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Forums / Relationship and family issues / What can I say after I've asked a friend for too much help?

Topic: What can I say after I've asked a friend for too much help?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Ali.s
    Ali.s avatar
    1 posts
    12 May 2021

    Hey, I've been struggling with depression lately and I have this friend who's been helping me through it by talking about my depression with me. but lately my mental health has declining and our relationship has been getting more and more intense and one sided with me and him talking about my issues several times a week.

    A few weeks ago a chat got really heavy and since then he seems like he's distancing himself from me. I know he's dealing with some mental health issues of his own and he wouldn't say it but I think he's pulling away because I've been asking too much of him.

    I've decided to try and reduce my dependency on him but I don't know what to say.

    I've talked to him openly about how I feel like a burden to the people aroubd me and I don't want to let him know he's really made me feel that way.

    I want to apologize and let him know I understand that I've been asking too much and not giving anything back lately but I also want to avoid making him feel guilty for pulling away.

    Any tips for apologising to someone you've asked too mich of?

  2. Juliet_84
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Juliet_84 avatar
    622 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to Ali.s

    Hi Ali S,

    It can be difficult when you are going through some heavy things not to want to talk about them or have someone help you, it’s human nature. And I’m sure that your friend has also wanted to help you through these things. But it’s always important to remember that everyone has their own problems that they are going through and our moods can influence those of others. When things start feeling like a one-way street then people can get annoyed or upset with us which only compounds our feelings. Maybe you could just sit your friend down and say what you have said to us, that you know you have been asking a lot of him lately and appreciate his help with getting you through this dark time and fully understand if he wants a break or it’s been getting him down. And then encourage him to talk about himself and how he’s feeling. Perhaps as a nice gesture you could also arrange an activity together if you are feeling up to it, even if it’s as simple as a movie. Something where you don’t have to talk about your feelings etc. Sometimes that can be draining for people.

  3. missep123
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    missep123 avatar
    873 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to Ali.s

    Hi Ali S,

    I agree with Juliet_84, perhaps it is a nice idea to sit down with him and tell him just as you told us.I also agreed with Juliet's idea of doing something fun together like an activity or watching a movie!

    Please keep us updated!

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