Emmen welcome to this thread and thanks for your post.

Let me know if you learn how to manage time

White Rose I like marzipan especially covered in chocolate, areal secret pleasure. Today's learning, I like that as a heading. thanks.

Todays Learning I have learnt that I can change how I feel so a miserable morning does not mean a miserable day.

It is so interesting reading highlights and frustrations .

Hi Quirky & all,

Thanks again for this space :)

Mary: I agree that depression can zap motivation & can make basic daily activities challenging, let alone finding the drive to look for meaning.

But, biochemistry & life circumstances aside, I also wonder if it’s also a bit of a chicken or egg scenario. I wonder if it’s (sometimes) a lack of personal meaning that contributes towards mental health issues, or whether mental health issues makes it harder to find personal meaning. I don’t think it’s a straightforward answer...

I completely agree with you that meaning is highly personal though :)

Quirky: I agree that meaning can’t be forced on anyone. I also agree that pressuring people to look for meaning after a traumatic event can be unhelpful or upsetting.

But I suppose it’s really an individual thing. Some people will want to look for a “higher purpose” as their way to cope, whereas other people want to focus more on managing the practicalities of daily life or asking people to listen to their stories (or even something else entirely).

I think it really depends on the person.

Highlights: this happened last night, but I want to share it today. I’m grateful for my friends.

I chatted (virtually) with a friend & we commiserated about how much we are struggling with social isolation. Even though we both agree that social isolation is necessary to contain COVID-19, we are both finding it enormously difficult.

Of course I don’t want her to be suffering, but at the same time, it’s comforting to know that other people feel the same way as me.

Frustrations: the usual...laughs, I won’t even bother repeating it as it must be so repetitive to read.

Lessons: this month (& a bit) of social isolation where I haven’t seen my friends/family in person has taught me some important lessons about how awful isolation & loneliness feels...I only talk to them virtually due to COVID-19

I’m experiencing an iota of what people with chronic isolation/loneliness feel, yet I’m already finding it so hard. So I can only imagine how awful chronic social isolation or loneliness must be

Opportunities: I know when the pandemic ends/restrictions lift, I can return to normal life & see colleagues 5 days each week & my friends/family 2-4 times each week.

But I also realise that isn’t a reality some people.

I don’t know how, but I would like to do something to combat loneliness at a community or societal level. I genuinely think it’s a societal failing.

Pepper

Hello Pepper

What a great post. Yes indeed, meaning is so personal. Motivation is a chicken and egg situation. When I broke my kneecap I got around on crutches for a while. I told myself I could not exercise as it would hurt. I bet you've heard that one before. I was also deeply depressed at the time. However the enforced rest did give me time to think and with the encouragement of the physio I starting doing the prescribed exercises. Well it took ages to get the muscles, on both legs, strong again. It would have been so easy to give up and go on the downward spiral and I was so glad I made the effort.

But this is the point isn't it? We need to break through that motivation barrier and that's not easy without the encouragement of friends, family and professionals. What motivates one person leaves another cold. Sigh.

Absolutely some people live with chronic loneliness and isolation. I'm not entirely certain what we can do other than find an organisation that can put us in touch with isolated people so we can give some meaning to their lives. It is most definitely a societal failing.

Mary

Thanks Pepper and White Rose for your great posts. Thanks to everyone sharing their thoughts.

Being stuck: I think I am still grieving my loss from the bushfires and I may very well do for a long time. I feel we put pressure on ourselves because we feel pressure for others. There is no use by date for suffering.

Thinking of others: I feel self absorbed at times but do think of others and volunteer and try to share my experience.

Connections: How can our society make sure people are connected and not isolated.? What can I do to help this happen.

Hi Quirky & all,

Mary: Thank you so much for your reply. I enjoyed reading your reflections & insights.

I imagine breaking you kneecap was not only a physical challenge (very painful), but also a psychological challenge. A battle of the body (& mind) to recover.

