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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Relationship and family issues / Not sure how to cope and move past this

Topic: Not sure how to cope and move past this

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. skiddyseeker
    skiddyseeker avatar
    1 posts
    2 September 2021

    I'm not really sure if I'm writing this in the right section, but here i go.

    Roughly late February I found out my (now ex) boyfriend had been cheating on me for a few months. I confronted and broke up with him. But I still struggle with it, we got back into contact because I felt okay about it and I forgave him though I haven't forgotten. We've been in contact for maybe just over a month now but I still think of and miss him. I look forward to talking to him but I feel sad and broken when he doesn't answer my text or leaves in general. He usually initiates the convo as I try not to contact him as much as possible. We talk sometimes multiples times throughout the week.

    I wanna move on but it's so hard and I've been trying for ages. I've been wanting to talk to him about how I feel but I'm scared bc I don't want to look and feel stupid considering what he did.

    please help.

  2. WaterFront
    WaterFront avatar
    65 posts
    3 September 2021 in reply to skiddyseeker

    Hi skiddyseeker,

    Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear you have been going through a rough time lately. Everyone's way of dealing with a break-up is different and it takes time to recover from something that causes this kind of grief, particularly when you have been let down by the other person.

    From my own experience, I found 'no contact' was the only way I was able to move forward because every time there was communication it brought up negative feelings and a tendency to dwell on the situation. It made it harder to let go.

    Looking after yourself, and doing what helps you to cope, is the most important thing right now. Talking about it really helps - to friends, family, here on BB and finding interests and activities that can take your mind away from thinking about it.

    Take care. Happy to talk.

    WaterFront

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9216 posts
    3 September 2021 in reply to skiddyseeker

    Hi, welcome,

    I agree with waterfront, no contact is less painful and allows you to move on quicker.

    I know its hard, I've had 3 previous marriage/relationships of 7,11,10 years duration and all have torn me apart. But there is a few ideas that can make it easier- distraction is one and self praise is another along with dating just for fun.

    These and other things is described in the following-

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/the-best-praise-you'll-ever-get

    Repost anytime

    TonyWK

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