Hi am1295, Thank you for your replies, its nice talking to thoughtful young man like yourself. I'm sorry that you've been under so much stress these past months, and grieving as well.
I guess I feel overall the same as white knight, that a lot of good things will happen for you if you strive for more Independence like moving out of home There is absolutely no shame in living at home or not driving a car. I've dated grown men in their late 30's living at home because of misfortune or their parents needed care. And plenty of people living in cities do not keep cars. But living at home just creates difficulties, especially if your parents are stressful people who fight a lot. Their bad relationship may intimidate some girls; they may wonder if they want to be bothered with dealing with a new boyfriend as well as his parents so close, who may not even like her. Others may wonder how its affecting you being around stress all the time. And others just may want more privacy while they get to know you. I'm sure you understand. Don't be ashamed, but have a think about whether you can move out somehow.
When you asked about being overly critical towards yourself, I have a feeling that could be because of your parents too. Not because they intended for you to feel that way, but children growing up with volatile parents often tend to blame themselves, even without knowing it. It can make you kind of a perfectionist, hard on yourself about everything, and quick to feel shame when they is no cause. So in that regard, It would be good to see how you feel about things with a bit of a break from living with them. Being around relaxed, caring, good people can really help and open you eyes to how hard you are on yourself, compared to them.
When I was 22, I lived in very good share houses. But I admit the very best living situation for me eventually was living alone in a cheap granny flat, I found in the local paper. When I lived there I dated a lot, but was choosy and not desperate. I met my love of my life when I lived there, my partner I've been with for 15 years.
Anyway I hope you don't mind me sharing my thoughts. I know its expensive in Australia, but I hope you will consider the benefits of having more privacy and a break from the hardship and stress at home.