I’m so glad you found the motivation to persist at healing. I feel that’s something to feel proud very of doing.

Sigh, yes, chronic loneliness & isolation is a huge problem. Even on the forums here, I’ve lost count of the no. of times that I have seen the word “lonely” on threads (even long before COVID-19)?

Now of course, that feeling has increased about 200-fold...

I think it’s complex & I have no easy solutions. I think it partly also depends on the type of loneliness.

For example, someone who has a network of friends/family/partner but does not feel heard or understood (& therefore feels lonely) will probably need a different type of support than a person who is lonely due to geographical isolation.

But overall, I think the antidote to loneliness is always connection, but the type of connection is what needs to be personalised...

Quirky: I’m so sorry about the bushfires. I think you’re entitled to your feelings. You’re entitled to your grief. You’re allowed to feel whatever you feel & for however long...

As Daniell Koepke said in her quote “you don’t owe anyone a performance of being okay.”

Today

Highlights: I’m so grateful to friends who immediately made offers of FaceTime chats when they heard I was struggling :)

Frustrations: the same (laughs).

Opportunities: As for tackling loneliness, I think we can each start at the local level. If every person checks in on their workmates/family/friends who live alone or who don’t have a good support network. Of course, that has to be virtual or via phone call during the pandemic

I mean, not just checking in on them as a one-off (or when I “feel like it” or happen to be bored) then forget them for the next 3 months. But checking in regularly to make sure they are okay, I think that’s a good start.

I think consistency is important :)

Kindness & care,

Pepper

Good morning everyone!

Highlights - I got a free coffee from my local coffee shop! I feel humbled with people do nice things for me. Left me thinking treat people the way you want to be treated and good things will happen.

Frustrations: Since working from home - I havent been sleeping properly. I've been sleeping, but its been kinda restless? For the last week Ive had the same dream - being locked up in a cell/bunker and trying to find ways out haha.

Fun - My partner and I started playing a co-op game on the playstation. Its going well... so far haha.

One thing I can change - being more open minded and trying to relax a little more.

Hi everyone

pepper I feel we all need to be able not to perform to show others we are ok when we arenot.

BB forum is a great place to be totally honest.

Opportunities I think that caring for others is crucial but we should not be forced or guilted into it.

As a society it would be wonderful for it to be second nature reach out those who are isolated and lonely

Hey Quirky and thanks for the great thread topic :-)

Highlights.....the staff at my local Woolworths supermarket for being the angels they are! Seeing you provide the best care/support to so many on the Coping during the Coronavirus thread..(thats you Quirky!)

Frustrations...a family member that refuses to see a counsellor (GP..Psychiatrist..Psychologist..MHW) and is going through chronic anxiety attacks in her 50's...It breaks my heart that some people place pride before their own well being...Its sad yet commonplace

Lessons...Learning how to post effectively from Mary (White Rose) since I joined...Mary was online when I joined and I have learned so much from her where respect and style is concerned..thankyou Mary x

my kindest always

Paul

Thanks for the compliment Paul.

I sympathise with you Paul about your family member. It may be fear that holds this person back. Seeing a psychiatrist or similar has connotations of being crazy. We know that's not true but sadly the fear of finding out they have something dreadful is very real. It's good to look back and remember how we felt the first time we were referred to any kind of therapy. I know I was very nervous.

Highlights so far today. A small group of neighbours, with appropriate distancing, listened to the Dawn Service via one neighbour's phone attached to a small speaker. We all took candles. It was certainly a different Anzac Day service. I found it very personal being in such a small group and no doubt the current circumstances of the world added to that.

Lesson? We definitely need each other and we can still keep up contact though it may take some creativity to do so.

Mary

Thanks everyone,

Paul thanks for your kind words and for adding the category Lessons.

