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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Relationship worries (from a person who worries a lot!)...is he losing interest?

Topic: Relationship worries (from a person who worries a lot!)...is he losing interest?

  1. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    17 February 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Oh yeah much prefer the non-budget airlines! Well for me, the issue of space was ok on Scoot (definitely better than Tiger), as being short I found the legroom not an issue. But the no free food thing bugs me :P Luckily on the way back I had some Singapore $$$ that probably wouldn't have been enough to change for Aussie $$$, so I could afford some snacks and drinks. I've never flown Cathay Pacific, but they're on my radar! Thing is when I book for somewhere in Europe/US, Qatar from Perth seems to be the cheapest at the time (Etihad usually have pretty cheap flights). Plus they (Qatar) are really attentive and just have overall great service. Also, transit wait times are usually short (3 hrs max).

    Ooh South Korea sounds nice! Another one on my never ending list haha. I know how you feel, i'm the same- can't go a year without travel! After all...they say it's one of the best educations :P I can imagine what you mean about Singapore, it's like me travelling to Melbourne or Sydney for relatives....in fact the last time I went to Sydney I wondered why I was initially so excited to see it again after years lol...the best bit was actually catching the train to the Blue Mountains.

    My prep is going ok, it's hard of course (not to be short of breath quickly!), but i'm slowly feeling stronger (like if I really push myself I can manage 7 push-ups.....I need to do 10 minimum!). Running is the worst though :P Hope it gets easier (or just feel less like an asthma attack haha). I'm hoping i'll pass the first attempt!

    Aww sucks he's still not back! I can imagine the anxious feelings waiting! At least you have things to keep you busy. What is it with guys not wanting to text? Haha...seems to be a thing (although my brother and his gf seems the roles are reversed....he can't seem to stop gushing about her on instagram :D he's more like a woman haha).

    Hopefully your bf won't want to disappoint you and go to the ball! (or better, just want to go anyway!).

    Olivia

  2. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    17 February 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    Yes no free food alright but I guess that is what budget is about. I sneak in food sometimes. Airplane food aren't the best always. I think Emirates and Cathay had the best ones. You probably fly Cathay when you go to Hong Kong or passing through it. I flew it once and enjoyed it. The tough part was the LONG transit. HK 10 hours each way, I stayed within the airport though as HK has quite a bit to do. But I believe to Korea you are looking at couple hours which is good.

    Just ease yourself into it. Push yourself a little more each day and you will get there. You be fine. I hate running but I do alot of it at tennis alright.

    Haha. I think each guy is different. I can't say I am the best as well. We get so busy that we read then forget. I found guys around my age don't reply as quickly as those around my younger brothers' age. Think it is the generation. I grew up not having a phone or mobile til I was in uni. Back when I was in high school it was those pagers we had. I can see though why my bf doesn't message if he is entertaining friends. When he does a task or in a conversation his focus is on that ONE task/thing...and nothing else. It is frustrating when am trying get a hold of him but when he is with me his focus is on me and us alone.

    Yes I do hope so! It is the one rare occasion I see him all suited up ;)

    Anony

  3. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    21 February 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Yes long transit times suck! I wonder how HK airport compares to Singapore? An excuse to visit Hong Kong sometime this year? :P haha....any excuse to travel.

    I'm trying to push myself (my cold which has gone to my chest is a bit of a hinderance at the moment!), at first when I start each session I find myself puffing a lot, but did have a bit of a breakthrough when the second time around the oval started to get over the feeling. Plus, when I try push-ups at the beginning of each session, I can barely do 3, but by the end it seems easier to churn out 8-10 (i'm aiming for 15 to be on the safe side for the test).

    Yeah the texting thing seems to be common, i'll admit i'm the same when it comes to my younger sister (but to be honest....she texts and 'facebook mentions' an awful lot in one day, impossible to keep up).

    It's great that the time you and your bf spend together is quality and you give each other all your attention :) And yes, suited up is great :) Makes a man look really sharp!

    Olivia

  4. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    22 February 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    How are you and how is the training?

