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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / My boyfriend thinks he might be Bisexual

Topic: My boyfriend thinks he might be Bisexual

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Willowtree_21
    Willowtree_21 avatar
    5 posts
    24 June 2021

    Hey!

    So my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years told me that he thinks he might be Bisexual. It's a big 'thinks' and he's still figuring it out. I'm the only person he had told so far. As far as I can tell, he isn't wanting to jump into a relationship with someone else. We're having a bit of a tough time with other things but want to stay together for a while longer at least.

    I'm really happy, honestly, that he told me. I'm just wondering how I can support him moving forwards, especially if he determines this is definitely his sexual identity.

    He thinks he might be Bisexual as he's had thought about guys romantically as well as girls recently.

    Just note - I'm not weirded out by him talking about crushes or people he finds attractive. We're pretty chill that way and committed to each other. I want the best for him.

  2. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9135 posts
    24 June 2021 in reply to Willowtree_21

    Hi, welcome,

    It's great that he is honest to you expressing his thoughts, feelings and tendencies.

    The only thing that can cause an issue is the future, will he one day want to have an affair to "experiment"?. That is ok if it's ok with you.

    Some couples can allow such freedom in their relationship but some individuals not do.

    If, in a year or so he said he wants to meet guys but stay together with you...how will you cope with that?

    TonyWK

  3. Learn to Fly
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    Learn to Fly avatar
    111 posts
    24 June 2021 in reply to Willowtree_21

    Hi Willowtree

    Thank you for sharing this special experience with us.

    I think you are already being a pretty amazing support to your boyfriend. And him opening up to you as the only person- that’s a great level of trust and respect you Guys have between the two of you.

    Sometimes this is what you can do best: listen when he needs to talk to someone that he can fully trust.
    Giving him space when he needs it and time for the preferences to become more solid.

    I think you have done a really amazing job so far in supporting him when he really needed it.

    Take care.

  4. Willowtree_21
    Willowtree_21 avatar
    5 posts
    25 June 2021 in reply to white knight
    We are at a stage of our lives where we are just figuring things out. I wouldn't love him wanting to explore other options while we were together. We've just been talking about the future recently. I'm not sure how long I want to stay with the relationship myself. I'll be moving away or something within a year so a lot will probably change.
  5. smallwolf
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    smallwolf avatar
    5514 posts
    26 June 2021 in reply to Willowtree_21

    at the moment it sounds like you are doing the right thing by listening and responding openly and honestly. Hopefully he is the same towards you.

    And your thought processes about him exploring options while you two are together makes sense.

    Your honesty and openness in you .. looks like you are doing this in talking about the future. Being able to have serious conversations and listening to each other shows maturity and helps to determine whether you are or can be on the same page. Two people can have different perspectives on things as long as each can also respect the other.

    Have you friends or family you can talk you about the other things troubling you and getting their perspective?

  6. sbella02
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    sbella02 avatar
    27 posts
    2 August 2021 in reply to Willowtree_21

    Hi Willowtree_21,

    I can see that others have already offered their opinions, so I'm hoping to build on these responses and hopefully give you a few things to think about.

    It makes me happy to hear that you're very accepting and supportive of him and his identity, and that he feels like he can trust you with deeply personal information like this. That's amazing to have in a relationship. As somebody who started being open about my bisexuality right before getting into a relationship with my current boyfriend, I can empathise with both you and your boyfriend and recognise how you must both be feeling. My boyfriend occasionally asks whether I'm bothered that I haven't gotten an opportunity to explore my attraction to women, so I understand your situation.

    It sounds like a great idea to have another talk about your future together: where you see the relationship heading long-term, your individual future plans, and how the relationship may adapt if or once you end up moving away. If he's comfortable talking openly about it, I would also raise his sexuality, and whether or not he wishes to explore this at some point. If he does want to explore but still wants to stay with you, I'd have a talk with him about how this would work in a way that respects both your boundaries and his. It may even be a good idea for him to open up to another trusted person, like a friend or family member, so he has the support of a few people. I know that personally, the more people I opened up to about my bisexuality, the more comfortable and supported I felt. I also agree with Smallwolf, in that it's probably wise to open up to another trusted person yourself, provided that your boyfriend is okay with you discussing his sexuality with someone else.

    I wish you well in this situation and hope things work out for the best between you and your boyfriend. It sounds to me like you have a great relationship built upon mutual trust and respect, which is fantastic.

    I'm always here to talk more if you need.

    SB

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