Mary, I liked your description of your Anzac day modified get together.

so far today

Highlights I watched a daughter prepare a little drive ceremony for her Vietnam veteran dad. She has got up early and spent hours making poppies and preparing the driveway.

Frustrations that indigenous people were not until recently recognised for their service and many are still waiting for medals for their relatives.

Lessons: We need to realise now there are homeless people , people living in very rundown accommodation and not everyone can enjoy slowing down and being creative .

what I have noticed about my self, I am trying to be more honest when I am not coping instead of saying I am fine, all is good.

Hello everyone

What has happened in your life over last few days that you would like to share.

Opportunities I have been given an opportunity to learn more about writing online but I am worried that I may find it too much for me but am giving it a go.

Last few weeks has been pretty much the same, been forgetting what day it is! I've been trying to do things to keep active and break up the day a bit.

I had a great psych session on sunday!

I have an idea for a new instagram page!

hello everyone, it is raining here.

Gambit, I am glad you have an idea for an Instagram page. I don't understand Instagram I do Facebook but that's all.

Highlights. I am writing every day using a book about discovering my creativity at may age.

Confused. I am not sure why all the states cant have the same rules and its confusing with some easing restrictions and others not.

Opportuntites. I wonder how many people are discovering parts of themselves they never knew. I am working through my grief and learning patience.

What are you learning about yourself that you didn't know about yourself.

Hi Quirky and everyone!

Facebook and instagram are very similar. Instagram is more about the pictures.

Highlights - The highlight of my day is leaving my home office for the day and going for a walk to the river.

Frustrations - working from home. I have discovered its not for me! If it was for only a day or 2 a week I could cope but im really having trouble with it. I'm trying to get out and about more but also trying to observe social distancing. I get a little anxious if I think im not social distancing enough.

I'm learning that I need human interaction. Its weird, I consider myself an ambivert and I thought I would love working from home - I dont like it very much at all. As much as I find dealing with people in general tiring (especially customers) I kinda need it! I need the office environment, I need to be able to talk to my co workers, I need to be able to interact in a face to face social environment. Theres things like face time and zoom and things like that but I don't get the same out of those interactions as I would if it were face to face - I hopeim making sense haha.

Gambit and everyone

feel we are all ambiverts a mixture of introvert and extrovert.

miss hugs and human contact of my grand child. I am a stay at home type but now when it everyone else is in same boat it seems different.

Emotions. I see on other threads that people are getting angry and frustrated.

I wonder what people do when you feel yourself getting angry or overreacting?

What works?

As humans we all need social connection. I think the difference with introverts and extroverts is the type of connection. Extroverts are comfortable in large groups and need a lot of social interaction. Introverts need some time alone but need more 1 on one contact with people they are close to or comfortable with. I feel VERY isolated in large gatherings where everyone is talking to each other. I feel I don't belong. Even at family gatherings I much prefer time talking with one person in a corner or in the kitchen. I crave that time with my children & grandchildren face to face.

Sometimes I have to get out and go for a walk when I'm getting angry or overreacting. i had to turn off the radio the other day when badly triggered by something. It was too upsetting for me to even speak to my husband. i had to go to a room on my own and try to distract myself until I calmed down.

i have instagram but i like. i follow some close friends, i follow a shitton of sand cutting accounts because man that hits me right in the stims, i follow the account that my cousin manages for her dog captain because i am truly in love with the tiny blond thing that looks like a sausage dog but.. isnt?? i check it once in a blue moon and mostly to watch sand cutting and look at pics of captain licking off a popsicle stick. i recently remade my twitter but that's mostly for personal reasons and ditching some. people. and even though im much more active on there im truly a horrible person to follow because ill be radio silent for four days then retweet a shitton of art from w/e game im currently thinking about then leave again

no highlights because i can't seem to think of any

frustrations: since quarantine my ears have always been ringing and my head is always pounding but its getting worse again. why

