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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Surviving: Being in a better place

Topic: Surviving: Being in a better place

  1. startingnew
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    18 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Oh my special lady

    I atill catching up. Youve been having a rough time of it havent you. Im really sorry to hear about your news of your disk. I really hope they can get onto that asap and a speedy recovery after that. And no they dont usually stuff around with spinal things.

    Idont have much too add. Just lot of hugs to you xoxox ❤❤❤❤

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  2. Ggrand
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    18 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB, waves to Pepper Startingnew,

    just checking in and read about your disc, sounds incredibly painful, Rest as much as you can, look after yourself, add physical pain with MH pain would be unimaginable. Pleased they aren't mucking around and getting you seen to asap. Be a good girl and follow Drs instructions perfectly. Hard to when in pain, maybe try meditation maybe can help with sleep, I know you don't do music much, I'm the same but maybe try listening to something soft and calming, earplugs in, just lay there really taking in and listening to the sounds, . Hate knowing your in pain.

    Ok I will go now, let you rest, know that we all care. Your not religious I know that, but really hope you don't mind if I say a prayer or two for you.

    Dont reply, just rest hun.

    Kindness and healing energy sending to you.

    GG.🤗🤗🤗xoxo.

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  3. Mathy
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB,

    The neck/disc thing sounds pretty awful, especially when you’re in the middle of a BP episode (I’m dumb, not quite sure of which part of BP you’re dealing with atm embarrassed 😳

    I’m a belts and braces kind of person, could you not go back to your BP meds, until you’ve got the neck issue sorted out? No shame in taking a step backward, so you can sort the neck issue out.

    Only saying ‘cos physically you sound wrecked, and that neck needs some energy putting into it. You need to be in tip top physical health, me-thinks?

    Anyways, big hugs to you and look after yourself.

    BTW - Aussies smashed the Poms today, Ashes now back in Aussie Hands

    Take care, bestest, cheers M :)

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  4. demonblaster
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    19 December 2017 in reply to Mathy

    You lovely supportive group thankyou so much soz was at airport & had to choof they called us to go through

    No pain for while it happened within last few mths being careful but clearly they've seen something

    Wouldn't well would actually wish on worst enemy

    Going to spend next couple days bed, nah Maths still on one of BP meds reduced its never different recoverings like you survived a train running over you

    Yeah lets make a circle of hands anyone can join & we'll get through together

    So grateful to you all

    Will catch up near future when got access to laptop (easier) reading most days xx

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  5. demonblaster
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster
    Reduced again diabetes med
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  6. demonblaster
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Sorry not individual replies do read. Sooo appreciate you all

    Just need to pull outta this shit & will eventually

    At least this is better than the others but still deep crap, at least held from deeper. Progress

    Cant word it.

    It's shit. Working on, starting to & going to get through

    Friggen over it but need to turn pain into more determination

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  7. startingnew
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    no need to individually respond DB, i know. i get it.

    keep your chin up, when you can longer see the light reach out nd we will continue to guide you no matter how long it takes.

    big soul hugs special lady, xoxox

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  8. Peppermintbach
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB and all,

    I agree with Butterfly Wings (Startingnew) about not worrying about individual replies if you’re not feeling up to it. We get it and understand. It’s okay...

    You sound like you’re in so much pain and feeling very low. Yet there’s still your trademark determination that shines through despite the struggles...what a beautiful person, you are...

    We will all hold your hand (probably have to take turns though lol) during this difficult period...

    With you in spirit and sending love and hope.

    Pepper xoxo

    P.S. Resting over the next couple of days sounds good. Kind thoughts.

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  9. demonblaster
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    19 December 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Thanks lovely girls x

    Found out more re neck knew it must be serious cause of priority for surgeon

    CSF (cerebro spinal fluid) bout half centimetre around T 1, 2 & 3 (thoracic) back next vertebrae after base of neck) i said to GP oh at least not much he said not much room there. Oh oh

    Learnt nursing 1 yr training how mega important csf is it's around brain & spinal column.

