This is like reading something
straight from my diary! THERE IS HOPE!
Our stories are almost EXACTLY the same. Shy, little to no self-esteem,
socially awkward when it comes to men/ dating, fairly strict upbringing, and I
thought I'd just be lonely forever.
None of the boys I went to school with were interested in
me; they seemed to love all my friends though. I was always asking myself what
was wrong with me? why didn't anyone like me? Why do they want my friends and not me? Is it because Im a virgin?
This changed when I went to Uni. And just like you I
started behaving "irresponsibly". Suddenly in this new crowd of
people, guys seemed interested in me and so I was hooking up
with a lot of them, even though I wasnt really attracted to any of them. It was
just really nice to be wanted for once! And by the sound of it this is sort of
what youre going through right now. Its a confusing time, but I think its
really just part of growing into a sexually mature adult, and working out the
type of people you want to be around. I dont regret the irresponsible time in
my life at all- I certainly learnt a lot about myself, and more specifically what I wanted from a
I knew I wanted to be in a loving relationship with a boyfriend of a year before I lost my virginity. Ha! Well that didnt go to plan. I
ended up losing it to a friend Id known for a week and it went on to become a friends with
benefits scenario (he actually still to this day doesnt know he took my V card
– I never worked up the courage to tell him haha). I still cannot believe it
happened, it went against all my values/ morals. But again I really enjoyed
that time, it was fun, and sex really WASNT as big of a deal as I’d hyped it up
to be in my head. It felt as natural as any other thing you do as a human: eating, sleeping, etc.
And then 6months of sleeping only with my fwb, I met my now fiancé! And we’ve been together
for almost 7 years! Who would have thought!
What I ended up taking away from
all of this was it wasn’t so much that guys weren’t attracted to me, a lot of
them just never had the opportunity to interact with me. When I became more involved in the community whether it was volunteering, joining sports clubs/ other social groups, I was coming into more
contact with men who approached me more than ever before. Doing this also helped steer me towards guys that I had shared interests with, so interacting wasn’t as confronting as going on a blind date or any tinder/ dating app hookup.