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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / new person

Topic: new person

  1. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2238 posts
    28 November 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM,

    Yeah, there's a lot of hard work for women in getting anything diagnosed. I remember reading an article about how women were frequently undiagnosed even for significant physical stuff, because doctors were assuming they were exaggerating their pain. Dunno how true that is, but honestly, it's believable.

    I think you need to be among the sleepless elite to stay on top of all you always have going on. (I only heard the term fairly recently, myself.) I can't imagine only needing a little sleep, I need 8-10 hours on average, and I still rarely feel rested. Productivity is absolute rubbish with ADHD *and* high sleep requirements (the former getting super problematic when the latter are not met).

    I know all about uni being a mess of notes and lists and bits of paper everywhere. We get by with our organised chaos. Next to impossible to get things handed in on time navigating that, I agree.

    Certainly your home life would have played merry hell with your grades. No-one knew (or cared to know) my IQ at that age, but knowing later it's well above average, my school grades didn't reflect it either. I didn't have the directly destructive upbringing you did, nor do I know how what I did have to deal with influenced my grades - what I did learn through adult education was that the "parrot fashion" teaching of primary and secondary school just don't work for someone like me. Could be the same for you - repeating back what I was told, nothing ever stuck. But engaging with the literature or other materials, having freedom to evaluate them critically - oh boy, what a joyful experience! Anyway, it's hardly surprising your ability to study improved once you were out of that household.

    Hm, how am I? Mixed bag. Tired, but mostly okay. I'll expand on my thread.

    I can imagine your work being crazy, that must be hard whilst also recovering from the vax, managing loads of appointments and dealing with various family matters. Congrats on the intentional weight loss. Is that something you're doing toward reversing your pre-diabetes?

    Great to hear prodigal son is almost done with school, and has bright future prospects he's excited about. Very pleased he's not letting the ex get close again, too.

    Sorry to hear of Alexa's situation. It's good she finally has a diagnosis, revolting it took so long. BF's idea is a good one, however long it may be to put it in practice. Your anger is understood.

    Outta words. Song from Puffballs.


    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sleepy21
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4492 posts
    30 November 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hi EM, hi blues, J and all reading

    No pressure to reply, just saying hello, and sending you hugs for your renovating and a little hot cocoa. I've swapped to ice tea so welcome to so,e of that if it appeals

    I can understand needing less sleep. If it's good quality sleep, I'll be happy with much less than the required amount, and habe survived well on that, too x much love

    1 person found this helpful
  3. ecomama
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    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    3 December 2021 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue

    I'm finally back online at home for a minute lol. Most kids are at work tonight and there happens to be ONE spare laptop, yay.

    I agree with what you had to say about medical professionals / women / diagnoses. Clearly it's becoming a well known fact not even opinion any more. Grrr. Not even the female Dr Alexa is seeing now is believing the OBVIOUS, GRRR.

    It's all beyond frustrating for us here.

    I'm quite frustrated with "people" almost everywhere atm anyway. I think the cherry on top was what my Counsellor said / her attitude about it all with Alexa. As if I should just not think about any of it because Alexa is an adult and needs to do all this herself.

    How cruel.

    How can we KNOW how important "connectedness" is and just abandon our closest loved ones when they need us the most?
    Makes absolutely ZERO sense to me!
    I'll be bringing THAT up next appt lol.

    I am NOT in the mood. Demon also turned up to the kid's work when Yvette was there with it's narc mother in tow and a few cousins as "lures".... yeah like that'll work!
    Yvette went out the back and punched the walls!

    Then the schoolies night I was dragged to... well it was half / half. Half nice to see some people and half maddening! lol.

    And I THINK I could be going through menopause... but I got excited before to no avail lol.

    I got the name of an "Integrative GP" which has helped some women I know, so I would prefer a female GP anyway, I hope she has room on her books.

    It must be in the stars for exes to return on the scene and causing issues. P.son's (but we saw that coming!) and 3 other children's too - GRR!
    I am NOT good at negotiating this kind of stuff.

    BF is beautiful as he is most of the time. He's got 3 family members seriously ill atm all over the U.S.! His brother, sister AND his dad. It's so very sad.

    Thanks for the songs from Puffballs. I hope Mr Feisty is well now! Tick season again here and we've found a few on rescue kitten now 11yo, our darling boy.