fun: instead of putting my playlist on shuffle i was doing my math hw while listening to the mcelroy brothers will be in trolls world tour as like, hm. maybe a toast to how the film industry is being torn up by the realisation the way its distributing movies in this day and age is flawed and outdated and for some reason it's the goddamn sequel to that movie where anna kendrick and justin timberlake are trolls belting out pop numbers that revealed this massive gaping hole. i really suggest you look up all the discourse rn around it because its not only actually really interesting its also so Weird. anyways circling back to the mcelroy brothers will be in trolls world tour i kept thinking this wouldve been a lot more funnier if i watched this when it was an ongoing series and not when they have gotten the roles because of how utterly confident they are even in narration. they are very set in off this one time they got high off edibles that they will be in trolls 2 and everyone they pull up to ask will suffer through this. they questioned the voice actress who played korra from the legend of korra and the only real part that registered that chapter was her talking about her awful habit of adding "but" to the end of sentences that don't really need it

one thing that surprised me: april has gone by so fast. and i only realised this when i saw people posting its gonna be me by nsync but that one part he twangs really southly and says me like may. oh okay its the 30th. okay

a bonus thing that has surprised me: i am talking about justin timberlake a lot in one post

Hi Quirky and everyone

I wonder what people do when you feel yourself getting angry or overreacting?

What works?

I havent been getting angry or overreacting, I've gets feelings of being overwhelmed and tense mostly and I feel this comes from working from home whilst living at home (if that makes sense) and not being able to get out and about.

When I have these feelings I go down to the river and sit there or go for a walk along the river. That hour I spend makes so much difference. I also meditate, do things like crosswords and watch funny tv shows.

Hello Gambit87

Sounds like you have worked out a good way to manage your frustration. Working from home sounds like a great proposition until the reality happens. We do need to be with other people and being at work answers this need. Even just being in the same space as others is good. When people retire from work I feel this is the biggest shock, seeing very few people for days.

Mary

Hello everyone. Mary and Gambit thanks for your input to the thread.

think with a few changes are happening people are feeling a bit confused.

Highlights I saw my grand child for first time in 5 weeks today.

Frustration I am not sure when I will see her again and I will probably not be asked to her birthday if guidelines don't change.

One thing I can change I can try not to react to every piece of feewdback that I feel is negative but may not be

One thing that surprised me I felt quite low after seeing my daughter

Lessons/opportunities I find my tiredness stops my ability to think of opportunities but I am aware many people are feeling very alone and confused

Hi Quirky and all :-)

Thanks again for your warm Dear Diary topic and the question you asked above 'I wonder what people do when you feel yourself getting angry or overreacting?'...I dont really get angry or overreact yet like many other people I feel frustration when someone is patronising towards me...Good question Quirky!

Thankyou Mary for your help with my sibling that refuses any counselling and our fear of seeing a counsellor when we are diagnosed. I hear you loud and clear there Mary...My sister has joined the local Anglican church (St Lukes) and they dont think the way you and I do at all....There is only so much I can do at this time

Paul

Quirky Your comments sound like me except I saw my grandchildren for the first time since February so 9 weeks yesterday.

Frustration & what surprised me

Like you I also felt low afterwards. For me it was a combination of not knowing when I could next see them combined with sadness seeing the way they are forced to live because of the restrictions. In Victoria there is no plans to get students back to school this term. My Dtr & SIL are running their own business and struggling financially so my dtr has to work but is still forced to homeschool the kids. The 4 yr old is now missing kinder and the toddler is unable to get the attention he needs because my dtr is spending so much time working & home schooling. The toddler has become very clingy & disruptive. The 6 year old needs a lot of help with his school work. The lessons are on line but he doesn't have skills to follow the instructions on the i pad.

Highlight We went for a walk after lunch when the rain stopped. In that setting I could be the normal grandma they are used to (rather than grumpy grandma trying to get them to do school work). We had a geology lesson as they kept bringing me rocks and wanted to know what they were. Some how the discussion turned to how diamonds were made. They wanted to try making one but I had trouble explaining the amount of pressure and time required to do this!!!!

