Hello Rex, I hope you are still checking your thread because texting and emailing two different men, especially while you're out is not appropriate behaviour and as has been said, not too many wives would appreciate this if their husbands were contacting other women even if they were suffering from any mental illness.
You may want to call it being obsessive but it's much deeper than that, it's her need to have to call, text and send photos to each other and you aren't even sure of what else may be happening and being married for 17 years is a great achievement but when this begins, do the years together mean anything, probably not.
I realise that she needs help with her anxiety and depression but this is not the way she should be doing it and depends on the help you are trying to support her with and if she relies more on these two men, then it may be time to make a decision.
I could not personally be in a marriage like this, I would have done something about it.
Hope you are able to get back to us.