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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / 16, Gay and Lonely

Topic: 16, Gay and Lonely

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. halfmarco8
    halfmarco8 avatar
    3 posts
    5 December 2018

    Hi all,

    I'm a 16 Yr old almost 17 who identifies as Gay, and well i guess more recently i have been feeling like there is no one else out there for me. This all began with little things like my friends finding people and beginning relationships and i guess since then I've begun to feel lonely. it's gotten to the point that i wont leave the house unless for school or work as if i leave the house for any other reason i get bad anxiety. Im openly Gay at my school but feel as if there is no hope. Im still keeping a Positive outlook though, hopefully things will get better.

    Thanks For Reading.

    3 people found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9214 posts
    5 December 2018 in reply to halfmarco8

    Hi hm, welcome.

    I'm a 62yo happily married hetro guy that really understands your situation. I'm likely the least likely "type" that you would think would get it.

    The fact as that as a society we have come leaps and bounds in terms of accepting LGBTIQ persons for who they are ...but such lovely people are in the minority and that poses problems for them.

    As a hetro man I found it difficult enough finding love...even female companionship so how eould it be for you? Very hard. So that tells me one thing...it isnt you, its a numbers game and those numbers are not in your favour - however.

    In the next year or two things should change as you will be of age, old enough to vote, drive, enter venues where other lonely gay people will be or internet dating.

    Your challenge now is to be strong and solidify your current friendships. And build your own confidence up using facts like my above example. Attending motivation lectures or reading up on that can carve a more resilient path through life...by your own goals made by you.

    Good luck

    TonyWK

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Only I know
    Only I know avatar
    214 posts
    5 December 2018

    Hey halfmarco8! welcome!

    As TonyWK has said, it is a numbers game. You may just need to be patient for a little while.

    I'm 47 and came out just 7 months ago after being married for 20 years. My wife was my first/only girlfriend/partner, so I get where you are at - I'm there now too that we've separated. I have a son your age, and a daughter a little younger.

    I'm really happy for you though, that you have the strength of character and confidence that you are openly gay at school. No-one knew I was, until I told my wife back in May.

    I can't really give any insight for meeting someone at your age - I was single until I was 25 - but I was hiding. Someone with the qualities that you show here, will no doubt find someone - I am a firm believer that good things happen to good people, and usually when they are least expecting it! or even looking for it for that matter!

    I'm guessing that you're in year 11 or 12, so at the moment you'd have exams etc to get through, so I wouldn't worry about being single just yet, you have your whole life ahead of you!

    As Tony said, solidify your current friendships, make new ones. There IS someone out there for you, you will meet them.

    take care! and keep posting if you need to!

    Darren

    3 people found this helpful
  4. halfmarco8
    halfmarco8 avatar
    3 posts
    5 December 2018 in reply to white knight
    Thanks so Much Tony! This really means alot.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. halfmarco8
    halfmarco8 avatar
    3 posts
    5 December 2018 in reply to Only I know

    Hey Darren,

    Your post really moved me and quiet frankly made me cry. Your such an inspiration and too know there are other people out there makes me feel so happy. Your right about the whole good people will get good things. i live to that quota everyday. Here's hoping to a good future.

    Cheers Marcus.

    3 people found this helpful
  6. C4
    C4 avatar
    107 posts
    6 December 2018 in reply to halfmarco8
    Hi Marco I’m Craig and like Darren i too was married for 16 years and I came out 18 months ago . I guess I’m some ways I envy guys your age that can be your self without hiding for most of your life like I did . I have days where I think will I ever find someone now I’m 46 and I get sad when I see people with partners gay or straight thinking I wish I had that . Your young and you will find someone for you eventually there’s no rush . For me I miss the friendship I had with my ex wife as she was my best friend and I lost that and living on my own makes it hard sometimes. The key that helps is to keep busy and try to socialise if you can . We all want friends and company which is something I’m finding hard to deal with sometimes. Be positive it will happen you don’t have to rush it . Craig
    2 people found this helpful
  7. marcus_c
    marcus_c avatar
    92 posts
    6 December 2018
    Hi halfmarco8, I just wanted to add my voice to the others and reassure you that it's quite normal for things to happen a little later for us gay guys. I know that doesn't help now, when you see your friends getting into relationships and stuff, but your time will come and it's going to be really exciting, scary, heartbreaking (at times) and wonderful. You're ahead of some of us older guys who weren't able to be out at school, you're already confident in who you are and that's a massive plus. Please keep posting and let us know how you're going if you ever need to check in for advice.
    3 people found this helpful
  8. Drewboy
    Drewboy  avatar
    17 posts
    11 December 2018 in reply to halfmarco8

    Hey halfmarco8,

    There are some great replies to your post, and I hope they help you along your journey. Even with all the progress that's been made socially for the acceptance of LGBTIQ people, there's still an internal reconciliation that we must all make, and I know this can feel isolating at times. The great thing is you're only starting this journey, and there's no need to rush it. I understand what it feels like seeing your friends in relationships and thinking "why can't I have that too?", but your time will come. There's a great big fun world out there after school, and for many of us this is when things really start to happen in our lives. Be positive, and you'll find your special someone who will make you feel complete.

    Big hugs,

    Drewboy

    1 person found this helpful

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