One thing I can change My psych is encouraging me to be more accepting when my motivation is low. I tend to feel bad thinking I'm just letting myself get worse. Last night I arrived home exhausted after babysitting. Rather than pushing myself I reheated some food in the fridge for tea and sat and watched TV for a while before attempting anything else. When I thought of things I needed to do I reminded myself that I was doing what my psych told me i listening to my body & mind & resting was more important than anything else. Small steps but important.

Lesson Doing what my body needs ie resting is better than pushing through & snapping & losing my temper.

when i was in year 5 i had this three day trip to bathurst as like a gold rush thing and took the max amount of 20 bucks to buy souvenirs. on the first day we visited a fossil and mineral museum and blew the entire 20 on gift shop stones and gems. it was uhh a block of rose quartz, peacock ore, an obsidian arrow, and garnet bc thats my birthstone. one of the teachers apparently did some work as a jeweller before teaching and was explaining the meaning of them to any inquiring students and i said i felt bad about wasting all my souvenir money on the first day and she said so firmly "don't say that. gems are one of the most valuable and precious gifts money can buy." and it made me feel very proud of myself for that. all the other souvenirs were pretty shit tbh so i actually dont regret. she left the school that year but i still think of that teacher who knew her stuff about jewellery

in nsw gladys was declaring week 3 students are going to return to school but... one day a week. and then they're going to build it up to two days or three days but if that causes cases to go up it could all go undone. i was nervous about man i can finally get taught physically because online has me like learning disability noises and ive been missing just. the physicality of it. they had a whole zoom conference on wednesday night about it except mama was yelling at me the whole time about how she couldn't get in and you're not helping but from the snippets of what we heard its... doing the same goddamn remote learning except you're at the school. thats what they did in term 1 with "don't come to school unless you have to" and i remember week 10 and 11 the only kid attending was a little year 7 with medical workers for parents and he was just herded up into the library and given a laptop. the school wants all of us to be on zoom like every minute webcams mics on so they can see what we're doing except i dont think most teachers know it and the one who brought it up to us saw say in chat "that's such bullshit" and he immediately agreed with me. i dont even have a webcam or a mic. they never asked us that in the remote learning survey. suddenly they want everyone to get a school laptop too and like... im fine with my desktop man. im fine with my desktop. we'd talk a lot about covid and the media in science class when closures loomed over us and he told us even as public schools they're given little direction by the govt. don't ask any of them whats happening we dont know

Hello everyone,

Mary and Gambit thanks for your input .

Highlights I saw my granddaughter yesterday for first time

Frustration I just lost my post because I left it to long and changed pages!!!

Hello everyone

Always pleased to read your dear diary posts or and write an answer to the questions if you want to?

I am wondering what is one thing you wanted to do while at home that you have no done ye?

Do you think you will get around it and if not why not?

Highlights I have found the program Lego Master lots of fun watching skilled people design and make amazing objects.

Thank you for this thread, I’ve read through and it’s lovely to hear everyone’s voices through their writing.

May I join in?

My first entry isn’t very cheerful, I’m sorry. But it does reflect how strange things are and how I feel this week. The good and not so good.

Highlight: My daughter-in-law FaceTimed from UK

Frustrations: A struggle with the aftermath of the online vid chat. If you can call it frustration. I feel very, very down. We are so far away - I really do live to see them, to visit the UK - I set a date and I can see a goal. Having missed my son throughout his childhood to young adulthood... every year counts to me.

I hate not having a time frame set to visit. I hate it.

Fun: Not sure if it was actually fun, but me and the husband had a drive around our regions nurseries today, within a 30 minute drive radius. Bought and planted herbs. Realised I’ll need a small fortune to ‘hedge’ our property. Yikes.