    Has to be sorted if gets worse pain be worse could lose use of muscles in area

    Pain specialist didnt see it

    Could be due to trauma or ? But very dangerous explains why its urgent.

    Not looking into it today but ph bill doubled got new tablet sposed to & promised wasnt gunna cost anything. Got it after being hacked.

    Lifes peachy atm

    Sigh

    Gotta roll with neck/back but phone, no no no!!!

    Have to wait & see, not stressing BP's enough but have to prepare for possible outcomes

     

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  10. Mathy
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    19 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB,

    Look on the bright side, at least you’ve been prioritised - which is something of a miracle 😊

    That’s cr@p about your data/phone, especially as you thought you had a good deal.

    Triple hugs, take care, cheers M :)

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  11. demonblaster
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    20 December 2017 in reply to Mathy

    Maths thankyou

    If this gets worse & spreads furtur down spine could lose muscle use there too

    Asked brother if hed ming carrying other bag too other day as well as suitcase which he happily did but woesa lucky cause hurt neck a tad, all in that area

    Yeah knew something going on being priority they triage. Less than 3 wks.

    So far yeah lucky cause got text & thought it must be for someone else, only reason contacted them was thought whoever meant for may miss out

    Concerned & thinking not stressing but lol bloody ph bill more hacked off about.

    Hey bright side ive still got $2.? ...Credit lol

    Want to get back to you bout athlete pushing through just not sure when. Think about stuff ☺

    Tc Maths ,congrats Oz on cricket win

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  12. Peppermintbach
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    20 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi wonderful DB,

    The health issues with your neck sounds very serious, and dare I say, a bit scary. I really hope the surgeon can do something about it.

    Lol about still having $2 credit. It’s great how you still manage to laugh despite everything that has happened. Love your good nature and spirited self :)

    Mega Soul hugs and much love,

    Pepper xoxo

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  13. Ggrand
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    20 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB,

    Please Look after yourself, Take it easy, rest, please try not to do anything or lift anything heavy or strenuous.

    kind n caring thoughts,

    GG.

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  14. startingnew
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    20 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    sounds serious DB, i hope your able to get some answers soon!!

    please take it easy, rest up

    sending lots of love and hugs xoxox

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  15. demonblaster
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    20 December 2017 in reply to startingnew
    Thanks girls yeah it is serious, very

    Would say surgery will happen pretty quick. They're getting me to see him pronto which is good
    No choice but really don't want neck touched. Have to put faith in them too & no power over outcome so not stressing but thinking heap.

    Early Jan seeing surgeon, know more then.

    Dig yaz
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  16. Peppermintbach
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    21 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi beautiful DB,

    That sounds very scary and worrying...

    Thanks for letting us know.

    I’m glad you’re trying your best not to think about it because, as you said, the outcome is out of your hands.

    I think of you often and I am hoping for the best. I hope you get to see a really good surgeon in January.

    Sending love, care and mega soul hugs to you ❤️

    Pepper xoxo

  17. blondguy
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    21 December 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Hey DB

    You are strong..I would be anxious as anything. There is something about the words surgery and hospitals that scare the hell out of me.

    Yet, your thread title reflects your strength and willpower (horsepower)......

    'Being in a better place'........You are a serious weapon DB

    Bearhugs for you (if thats okay of course)

    Paul

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  18. demonblaster
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    21 December 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach
    Peps you never fail to be by your friends side do you. Loyal & so many goods in you. ONE DAY you're going to believe in yourself, Starts & Grandy too. One of my missions. Slow & steady wins the race

    PAUL, WOW, lovely to see you, thanks for dropping in & what you said strong, a weapon, mm loven that, matey that all went deep.

