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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Want to but scared to share my bisexuality on social media.

Topic: Want to but scared to share my bisexuality on social media.

22 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    3 February 2021

    So basically my Mum knows I’m Bi.

    My “best friend” does. (Kinda complicated) And two fellow lgbt friends that I’m yet to speak in person (One at school, one not) some people in a private group chat.

    Somedays I want to post stuff you know? Quotes or something.

    I have pins my Mum got me but I’m scared to wear them.

    I guess some days I just want to share on facebook or instagram a picture but then I feel scared. I also feel like it’s a private thing no one really needs to know except close friends, close family and obviously future partners, but at the same time every now and then I just want to. Any advice on if I should or if I should wait until I’m really ready and not feeling scared. In my other threads I have spoken about my current school experience. So this might make that worse too. I don’t know I just some days what to just post and smile.

  2. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    14959 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hello Mudcakes, a difficult decision to make, when that's exactly what you want to do but scared of the response you may receive.

    If I can just say and understanding your predicament, does a person make a comment about someone they are keen on dating on any social media, it usually backfires against them, losing any chance of that person and them actually going out, simply because rumours begin making the situation very awkward.

    People will learn to know how you are feeling by the general comments you've made because if you make comments on any social media, there's a chance you might lose friends you thought you had.

    You're proud of being who you are, there's nothing wrong about that, but I would keep it at a low level, word and mouth will slowly spread.

    If I said at school that I really liked my best mates girlfriend, for instant, then much could happen that I didn't want to happen.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to geoff
    My school is really lgbt positive and none of that would happen. It’s more personal fear I guess. Hesitation. Plus I have social phobia and major stuff going on at school.
  4. CalmCat
    Champion Alumni
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    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
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    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hi Mudcakes,

    Thank you for sharing such a open and honest post. You are brave.

    First and foremost, do what feels right. If in the moment you feel like telling someone, tell them. Remember its their problem if they have a problem.

    What state are you from? I know a great LGBTI group based in Victoria called MINUS 18. They hold events for LGBTI people to meet, its such a great cause. Give MINUS 18 a Google search.

    Let us know how you go!

    And remember; You Do You!

    Regards,

    D

  5. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 February 2021

    Hey Mudcakes.

    I just wanted to say congrats on coming out as Bisexual, I'm proud of you. You have the support of people here.

    I hope you can find the confidence to come out at school, if you wish, and don't get judged. Best of luck.

    I also have a Social Phobia.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to CalmCat
    I am in vic and signed up for minus 18. I also do Qlife when I need support. Thank you. I’ll speak to my mum about posting something. Thank you everyone for the support! 💜🏳️‍🌈
  7. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    4 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Best of luck, Mudcakes. We're thinking of you, we have your back xx
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    14 February 2021

    My Mum knows I’m bi, and super supportive, I just don’t feel comfortable talking about my feelings for girls yet. I told her about a dream I had and lied and said I kissed a guy but I kissed a girl in the dream. It feels weird as she knows I’m bi and got me pins and a cushion case, I just don’t know what her response would be If I told her one of my female crushes etc. As we have only spoken about guys I like before and after I came out. Would it be awkward? And she knows I’m bi so why am I anxious about this?😩 Advice please.

    Mudcakes🐕‍🦺🎂

  9. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    14959 posts
    14 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hello Mudcakes, if your mum knows and accepts that you're bi, then there is no reason why you can't talk about girls, either in a dream or in real life, because being bi means an attraction to two or more genders, so don't be afraid.

    If you only want to talk about guys and not girls, may change being bi to another term.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    15 February 2021

    Any other advice please. Got no idea why I get uncomfortable when she knows I am.

  11. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    25 February 2021

    All day I’ve had the urge to just come out on my private instagram. I don’t know what my mum would think If I did.

    If it may backfire as I have not been back to school yet. Like if I regret it or make my mental health worse, it just keeps playing on my mind. I want to be myself.

  12. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5527 posts
    25 February 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hi Mudcakes,
     
    We hope that you’re doing well. It is a very brave thing to come out with your sexuality, and we encourage you to live your authentic life, the way you wish and what makes you happy. We understand that this time can be challenging on multiple levels and encourage you to reach out when ever you feel up to it. Having a support network (friends, family, GP, psychologist etc…) can make this journey that little bit easier. Know that you are not alone and there is always someone on the forum to provide you support. If you are after more imminent support or counselling, there is the beyondblue Support Service – 1300 22 4636 or web chat or email available at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. Also, Q-Life – 1800 184 527.
     
    Please stay in touch.
     
    1 person found this helpful
  13. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    1 March 2021
    I JUST CAME OUT ON MY PRIVATE INSTAGRAM!💖💜💙🌈🏳️‍🌈😃
    2 people found this helpful
  14. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    14959 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hello Mudcakes, sorry I hadn't got back to you, but you may feel uncomfortable when your mum knows, simply because she may tell her friends, so what, what would happen if you were heterosexual and the partner you had chosen was someone your mother didn't like, the same would happen, she'd still be telling her friends and any other situation won't stop them talking.