    Travelling South this week for P.son's Graduation. A long haul there and don't want to see exes family but there it is. We're moving ALL his stuff home same day.

    I'm taking Leave soon and a LOT of it. Need to get these renos started. Uncle said no to an Engineer's report but I don't care lol. I'm getting one! Can't have massive holes in a 2 story home and just hope for the best.

    I GOT the new air con yay! Just in time...

    Will check on your thread.

    Love EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  4. ecomama
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    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    3 December 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy!

    Iced tea lol, that's BF's favourite!

    I'll drink anything non-alcoholic as long as someone else makes it, so thankyou!

    How are you doing Sleepy our friend?

    I haven't been online much, so many excuses lol. So while I'm here I'll try to scoot around and catch up a little.

    Love EMxxxx

  5. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2238 posts
    8 December 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM (& Sleepy, J*, Grandy and anyone else following),

    Just a quick note to say I'm still here and listening, though I've not had time to comprehensively reply and probably won't for several days. Busy times here with birthday/hatchday season and me working in retail leading up to Xmas (SA govt being the only one deferring the public holiday to the nearest Monday, so that's its own fiasco).

    Sorry to hear your counsellor is so out of synch with you lately. Doesn't sound productive, and it's not what you need with everything that's going on.

    Happy to hear you're on the threshold of moving prodigal son back home. He won't be prodigal any more, what will you call him now? :P

    Kind thoughts and a song from two healthy and happy Puffballs.


    1 person found this helpful
  6. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    4492 posts
    9 December 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hi Everyone !

    Hope everyone's OK? My case manager says these times ie November, December end of year ...can be so stressful.

    I don't know if i felt that way consciously, how do u find it ?

    No pressure to reply, sending care and love.

    Thanks for asking after me. I appreciate it,

    I've had a lengthy psychological assessment over the last few weeks at the hsoptial to help me get into the ndis.

    It's interesting how they view trauma, essentially as something that ppl get over quickly, eg less funding. So we have to twist it differently to tell my story

    Hope u and bf are doing well, ice tea is a hit here too x

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2238 posts
    19 December 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hey EM & everyone,

    Finally a free minute to talk. This has been a hairy month so far, seemingly for both of us.

    I'm sorry to hear Alexa is dealing with so much BS with the medical profession. What's up with doctors not believing their patients? I've not had that particular problem, but once you're past that barrier, getting them to actually do anything useful, to diagnose and effectively treat a thing... that's a whole other ball game. I really hope you can get past these barriers with her.

    What's up with your counsellor? I recall you've talked about enmeshment with her, and she's probably trying to steer you out of taking on Alexa's struggles like they are your own, but on the flip side, she is your offspring. A decent parent will care and be present and supportive through stuff like this, no matter the age of their children. That connection is relevant and important for both of you.

    I'm sorry your kids have had ongoing trouble with Demon and various of their own exes turning up and making trouble. What is it with people that can't let go? No-one benefits from that. No-one.

    Have you any confirmation or otherwise re menopause? If confirmed, I hope you are able to see the female doctor you want to see.

    Man, three of BF's family members ill at the same time? How are they doing, and how is he doing?

    As I expect you know at this point, Mr Feisty is doing well, back to his usual self - fiesty as ever! Love my little pointy boy. How is rescue kitten after the encounter with that tick?

    Prodigal son should be home and settling back in now, methinks. Here's hoping he is feeling better about life.

    Are you on leave from work yet? I hope so, you deserve it. Glad you have your new air con, we got one in the bedroom a few months back (LM's parents contributed that so he could cope with Summer), and it's been great. How are the renovations going, if they've started?

    Kind thoughts to you and a song from Puffballs.


    PS Hey Sleepy, your case manager is right, the silly season is hard on a lot of people - statistics show undesirable outcomes from mental health struggles increase around this time of year. I'm definitely finding it stressful, but scraping by as usual. How'd you go with the NDIS stuff? That can be really stressful, too. Wishing you every luck with that horrid pile of red tape!

  8. Blue's Clues
    Blue's Clues avatar
    2238 posts
    23 January 2022 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey EM,

    Just dropping in to say I haven't forgotten you and I hope you're coping okay with all the madness in your life and the world at large. I've missed you around the forums, and am still here to listen when you're up to talking.


    1 person found this helpful

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