    I haven't had a good past few days, particularly last night and right now. My aunt collapsed with bleeding in brain and today they pulled the plug. Immense anxious feeling in my chest. My bf was nice to suggest maybe meet me in Singapore which gave me that slight push to consider going for the funeral but disappointingly Mum said not to worry to go over so it means won't see him. It is making me feel somewhat guilty that I'm being selfish that although I would like to go to Singapore for the funeral and am really upset about my aunt. part of me is also upset that Mum didn't say "yeah come over" and so I could see him. I feel like a terrible person right now =(

    I texted him to tell him what my Mum said and that will see him when he gets back. But a huge part of me is hoping that he got some hint that "can you please return this weekend?" but of course I don't want him to cut his trip short. It would also make me feel guilty. Did ask if it would be ok to skype, facetime or even call. So will see what he says.

    Hope you are doing well x

    Anony

  5. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    23 February 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Oh no! Sorry to hear that! I can imagine you'd be feeling anxious! And yes I know what you mean, like it was really nice of your boyfriend asking you to come, but maybe may have made you feel a bit sad your mum telling you not to bother! I mean it's your aunt, you have a right to want to be there for your family! But I would be the same way, in fact I am! My dad had a minor heart attack two days ago, so he's been in hospital (but ok now, didn't need bypass surgery, just stents..stints? put in). So my older sister being the drama queen she is...flew over from Melbourne, and in a way dictated the level of worry we all had to feel (like I could sense her gauging my reactions/how I was around our dad in hospital).

    See when people in my family are ill, I don't tend to feel a spot of worry at all! Only if it's myself (selfish?). I just can't....fake caring. Kind of more like...people falling ill is a nuisance because I have to pretend and show I care??!

    So yes I know it's different, but I can understand feeling like the way you feel might seem selfish, but what can we do? Go around faking it all the time!? Not for me :( To be honest I don't know what i'll do one day if something really terrible happens to a family member- I feel like my mum is the only person i'd really grieve! Everyone else.....I guess it wouldn't make life harder for me?

    I've heard though that this is common for us anxious folk, it's our way of having some control and keeping things at arms length (well I think so for myself).

    Well I hope you're feeling ok. Hope your boyfriend comes home soon!!!

    Olivia :)

  6. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    24 February 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    Oh am sorry to hear that but am glad he is ok. Yes a steint. I had to research what that is as they were thinking of putting it in my aunt's brain. However, after scans they said they could not operate. There isn't anything wrong with feeling that way. It is good in that sense. I think my Mum is that way however she also a staunch Christian and has a strong faith of whatever God has planned for us - then so be it. I have the opposite problem where I worry alot and I empathise too much and things affect me in a bigger context at times.

    I am feeling a bit better but of course missing my bf and also kinda up and down. My aunt's funeral was today and she would be cremated by now. Trying to work away. Work is super busy which is good in that sense. Do hope my bf does come home really soon and more importantly does not disappoint and returns for my work ball. Just paid for him.

    Hope you are going well and the training as well! It is a hot one in Perth today so sunblock up OR just stay under the fan/air-con. haha

    Anony

  7. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    24 February 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Oh yes the steint- it's the first time i'd ever heard of it (didn't even realise what bypass surgery really was until now either). Yes I guess your mum and I are the same, maybe people like us have trouble being open in many ways. We do care, it's just we prefer not to show it so much as a more extroverted person would.

    It will be nice to finally see your bf when he returns! Hopefully the time apart will make it even better to see each other again!

    And yes quite a hot one today (but worse tomorrow apparently- 39!). Training was a little better today, I don't know how but I went around the oval twice in a row (about 5-7 mins run?) and didn't puff nearly as much as the past weeks (a slight improvement I guess?) and pushups were a bit easier.

    Olivia

  8. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    26 February 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    Yeah i researched it when my aunt was told she may go into brain surgery to have that. But of course given she was inoperable they didn't end up doing that. My mum is very open - too open hence why I do not tell her about things. The moment I tell her about my life her friends and my family will know. But she doesn't worry too much or that at least her sister didn't suffer. I think if it were her older sister then it may be different reaction given how close they were.

    It will finally be good alright. I just hope he doesn't book a flight to land on the day itself. He has a tendency sometimes to do that. And if his flight gets delayed oh man that would be devastating (again it has happened before!) Am hoping can talk to him today over the phone at least and then try request if he could get a flight a couple days earlier just in case. It makes me really anxious if he were to book it for the day of ball itself.

    That is great! Keep persevering. One step at the time. Also monitor the foods you eat as it can determine that if you were to eat, say banana, it gives you better energy or performance than say you ate a pear. If you keep taking one step at a time you will improve overtime.

