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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Mind Blown Confusion????

Topic: Mind Blown Confusion????

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. RekoSanctum13
    RekoSanctum13 avatar
    1 posts
    8 September 2014


    This is the first time I have ever done something like this or let alone talked about this other than to my councillor.......

    I wanted your guys opinion.

    I am recently going out with a guy and I love him a lot but I am bi.

    I have gone out with a girl for almost a month last year and I absolutely loved her to bits.

    she made me feel special.

    and so does my boyfriend now.

    I like both genders but I am kinda in a bit of a tight spot.......

    I like to dress as a guy and my boyfriend doesn't know about it.......

    Even though, he said he wants to be a cross dresser (I believe he is joking)

    But the strange thing is........

    When I dress like a guy and I look at a hot guy I don't look at them in a girls perspective but more of a guys perspective like I've got a gay guy trapped inside of me.

    I have sometimes thought even when I wasn't in guys clothing that when I see a guy sometimes that "Hey, I want to date that guy but with my male side."

    I don't want to have a sex change because I like being a girl but my guy side is a bit of a bother......

    I like both sides to me but I'm confused.......

    Is what I feel when I dress as a guy normal?!?!?

    What do I call this? Do I tell my boyfriend about this?!?!

    I'm confused........


  2. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15054 posts
    8 September 2014 in reply to RekoSanctum13

    dear Reko, thanks so much for posting your comment, and I'm sure it wasn't easy to do so, with the apprehension of not knowing what to expect.

    This site doesn't criticise anybody, because The Moderators wouldn't allow for any reply to be posted if someone did, so your safe here.

    People have no real choice what sex they are born with, and if people decide to change their sexual beliefs, then so be it, no one can possibly stop you from doing so, and no amount of talking can possibly convince you to be the way they feel you should be, and secondly it's non of their business.

    So at the moment you have feelings for both sexes, and that's the way you want to be, irrespective of any sex you may favour towards, makes no difference, because the feeling for both is still there.

    Remember that there are males who like to cross dress, and no one can stop them from doing so, and really why should they, that's their own personality, and if you can see these males dressed as females, there is no way to doubt their sexual origin, because some of them look so beautiful.

    I am sure that there are many people out there that want to be both sexes, that's their entitlement, just look at Dame Edna and plays the role so well.

    Sooner or later your boyfriend will find out or see the clothes and then question you, maybe with the thought that you maybe having an affair, so perhaps you could bring up the topic and sound him out first, if he says that he hates it, then it's your decision on whether you want to tell him, but you have to keep in mind that he may leave you.

    It's not an easy decision, but basically I can't see anything wrong in telling him that you are bi, he may in actual fact like it. L Geoff. x

  3. justinok
    justinok avatar
    151 posts
    8 September 2014 in reply to RekoSanctum13

    Hi Reko, I'm gay and thought I had it tough until I met people who were trans and intersex, then I realised that the confusion I'd been through was mild. Everything we see in this world is TWO categories only: male or female. It was only after I met an intersex person that I understood how scary it must be to grow up feeling like you are neither. You have nothing around you that you can point to and say, yes that's me.

    You can be attracted to both sexes. That's sexual orientation. You can identify with elements of male and female. That's gender identity. Google "genderqueer" and you might find some stuff that resonates with you. You don't have to choose one gender or the other. Be with the person you want to be with, and be the person you want to be. It is possible.

    Also, I think it's a bit easier for a girl to dress in guy's clothing and not raise eyebrows than it is to go the other direction. How do you dress day to day?

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