    Seriously thanks Paul. GOD YEAH bear hugs awesome, always
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  19. startingnew
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    21 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    i agree DB, you are a weapon. a very strong willed lady indeed.

    youll get through this and we will be here helping you along each step of the way

    ending lots of positive soul hugs

    oxoxo

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  20. demonblaster
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    21 December 2017 in reply to startingnew
    Shaking head in loving way, thankyou really good people

    Maths soz in reply to ? was in the down phase, takes weeks for recovery, depression & exhaustion. Still trying to catch up. But head space heaps better now

    Triple hugs yeah yeah girl xx
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  21. Peppermintbach
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi wonderful DB,

    Aw thank you, DB. You are always so wonderfully kind and try to uplift so many of us :) Thank you...

    I hope you are taking good care of yourself during this down phase. It sounds tough. Think of you often...

    I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas now 🎄❤️ as I won’t be posting much during the Christmas period (and in the immediate lead-up to it).

    I know it must be hard without your gorgeous late partner (how special was he? Rhetorical) but I hope you still get to celebrate the day in some other special way.

    I wish you Love, joy, generosity and community on Christmas Day.

    Catch up after Christmas :)

    Mega Soul hugs and love,

    Pepper xoxo

  22. Peppermintbach
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi DB,

    Just a heads up, check out the “A Bouquet for pearls- share your appreciation for other members” thread...maybe a little later today as it’s not up yet. I am hoping that I selected post and not “cancel” lol

    Love,

    Pepper xoxo

  23. demonblaster
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    22 December 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach

    Thanks Peps hun & Merry Xmas to you too darlin girl. I really hope it is good for you & to follow too. You're turn xx

    Went to bed about 9 pm earliest in weeks big sleep it takes sooo bloody long to catch up, going back to bed soon.
    flattened completely last night but not quite down, kind of but not in a OH GOD way. woke up bit average but ok.

    Yeah definitely University hospital daghh huge triggers, another part of grieving. 7+ mths chemo there. Damn it!!
    He's on my mind all the time Xmas does sting bit more & where I am brings on a few more memories too All part of love & loss.I know lucky to have had that for 28 yrs but doesn't make it any easier getting through & BP SLAMMED. Nearly took me again. Panicked how low it takes ya rang people

    Got caught outta Blue other day doing a tt meeting and a comment about him, could see his writing so clearly in a book in memory, had to stop to compose for a few secs, WOW was so damned vivid. over the worst but miss him so much. Thanks Peps remembering. You shine girl, what a beautiful person

    I really hope when I like myself it helps with being so bloody sensitive, all life, stuff goes straight to heart, hurts. Yet other stuff can handle. Oh the joys of being so screwed up aye lol

    Screwed up but rational, bit average atm




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  24. demonblaster
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster
    (ROCK) star (Starwolf)

    IF I wrote here everytime I thought of you with love & friendship, concern, missing you like arghhhh

    Do you know what a difference you've made to so many and what a true Champion you are.

    I can't forget you Rock, tearing up but wanna not cry today. IT's ok & healthy cleansing to but not today

    There's a little voice (thought) telling me you're recovering Rock, god I hope so & that you're ok, yes selfishly but because you're so loved, respected and appreciated.

    I started other day reading back from beginning here, it was you and I to start then Sez for a while, you stuck by me, I didn't feel alone here, shit.. tears trying again, sooo tired still & I knew anyway but saw our friendship developing which grew stronger each time we talked.

    How can I thankyou for everything you've been for me without it just sounding like words.

    Believe me you're in my thoughts soooo often, and I'll continue using "IT" with you in mind. LOL that didn't quite come out as I meant :D

    Do love you ROCK, please be ok ((( souls & holding hands )))
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  25. Peppermintbach
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hi big hearted DB,

    Just squeezing in one post before I head out to buy Christmas presents...

    A mega soul hug...

    Of course it’s painful; he was your soulmate. The love of your life. I don’t think you ever truly forget that and I don’t think the sadness ever completely fades...I suppose you just learn to live with it. It must be hard...

    Your loyalty, love and friendship for Starwolf is so heartfelt. You love the people around you very deeply. It shows...

    Anyway, see you around after Christmas 🎄

    Much love and soul hugs,

    Pepper xoxo

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  26. Ggrand
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hello DB,

    Just read both of your posts and I can so feel your pain.

