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Forums / Sexuality and gender identity / Where do I go from here?

Topic: Where do I go from here?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Jake
    Jake avatar
    1 posts
    19 May 2013

    Hi, i'm relatively new to the entire mental health situation and would really appreciate some advice, i think it would be nice to get advice from as many different people as i can. 

    I am currently struggling with rather heavy anxiety and am at a high risk of developing depression if it continues. My mental state at the moment is depressed by I am not jumping to conclusions right away. At the moment i have very few people i can confide in due to the complexity of my problems. Firstly, I'm eighteen years old and have recently (past 6 months) been hit with the realisation that i'm bisexual, which was rather a shock as i thought i was straight for almost 17 years. This occured when i fell in love with my best friend, who isn't aware of this love, and my mental state has been deteriorating rapidly since then. I am seeing a psychologist regarding these isues (also including generalised anxiety not relating to what i just mentioned) and progress is slow at the moment, and i am feeling a bit helpless. I have faced anxiety my entire life and i'm now at the moment where i'm sick of oretending things or okay. I struggle to get through the 2 weeks of school between each appointment and am just seeking some comfort in the words of other people. All i am really interested in is if people have had any similar experiences, and whether it would be best to continue pretending and acting to be happy for the sake of my friends and family or act how i truly feel, even though i do not want to appear attention seeking. I would appreciate it if anybody has time for some comforting words, thanks

  2. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15314 posts
    20 May 2013 in reply to Jake

    dear Jake, knock knock, whose their, Mr. Anxiety calling, come on in, I'm Mr Depression thanks for joining us all. LOL

    Sorry but this is true, anxiety is a form of depression, it's one of the many side shoots from this illness, and this also includes your generalised anxiety. I just wonder whether there is a link between this and the feeling of being bi-sexual. It maybe hidden somewhere and the association might be something that you don't recognise.

    As we mature our thoughts change and because these have changed your sexual orientation, this doesn't put you last on the pecking order, as there isn't one and there shouldn't be one.

    If someone can climb to Mt. Everest and you don't, but then you have a perfect mathematically mind, who is considered the best, no one.

    The question I am asking is because someone is hetersexual, is he better than someone who is gay or bi-sexual, OK, point taken, some do judge people, but if you feel comfortable the way you feel then that's the most important part.

    The more you hide your feelings the bigger the chance of your depression escalating, and this then leads to more problems.

    I have two sons, one is married, but the younger one isn't, but if they came home  either today or years ago saying that they were bi-sexual or gay, so what, they are still my sons, it wouldn't mean that I would love them less than I do today.

    It's just the way how your life has turned out to be, I wouldn't condemn you, and I wouldn't want to drill into you that it's not 'normal'.

    What is normal in life, nothing, because everybody has their own ideas. Geoff.

  3. lostandconfused
    lostandconfused avatar
    6 posts
    20 May 2013 in reply to Jake

    Dear Jake,

    I went through a similar problem in deciding wether to act how I felt or pretend to be happy. I found that acting like myself in the places I was most comfortable gave me a large feeling of relief even with the way I was feeling. Have you tried talking to the school counsellor? I found that helped me. You may not tell then everything but you could share the most important things on your mind and it may help just getting through the weeks you can't see your psychologist. As for slow progress, I understand that too, but they tell me that that's how it is and you just have to be patient. Which is unfortunate. 

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