    Anony

  9. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    27 February 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Well at least with my dad other than his heart he's healthy and not overweight, so probably made steints a better option. Although he has to take a lot of pills! I think I may have to be his taxi for the next week :P He has to have a stress test before he's allowed to drive again (which could be a problem as his job is minesite bus driver!).

    Tell you what....the switch to healthier eating is hard work :P I have to actually bother to cook something every night haha. But i'm hoping it will help my fitness! Plus, another issue i've had since early 20's....this feeling of excessive daytime sleepiness. I keep forgetting to ask my doc about it. I thought maybe it was my low vitamin D or Iron, but i've been on tablets for those, and the doc says they're normal level now. Only other thing to ask is maybe long term mild depression/anxiety could be the cause? I'm also worried about sleep apnea...that's what dad (and my aunt) have had for 20+ years (and docs say possibly one cause of his heart attack). I don't snore though, so hoping it's not that...But the last month i've been a lot sleepier than usual, could it be from the new exercise routine? It could also be some food problems, I mean my sister has this, and has to be on a low 'FODMAP' diet (so many things she can't eat!!!) but she says she's had much more energy since being on the diet! Could I be the same way??? I really hope I don't have sleep apnea :(

    Hopefully your bf will book the flight a day or so before the ball! So you can prepare your outfits haha :D ;) I can imagine the anxiety and stress of trying to get someone else prepared for something like that! If you're like me....being early and prepared is extremely important! haha

    And oh yeah....my mum's an oversharer too :P Told my sister when I was here all about my health haha.

    Olivia.

  10. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    27 February 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    That does not sound like fun - the taking alot of pills not so much the driving. it would be good to spend time with your dad. I wish my dad was still around to spend time with him.

    Switching to healthier is definitely hard. I am so bad at it given that I love my sweets way too much. Definitely ask your doctor next time about it. Hopefully you don't have sleep apnea and it will just be manageable eating the right foods....whatever it ends up being.

    We shall see about him. Just sent him a really really long whatsapp cause he didn't let me know if he wasn't able to talk to me yesterday in the end. I really do not enjoy doing so given he is on a holiday but it had to be done. Though it was more like I was frustrated at you and this is why etc. And then i asked about the ball. It was a I'm angry but also not message. Will see if he responds at all.

  11. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    1 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Yes the diet thing is hard, I love my sweets too! And well with my dad, we at home can only do so much to guide him on eating right. Unfortunately, his regular doctor said yesterday "oh it's probably genetics rather than diet that caused your heart attack" (because his dad and granddad both died from heart attacks). So he's taken this as a reason to not bother changing his diet (in his mind he eats fine.....but from what i've seen over the years this really isn't the case! I mean two meat pies in one sitting? And then some chips later in the day? several times a week I might add!).

    But i'm definitely trying to eat healthier myself, and it's going quite well (i'm also starting to feel I have stronger stomach muscles from the small amount of exercise i've been doing).

    Must be irritating right now with your bf! I guess it's easy to send snappy/angry messages rather than what you might say in person. The anxiety too of worrying about them! Fair enough though if you guys made the commitment about the ball, he agreed etc....he should want to do things with you/for you! Ahhh....relationships seem so complicated :P XD

  12. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    1 March 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    It is good you are changing what you eat. With your dad, guess you can try to get him to think about eating healthier but if he doesn't there is nothing much more you can do.

    Well i would rather chat in person but when he is away the only way is by text especially given I get annoyed then I am ok within the next day and forget. I sent him a text again yesterday. This time he did respond. Basically had a rant. Not at me but about his holiday or lack thereof as he been dealing with issues (won't go into it) hence why he didn't reply. He did say that he is spending a bit of money to return to the ball for me and might be heading off somewhere again. Try to get a proper holiday. Think he struggles with that cause he can't let go of the responsibilities he has here so he has a good holiday initially and then it gets ruined. Not sure if he thought his sentence about spending lots money to come back to my ball was a bit harsh as within the minute he said not to get him wrong, he does miss me alot and is looking forward to seeing me just that currently he is super stressed. It is a change alright from 6 mths ago where he use to have a rant AT me and appeared to take it out on me. Now it is a rant of frustration. Same emotions but different approach or impact towards me....if that makes sense. Still do hope the boy isn't coming back on day of ball! But if he is hope there is no delay and he makes it back in time.

    On a separate note I just booked flights to Seoul. End of June to begin July. So excited!

