Hey Gay Westie
you've got some great suggestions posted here. I agree with Larli, if someone is interested in getting to know you without sex then they'll hang around, if they don't then good that they are gone.
Like you, I struggle with the idea of being with someone that has been with a whole heap of others. I've only been out for about 9 months now and left the family home (wife and 2 kids) 3 months ago - having never explored this side of me. I'm only just getting used to living on my own, I'm not putting pressure on myself to meet someone or even have any type of intimate encounter (of course I want to, but not worried if/when it happens).
I've looked at some Apps, but am just not comfortable with them. Some on them say that they are happy with just friendship, but I guess I'm pretty suspicious and think that there is other motives. I like the "traditional old way" and meet someone - get to know them - etc etc.
I too am a larger guy, as well as pretty shy when meeting new people, so get where you come from here - it is really hard to go up to someone and just introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. On the advice of others here on the forums, I googled Team Melbourne - a site that puts you in touch with Melbourne LGBT sporting clubs. I joined a running/walking group as it was something that I could easily do, and get fit / drop kg's at the same time. I even marched with them at the Pride march yesterday - something I couldn't ever see myself doing - but I did!
Because I'm so shy, I haven't actually met up with any of them outside of the group get togethers - I don't have the confidence to invite or ask anyone to catch up - even just as a friend, but I've come to realise that you sometimes just need to be patient. I've been going for about 6 months and really enjoy the walk, seeing the same people each week and having a chat & coffee afterwards. I'm not really interested in anything other than making friends at the moment, and expanding my social network. It takes time.
Don't hate yourself, unfortunately this can be the message that you portray to others. As Larli said, you haven't chosen who you are.