    I'm so really sorry honey, it's hard of course you will always miss your soul mate, he was and is a part of your heart, always will be, I agree with Pepper, you will never forget him and grieving takes as long as necessary..feel your pain and loss. Hugs for you 🤗DB..💖

    I can relate to you missing Starwolf so much. I've read the conversations between you two. There magic, the care you show for each other, is beautiful. Even though you never met in real life, I know that a very close bonding friendship can develop online, it's a friendship formed of trust, Starwolf would know how appreciated you are of her posts to you, she has a beautiful soul as with you and they both connected so well. Starwolf is so proud of your progress with {IT}, and the fabulous job your doing here to help as many as you can to crush and flatten {IT}.

    DB, Please don't feel alone here, we are all together in this Neverending fight of {IT}. You are leading us victory, I know and I'm sorry that we lean on you to much, my shoulders are huge enough for you to lean on, have a cry or two. I wish I could help you more, take your hurt and pain away. My heart aches for you. Please look after you, and be kind to you.

    kindness only.

    L & C..(love &Care) with soul hugs 🤗🤗🤗

    GGGG.

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  27. startingnew
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    22 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    hey DB

    i dont have much to add to what Grand and Peps have said

    sending lots of soul hugs and wishing you a merry xmas.

    your not alone here, ever. i do understand how your feeling though with not being able to communicate with starwolf. alot has changed here for me too and it feels different. sometimes good sometimes upsets me but its ok to feel that way. things do happen and i really seriously hope wolfs doing ok. i do remember her last posts, but i also remember the impression she has left me with of her. her strength and courage never ceases to amaze me. i see that in you too, you know. that strength and courage, take now for example. everyone can see it DB xoxox

    we are here for you any time, sending more hugs, a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold for as long as you need and want xoxo

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  28. demonblaster
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    22 December 2017 in reply to Peppermintbach
    You girls Mathy too & Paul coming in & others over time, seriously I feel & hope you all do too when it's hard, not just here, everywhere around bb like I"m being protected & looked after. Big Angel wings gently around me, from my heart I thankyou all soooo much.

    I try but find it hard as I know you understand when we're in deep it envelopes us, so can't be there as much as I'd like for you all, do but ...... it's just getting through it, has to be worked on and as we know it's all consuming.

    I feel like I'm doing a complete overhaul on psych/physical which is working but's MAMMOTH, and that I'm so close to figuring this out, getting there, but I guess just have to go at the pace my brain can.
    lol & then there's mania, I think a LOT about all this which you can't really do without thought & that's fine, like thinking but & saw yous saying same it's getting it out onto paper, seriously some posts take literally hrs for...sake but satisfying clicking on reply oh yeah, beat ya beasty. Fail.

    Tiredness is our biggest down, makes it all harder but then could look at it that we can become stronger by working harder through it as we have to. Too easy to go down & stay there.

    Merry Xmas you beautiful people, thanks for your friendship support and love. Honestly

    Peps what a beautiful post in Pearls. You moved me beyond xx

    Hold on dear friends, we'll work this out together. Believe it's GOING to happen. It will cause I can't do this shit anymore. Had me a lifetime with untold happies too but dark cloud always hovering. Blackness countless times. NO MORE!!!!...well not for much longer's realistic...ssshhh don't tell beasty.
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  29. Mathy
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    23 December 2017 in reply to demonblaster

    Hey DB,

    The University hospital sounds great (apart from bad memories). I’m a firm believer that our teaching hospitals provide the best care and expertise.

    So, let me wish you a very Happy Xmas, hope it is filled with love, friends, good food and happiness.

    Also wishing StarWolf a Happy Xmas, may she be on a road to recovery and well.

    Bestest, cheers M :)

    2 people found this helpful
  30. demonblaster
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    23 December 2017 in reply to Mathy
    Thanks Mathy & to you too darl, thanks for your solid support too

    Lovely of you to the "Wolf" as you say love that :)

    Take good care of yourself Maths it's very nice knowing you xx (Triple hugs back atcha)
    2 people found this helpful

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