  13. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    2 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Glad you and your boyfriend were able to come to an understanding! I guess stress can cause a lot of worry/anxiety/tension. It's normal really to take it out on others, or say things in the heat of the moment (I know I do!). Sounds like he needs an uninterrupted holiday next time! I guess that's what you want out of a holiday (or why you have one to begin with!). It must be a relief that you guys have sorted it all out, and yes hopefully he'll be home for the ball earlier!!!

    Woohoo! You must be excited :D It's not far away, already March (geez....a quarter into the year!). You'll have to give me all the details when you return! So I can plan my trip there haha :P It looks like a really cool place!

    And in good news....I went in to work today, and while I was on checkout the assistant manager came up to me and said 'I hear you're looking for more hours?' and asked if I was interested in working in the Deli department (starting tomorrow!) so of course I said yes :D More hours woohoo!! With that extra money plus Austudy for uni, I should have enough to live off haha (and finally move out of home! And to be honest...checkout is kind of the most boring department :P So it will be good to learn new tasks/skills. Then I will still have the option of Police waiting for me (it will take 6-18 months, depending on if I pass the next two tests or not! either way...always possible).

  14. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    3 March 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    Yes it was good and given his attitude or what he says when he is frustrated now has been such an improvement. Unfortunately he can never have an uninterrupted holiday. The only way is to disappear - no phones no nothing I say!

    Very excited. Alot of people are so shocked I am going on my own. But I think sometimes going by yourself is fun as you don't have to accommodate other people's interest. Sounds a bit selfish but you have to be if you are holidaying right? The main thing is cause alot of my friends are either married with kids or they don't have money. So if I wait for the right time that suits them I will never travel as much. Been travelling on my own before a no of times and cause am quite outgoing, tend to easily make new friends as well. Will definitely tell you details =)

    Congrats! Great news about more shifts. Definitely helps when you have some more cash. Definitely carry on working on the Police path since that is what you want to be. Or eventually be.

    Long weekend! YAY!

  15. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    3 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Yes, great that things are better for you and your bf! And very exciting going on a solo trip! I've actually never travelled with anyone :P I didn't think anything of it first time I ever travelled. People's reaction (even now after 6 solo trips!) is always "who are you going with" and "what....aren't you scared to go on your own?" or "can you have fun on your own?". And my answer is always "yes.....guaranteed to meet someone at the hostel, in nearly every city! Always end up doing a few activities with them" (until I get tired and need some solo time haha). Some nice memories particularly in Ireland (Dublin pub crawl! including the smallest and most crowded old pub...couldn't move :P).

    Ahhh yes you'll have a great time!!! Exciting!!!

    As for the police, yes luckily i've got 20 hrs at Coles next week, and none of them clash with my next test (psych), so that's good! Hopefully same story the week after for fitness!

  16. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    6 March 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    How did your long weekend go? Sorry for the delay. I went down to Pemberton this weekend to getaway. Been getting a bit anxious on and off the past few weeks - be it from work or something - that I needed to get away. I climbed the gloucester tree which was such an achievement. Did it on my 3rd attempt. The first 2 i was too chicken came down 1/3. I texted my bf who said don't look down it is easy. As I did the 3rd time he was in my head and I DID IT. Met a few Asians up there as well which was nice. Bf did ask why I was alone and told me be safe. He asked if was ok and I told him. He said he hoped was better and was texting me before bed a bit and his text were affectionate which was really nice. Counting down til I see him!!!!

    I find travelling alone is great. Sometimes can be a bit scary alone, especially being a woman but just surround myself in crowds (mostly) and hold my bag close so that I know am relatively safe and secure. It is great as well cause you just accommodate yourself and your needs. And yes you do meet alot of amazing people when you do tours like your pub crawl. The irish are rough around the edges alright but they are friendly, especially when you go drinking. I dated a guy from Cork for 4 years and had loads of good memories in Ireland.

  17. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    7 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Awesome! I love the forests down south (haven't been for at least 20 years to Pemberton though). That must have been a bit scary climbing the trees! (when I was there I was too young i'd say...so missed that experience!). Nice to go somewhere away from the city for the weekend! And nice that your boyfriend has been texting you more :) Definitely would have helped give you more courage :) I know exactly what you mean about the anxious feelings.....I've been having them too! Like, I dropped from one unit (to do 3), and I feel almost guilty that I did! Even though i'm considering changing my major from Fine Art to something more practical, like Graphic Design (still creative).

