So I'm turning 20 in a month and I'm not really sure of my gender identity. I am struggling with depression and anxiety as well. I am currently living as a male, but I sometime wish I was born female. I don't experience any gender dysphoria, sometimes I just feel like I'd be happier as a woman. I've been struggling with this for nearly five years and have recently told my family about it. They're trying to help me through this but they are just as lost as I am. Sometimes I feel confident that i want to transition fully to female, but other times i feel confident that i want to stay male. I regularly feel worried that if i do transition, then i will regret it later in life. I'm scared I'll find out it's just a phase or something. I have been trying to think of myself as a woman or even use gender neutral pronouns when i think about this stuff, but i frequently find myself referring to myself as male. On the one hand, I've referred to myself as a male for almost 20 years and that can be a hard habit to break. But on the other hand, shouldn't it be easier to think of myself as a she if i'm really transgender? Sometimes i feel like i treat my dreams wrong. Sometimes i'll act as if they're what i'm really feeling, because a dream is what my subconscious is showing me. But I also think that they're just dreams and nothing more. Sometimes in my dreams i'm a female version of myself. I like these dreams because i feel so happy, and when i wake up there's an emptiness in my heart. Other times it's the same but i appear how i am now. Should i be putting any stock into dreams? or should i treat them as meaningless fantasies. I'm not unhappy living as a male but i feel like i would be happier as a woman. Another worry is that if i do transition, what if no one loves me? What if i never find a partner because any woman I fall for can only see me as a man? I know i shouldn't base my future on this but it's scary to think that i might be alone for the rest of my life. I find that online, people tend to mistake me for a woman based on how i interact with other players and i find that i like it when they do. But i also feel like i'm putting on a mask when i talk to people online, and that they aren't seeing the real me. But i also worry that my online persona is how i really am and my anxiety holds be back as a person in real life. Sorry for the wall of text, but i just don't really know what to do. Thank you for reading this. It helps to get this off my chest.