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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Not really sure what to do from here

Topic: Not really sure what to do from here

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. emotionsickness
    emotionsickness avatar
    5 posts
    5 January 2018

    Hey guys.

    Just after some advice. I am 39 years old, I have always identified as a lesbian. I was never really interested in guys, and I have always had sex / relationships with women. I still love women but I have been a little curious of late. I want to sleep with a guy. I am not sure how to go about doing this as it has never been some thing I have wanted to do. I just want to know what it is like. Do I tell the guy that it is my first time? I don't exactly want to get into a relationship or whatever. My two closest friends are very supportive but no one else knows. It's pretty confusing but I really want to do it.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
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    white knight avatar
    9163 posts
    5 January 2018 in reply to emotionsickness

    Hi ES, welcome

    We have a LBGTI section. Might be better having your question there. [Moderator note: we have moved this thread to the Sexuality and gender identity section]

    Its a perfectly good question. Although I think I'd battle with myself trying to answer it as I'm straight. Personally if I was you I'd go through a computer dating site only because your desires are directional and it would be better seeking someone after a similar relationship albeit short term.

    I wish you luck and happiness

    Tony WK

  3. Birdy77
    Valued Contributor
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    Birdy77 avatar
    2299 posts
    5 January 2018 in reply to emotionsickness

    Hi emotionsickness,

    If you are curious and want to experiment, to answer your question, i think it would be a good idea to tell the guy it's your first time with a man and that you've only been with women up to this time. Just to be up front.

    That's just my opinion.

    🌻birdy

  4. Just Sara
    Champion Alumni
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    Just Sara avatar
    3397 posts
    6 January 2018 in reply to emotionsickness

    Hi and welcome to our caring community ES;

    It's great you've plucked up the courage to ask for advice and tell a little of your story to us here on BB. Your query is unique and one I'd like to explore with you if that's ok.

    The first thing that puzzled me was; what prompted this issue to come to the surface? If you've never been attracted to the opposite sex, why now? Does it have anything to do with having children?

    Being inquisitive isn't a crime; having a fantasy and then acting it out isn't a new idea. I get it. If you speak to anyone who has, you might find it isn't always as exciting as it's cracked up to be. There's a lot of disappointed people out there including me.

    But...you don't know until you try yeah? Acting on your fantasy might best be done with a friend; someone you know, 'trust' and inclusive of your desire to experience something new.

    I was approached by a good friend in my 20's to explore a technique he'd wanted to ask his ex's to do but couldn't. I identify as Bi so the prospect was considered. We talked extensively about it and set about preparing. A candle lit dinner at home, wine, laughter and then slowly we became intimate.

    For both of us it was like being in a science lab! lol Talk about a let down! Afterwards we decided to stay friends and put it in the past...friends can do that if they're open.

    I want you to be safe first and foremost. Prepare a safe environment and have an exit plan which includes your partner so there's no conflict or unexpected 'consent' issues. This is really important hun.

    Considering your partners feelings is important too. They need to be respected just as you do ok.

    Please keep in touch as I'd be glad to engage.

    My best..

    Sez

    1 person found this helpful
  5. confusednow
    confusednow avatar
    1 posts
    11 March 2018 in reply to emotionsickness
    i admire uyour courage myself i am in a relationship with a woman but im craving male attention. im bi sexual but i dont know much.. guys are very attracytive for me moreso than woman
    1 person found this helpful
  6. Dana 15
    Dana 15 avatar
    1 posts
    11 March 2018 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi,

    i have chosen you at random to ask: how I submit a new post on theforum. I can't see anywhere on the website to do so. Please advise?

    1 person found this helpful
  7. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9163 posts
    12 March 2018 in reply to Dana 15

    Hi Dana

    Go to the top of the page. Thete are 3 selections...all posts, new posts and my posts. Select all posts, go to your category, press new thread.

    Enjoy

    Tony WK

    1 person found this helpful

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