Things I can change:
I’m clearly depressed right now, but I’m not broken. Kind of floating. I actually can’t change anything right now, as in today - just get through these days and hours with moments of focus on beauty.

I need to up my walking routine.

Things that surprised me:

The patience and sweet cheering up type things my husband is finding for us to do. I don’t walk around being glum and moody - but he knows something is amiss. I had a big bolt of love stuff well up today for him.

Phoebe everyone is welcome here

Thanks for joining in. I suppose like many here there are ups and downs. I like they way you have insights into your emotions.

plants are expensive I want to plane lavender as I had lot of them in my old place.

Observations I think many are getting restless wanting things to go back to what they were.

just seem so tired and feel I can't cope with changes but somehow I do.

f you are reading for first time just write any things about your day , you don't have to use headings or you can make up your own.

Hi Quirky & all,

I just wanted to lay down some thoughts bothering me. I hope that’s okay...

Thoughts/reflections/concerns: I know restrictions are starting to lift around the country, which is both good and bad.

I think there are both benefits and concerns...

The irony is at my work, we have had some new cases & some of my colleagues are in isolation due to direct exposure...we knew it was almost inevitable but it’s still confronting when it happens...

Meanwhile, we see restrictions lifting around the country...it’s all very confusing to me. The more somber mood at work versus the celebratory mood of restrictions being lifted.

I don’t know how I feel about it all yet...

I have concerns about a possible serious 2nd wave, and I also have concerns about what that will mean within the context of my job...

Time will tell...

Kindness and care to all,

Pepper

Today marks eight long weeks since I had to turn tail on a visit to my son and friends in the UK and return back to isolation.

Pepper, I’m not ‘at risk’ but like you, I feel a sense of unease re the lifting of restrictions and the likelihood of a second wave.

On the one hand it makes sense to start lifting the lockdown, on the other hand I believe it is a strategic move that accepts we are bound for unknown territory, so we may as well just get on with it and deal with it.

Anyway, that’s how it feels to me.

I live on an acreage and am not in danger of spreading the virus if I stay put ( and that’s no real hardship 🙂) but am deeply aware of the accountability of wider movement.

And I am struggling with my need to ‘get out’ and interact..along with the sense of nothing being truly normal once I am out...and how movement raises the stakes of viral spread.

Thoughts and reflections today:

This period has been such a mix.

My head and heart seems to turn over from inner serenity to inner despair in far too many rapid cycles.

Too many hours to think and ponder.

Oh boy.

I need to make a real effort to get walking - which is great for my mental health.

Highlights:

My relationship with my husband has found a new level of tenderness and acceptance during lockdown.

We still fire off, but very, very quickly forgive and forget. He has been incredibly kind and gentle with me.

Its not always been that way 😉

Hi Quirky & all,

Phoebe: yes, I agree that there’s a lot to weigh up. I feel there are no easy solutions, but I think it’s good that you’re thinking about it carefully.

I think there are pros & cons as restrictions start to lift. I think maybe geography plays a role too. I think it’s also very different for rural v coastal v regional v city dwellers. Staying home on a large property is different to staying home in a city apartment, for example.

I don’t think there are easy answers or solutions...

Also, I think profession plays a role too. My doctor friend won’t be running amok when restrictions lift. He is in contact with positive cases as he treats some of them, so he has temporarily moved out of his home to avoid potentially infecting his partner.

I know a number of doctors who have done the same...it’s hard. A double whammy of not just significantly elevated stress & fatigue but not being able to turn to their usual supports after work makes it even harder. Plus medicine has a work culture of soldiering on & not asking for help. It’s hard.

But it is what it is...sighs...

You take care of yourself, Phoebe :)

Highlights: Art and creativity is my saving grace at the moment.

Frustrations: I’m annoying with almost everything & everyone. The smallest things are sending me into an emotional rage.

I am both officially and unofficially Over It.

kindness and care,

Pepper