    I went to The Pinnacles with a friend from uni a couple of weeks ago (to celebrate last weekend off before uni :P ), it was our first time. Definitely not as good as the photos make it out to be, but it was fun! Most memorable thing was trying on hats to buy at the gift shop, and my friend slowly took the hat off my head.....to show me a huge huntsman spider dangling off the hat!!! Scary lol. The old ladies behind the counter didn't seem phased...in fact didn't budge an inch when it crawled away on the floor to somewhere else in the shop!

    Travelling alone definitely has its benefits! Nice that you met an Irish guy. Did you meet in Cork? I went there on my trip, it was so quaint :) The pubs were great (and they have a very distinct accent!).

    About the Police, well I left an hour early for my psych exam but I knew I wasn't going to make it! Luckily, I called them, and they said the whole 6-12 months waiting period is just a deterrent/warning for people who continually without reason fail to attend testing, and doesn't apply to someone who voluntarily withdraws. So they said any time I want I can reapply! So my plan is, to make myself really fit (so I easily pass the physical), and apply again within 6 months (however long it takes to be truly fit). So....a big relief!!! In the meantime i'll do these three units, which don't look too hard.

    Plus, at the moment looks like i'm getting plenty of work! I've actually got 24hrs this week in deli, which is a Coles record for me :P I'll finally have no excuse to fix all the broken stuff in my car haha :) Might not be on Austudy for long after all :D

    How long now until your ball?

  18. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    10 March 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    Its been so busy that I haven't had time come on. It's 3am here and I am just heading off to bed. my bf is back early this morning before he flies off the next morning. Then he be back on day of my ball which is next Sat. So excited to see him and hope his flight doesn't get delayed next Sat and he makes it early enough for us walk together to the ball location.

    The climb was scary but glad I did it. Oh pinnacles. Think been few years since was there. And as for the spider yikes! I probably freak a little.

    I met him whilst he was doing a working holiday here. Was so upset when we broke up at first. First love and all but glad we did cause I think back now and realise why he wasn't the right one. Tried keep in touch but had cut ties last year as he still had strong feelings for me after 2 yrs and wasn't moving on, irony is that its his inability to get over his pride and completely commit to coming over to Perth that we broke up.

    Yayyyy for Coles.

    I am off to bed. Second night have been going bed at 3am. Sorry for the not so long response.

  19. livm88
    livm88 avatar
    82 posts
    16 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    Hi Anony,

    Yes I understand being busy now! I'm the same, sort of forgot all about the forums, doing uni and a lot more work (well only 24hrs last week....but it's a lot compared to before!), only 13hrs this week.....hope they give me more next week, because I just had to fix a few major things on my car ($850 later!), and will have to do the same amount in another month!!! Old cars suck :P I will have spent more money than what I paid for it :( But the mechanic says it will then easily go another 3 years.

    You must be excited now for your bf coming back (this Saturday I guess? or was it last weekend....I lose track of the dates :P )

  20. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    17 March 2017 in reply to livm88

    Hi Olivia

    More working hours is good right? Oh fixing cars I can imagine. Would it be cheap enough to buy a new car? Saying that though a new car cost more $$ than the current fixing haha. I know you can get new car from auctions. When I had an accident last year, got my latest one in an auction. I was lucky as Mum paid the rest of the amount after my insurance covered the first $5k.

    Well he came back last Friday so that was great. He is coming back late tonight. Saying that currently frustrated as he has not sent me his itinerary and have not gotten a response. Though I messaged him with no response. So am gonna take his silence as golden. Will message him saying that haven't heard so I will see you at the airport tonight. And if he doesn;t come or got his flight time wrong I will be soooo maddd and he probably feel guilty which he deserves to!

    How has your training been going? Weather been so weird in Perth!

  21. Anony18
    Anony18 avatar
    88 posts
    19 March 2017 in reply to Anony18

    hi Olivia

    Won't be seeing the bf this weekend. Didn't go to the ball. We had a falling out/argument at least from my perspective. Don't really wanna get into it to be honest. But I am not sure what is going to happen, if he dislikes me. Hurtful things from his end were said which unsure if he realised it. Guess one of the things to talk about when I hear from him. Tough part now is more the when if anything. I just wished that he would give me an inkling that things are ok and acknowledge we need talk but will do it when he is feeling better. He is currently sick so it makes him grumpy and tired.

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