It is definitely a hard thing to do, especially when you feel like you are constantly going back. Sometimes you do keep standing up and going forward, but after a while you kind of wonder why.
I do enjoy my alone time, sometimes. The thing is, I've often been alone for too long, if that makes sense. Even when I used to go to parties or be in crowds, I was always the odd one out, so I felt lonely even though I was surrounded. When I was with my ex, that was the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I had her, I had a good group of friends from work. I was finally starting to find a group to fit in with, and I was enjoying that. I still have my group of work friends, but I also realised that still, sometimes being with them, you feel alone because they all are always with their partners or talk about their partners and planning things with their partners, or are not always free to hang out or do things etc etc.
Don't get me wrong, there are times I enjoy just being by myself like binge watching a series, but I don't want that all the time. That is what I have the gym for, or golf for, or my tv shows. So I think I just want that balance with it now. I've never not been alone. I read a quote which resonated with me.
"Loneliness isn't the physical absence of other people - it's the sense that you're not sharing anything that matters with anyone else. If you have lots of people around you - perhaps even a husband or a wife, or a family, or a busy workplace - but you don't share anything that matter with them, then you'll still be lonely"
I hope that doesn't come across negative or anything like that. It's just something that resonated with me and when you asked that question, I thought it was so apt that I read that quote just two days ago.