had a lovely evening.

I'm thinking that deep down I was frustrated with things I have asked my husband to help me with but the jobs never seem to happen and I can't do them by myself and don't have the money to pay someone to help me.

I'm sure part of me is feeling grief as well due to Mother's Day.

This afternoon I will make time to write out how I am feeling, do some CBT and consider different options and ideas.

Next week we have a friend of my husband's staying with us and I have never met the guy before so it will be interesting getting to know him.

The course I am studying on line has indicated I have 80 hours of study to complete next week. How is that even possible?

Right. So I need to spend a little time working out how to deal with all of these issues to help manage, reduce and work through my depression and anxiety!

Cheers all from Dools

Hi Rubyredgirl,

Thanks for your comments. The pain of depression can be exhausting, all consuming and difficult to break through sometimes.

My psychologist is trying to help me to just accept it so the sting of depression is not so intense. That works sometimes, other days it is harder to do.

Maybe there are some days when we just don't have the strength to fight depression, accepting it is easier. Or we can use the "fight" to try and make the day better. In a way it depends on how we look at the word "fight" as it can have various meanings.

Wishing you well also on your journey!

Cheers from Dools

Hello Dools,

It seems we had the same ideas today, I done a thorough house clean as well, I needed to keep busy as my tears, and a few no healthy feelings directed at me made me keep busy today..it worked. I'm exhausted now, but okay as well..

80 hours study in a week, that's ridiculous, I think that's impossible that's 16 hours per day study to finish on Friday...impossible ..

I hope your husbands friends turn out to be okay and doesn't make to much extra work for you to do..

Accepting depression is still something I'm learning to do. Im finding it hard to do that, but am trying to.

Wishing you much light in you up coming days..xx

Grandy..

Dear Doolsy friend and other good people 😊

Sorry to hear you're continuing to have such a rough time I've said before and mean when I say I'm in awe of how you find the positives, humour and help so many amidst many more great qualities while suffering so much mental and physical pain.It's an absolute pleasure getting to know you 🌹

I was wondering if some allowances can be made with that insane amount of study needed that's bloody ridiculous due to your physical and MH. If not I imagine there'd be a way of getting around that especially with more understanding of MH these days.

Hope you're still doing your pillates and getting benefit from, research has been same for yrs we need to keep using our poor bodies to avoid seizing up, keeping our machines oiled 😄

Hope tickers doing the right ticking and your back health and body being kind to you and that you're still pulling up in the garden before you suffer too much more. Good you have peace in gardening it's very popular. I'd like to see more raised garden beds for people with physical ailments esp back problems that last I heard about 65% of peeps have back issues and that was yrs ago, might improve in time with lifting machines in nursing (trouble is they're more time consuming but very needed esp one of the places I nursed and loved was Palliative care even then with all the gizmos still tremendously heavy lifting involved and in industrial work

Must away I'm unwell with a migraine and its now 5am woke at 3.30am.

Always want good for you Doolsy lovely 🤗

Hi Mrs D

I really hope today is a better day for you. 80hrs is near on impossible. just do what you can manage and keep catching up as you can. youve also been at the disadantage of having little/no help and your study centre doesnt return your calls.

Hugs xox

Hi Everyone,

So I called the Employment Lady to ask if she can call the study place to ask them to release some of the study work today so I will not be hit with impossible task on Thursday.

I explained we were going away for the weekend, that had been booked a year ago and I will not have access to the internet. She told me I can catch up when I get back, plus start the next weeks work on schedule.

Hey I will be turning into Super Woman real soon! I will be able to do a proposed 80 hours of study in two days! Oh yes! I have got this! Piece of cake! What was I stressing over?

Regarding my husband's friend. He seems nice enough. They have gone out for the day and didn't invite me to join them! Oh well. Guess I don't need to prepare them any lunch!

I've cried a bucket load of tears of frustration due to the study issue. Time to wipe my eyes and get on with my day.

Hey DB, the Dr. has asked me to keep an eye on my blood pressure as it has been a bit too high lately. I might check that later on after I have calmed down a bit!

Cheers all from Dools

Gees Dools. They don't expect much hey?

80 hrs of study in 2 days. Hummmmf is all I can say. Then to top that off, not even asked out. You are having a day of it.

So what are the positive she asks, with tongue in cheek? Well, you may just have to fail this week's study and go out for lunch yourself with a friend (although that might be a little difficult at this late stage).

You know when I was studying, it brought out the worst in me. I was frequently stressed to the max. I was always never doing good enough - yeah, they asked me to do honours. Obviously I wasn't doing very well at all LOL. BTW asking to do honours actually means you've been performing quite well. But who was I to believe anyone else other than myself. If I told me I was doing poorly, then poorly I was doing. Getting a credit or a distinction wasn't good enough, it had to be a high distinction.

Wow, and we wonder why we have anxiety. I can laugh about it now, but back then it was horrendous.

Holding your hand Dools. I know you're not in a good space at the moment. Just trying to put a little humour in your life. Not sure I'm succeeding though.

I love your posts. So keep them coming - when you can. And for yourself at the moment. Don't worry about anyone else at the moment. Focus on you....

Be gentle and kind to yourself.

Care always

PamelaR

Hi PamelaR,

Thanks. I started this course beginning of March and have still not had anything marked. With this study, all you get is a passed or not passed result at the end plus I need to do 120 hours of practical...all in one week! Ha. Ha. At least that isn't true as far as I know!

Congratulations on receiving the marks you were able to achieve. At present I don't know if I have any expectations anymore as no one seems to give a hoot enough to mark anything!

I'm going to "chat" with a few people here on the forum, have some lunch and then go for a walk. It is a beautiful day here so I will spend some time in the garden as well.

Thanks for the cheer up, from Dools