    People would know by now and understand who you want to be with as well as the opposite gender.

    None of this would stop me from talking to a girl I really liked and this does happen, it doesn't mean I want to go out with them, now I'm too old now but they are still friends, so you mustn't worry about what people think, they do this already to everyone and so do we.

    Just enjoy yourself, you don't have to prove who you are, you are what you believe in.

    Take care.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  15. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to geoff
    I dont think you actually have understood what I have said here. My mum was the first person I told and she was incredible and the fact you’re assuming the opposite(that she didn't know before and would tell her “friends”even though I have mentioned it multiple times she does know and not sure why you assume things and give advice on things that I have not mentioned) I feel this is very odd. This is the lgbt sexuality and identity forum and you have continuously said you
    are straight. So I’m not actually sure what you’re meaning in your posts.
  16. CalmCat
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    CalmCat avatar
    354 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hi Mudcake!

    Thank you for sharing with us that you came out! That is wonderful news!

    I hope you're okay from the confusing on the forum, we all make mistakes. I really hope you're okay, I'm sure that was written in a different context.

    How did you feel after you came out? I know I felt so relieved after I came out.

    What response did you get over Instagram? So proud of you!

    Reagrds,

    D

    1 person found this helpful
  17. eight
    eight avatar
    372 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    wow wow wow that's great came out on your priv insta 🐕‍🦺🎂🏳️‍🌈 i hope you will be loved and this frees you

    i don't know if you need advice on the "scared to talk to mum about your bisexuality" thing now - i can understand where you come from since you still clearly have a lot of closeted fear and sadly it doesn't go away after you come out + get accepted but i don't think its rational to think it either. sure she might be two-faced about you liking girls but from all you've said she sounds like a beautiful mum. the most i could recommend is discuss your fear and exposure therapy it - even if its telling her you think this female celebrity is really cute or the dream.

    yeye I've.. really been leaning towards i don't think cishet people should post as advice-givers on this forum since they always seem confused when they write it. i still mourn all the threads where someone came for support and ended up having to walk through people in the replies basic topics like, the gramatically correct way to refer to transness in writing. it makes them more alienated in a space specifically made for them

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    1 March 2021 in reply to eight

    I have tried slowly mentioning to my mum how nervous I have felt as we have not spoken about girls yet and she’s understood. It’s not that I feel like she’ll be horrible or too faced it’s my anxiety of a conversation that we have never had before. Coming out was hard but she was amazing with it but I havent gone into detail about crushes or anything at all with her and I guess it would my first conversation openly being bi. So that’s I guess why.

  19. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    geoff avatar
    14959 posts
    2 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    Hello Mudcakes, yes I am straight but I'm still allowed to reply on a LGBT thread, it doesn't stop you, me or anyone else having to suffer from anxiety/social anxiety of any type and there would be other threads posted by other people who are not bi which you have replied back to, it doesn't necessarily matter who wants to support someone by offering their advice.

    I don't use the word 'assume' it's just a suggestion, but will leave you alone now.

    Sorry, you felt this way, I'm only trying to help.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  20. Mudcakes
    Mudcakes avatar
    65 posts
    2 March 2021 in reply to geoff

    I’m allowed to reply back to fellow lgbt people because I am lgbt and offer legitimate understanding support. 🏳️‍🌈

    You are not. The fact that you’re giving advice about something so hard and personal where lgbt people have felt overpowered by straight people, is just not ok and to repeatedly state you’re straight.😳😫 I went on here needing advice and support from fellow lgbt people who understand what I’m going through and to get advice from a Cis straight male does not make me comfortable. Cishet people should not be invading lgbt spaces and giving advice unless it’s to another parent like themselves who their child has come out to them. I’m sorry but it’s like giving advice about racism to a black person when you’re white. That’s all I’m going to say and I’m guessing many others feel the same way.

  21. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5527 posts
    3 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes
    Hi Everyone,

    We appreciate the community coming together to support Mudcakes in this thread. We’d like to further acknowledge the unique life experiences and adversities faced by individuals who identify as part of the LGBTIQ community.

    We are stepping in to remind the community of our guidelines for posting in this section of the forums which can be found here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/sexuality-and-gender-identity/important-information-and-guidelines-for-posting-in-this-section  

    It is important to highlight that this section of the forums is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people to connect and engage with each other about issues related to gender identity and sexual orientation in relation to one’s mental health and overall wellbeing.

    Individuals who may not identify as part of this community are welcome to support others in this forum provided, they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space.

    For further information and resources for and about LGBTIQ people we’d encourage you to visit our resource page here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/who-does-it-affect/lesbian-gay-bi-trans-and-intersex-lgbti-people 

    If you have any further questions, concerns, and or feedback about posting in this section, please feel free to contact the moderation team at modsupport@beyondblue.org.au .
     
    2 people found this helpful
  22. Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope
    Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope avatar
    23 posts
    11 March 2021 in reply to Mudcakes

    You are so brave!!

    I am bi curious too so i just want to send you lots of rainbow love

    🌈🌈🌈🌈

    1 person found this helpful

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