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Forums / Staying well / Difficulties getting out of the house

Topic: Difficulties getting out of the house

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    4 July 2019

    Hi everyone,

    I have anxiety and depression - although it is the anxiety that is the real kicker.

    I am off work at the moment. My lovely husband works (a lot), so I spend most of the day and evenings alone (but with my beloved dogs). I'm in the position where I don't like being alone, but I also don't want to go out.

    I'm wondering what strategies you used to get out of the house? It sounds like such a simple thing, but it's something I'm really struggling with. And the struggle I think further increases my anxiety - the thought that others can do it- why can't you?

    Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am very thankful for this forum as it makes me feel not so alone.

    Sophie

    2 people found this helpful
  2. vivi s
    vivi s avatar
    1 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    Sophie, I am really sorry you are feeling lonely and isolated. I hear you. I went thro similar situation and hard to even get out of the couch. May I suggest make a nice reason to get out of the house? Something for you? Maybe book a nail session? Go to a library and lend some books of a hobby you like?

    I know its hard but if you break the first wall and get out, you will feel a great feeling of accomplishment.

    Take care of yourself pls xx

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9047 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    Hello SophieM,

    Welcome to the forums...

    I can relate to not wanting to go out even though you don’t want to be alone....I’ve been struggling so long with the thought of going out and meeting new people...My anxiety had kept me at home for a long time...

    I volunteered with a local Charity store one day a week..at first it was so hard for me to go...some days I never went because I couldn’t make myself go outside....Slowly this is changing and it’s easier to go out and to my volunteer work...Is that something you might consider?....

    Is their any groups in your area, that your interested in..maybe you could ring first and speak to the co-ordination of the group to get to know them before you go....

    Another thought is maybe a dog walking group...If they walk on a lead...My two don’t but I’m trying hard to teach them....what kind of dogs do you have...only if you want to share..I have 2 little Maltese x Yorkshire....I live alone with my 2 fur companions....

    I have a few different mh issues and anxiety is a hard one to manage for me....I’m doing gradual exposure therapy atm...which means I try to go outside on my own and sometimes walk the length of my yard, sometimes I’m braver and go further.....Just baby steps..one at a time...

    Please try as hard as you can to not think of others doing things that you find hard to do...everyone’s different, some find things easy and others find things harder and I agree that it can make our anxiety worse...

    Please be gentle and kind to you dear Sophie...

    Talk here anytime you feel up to it....

    Kind thoughts and caring hugs🤗...if that’s okay and you like hugs..🤗💖.

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  4. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to vivi s

    Hi Vivi,

    Thank you for the advice. I took your advice and made a hair appointment - something to look forward to and it will make me get out of the house as I won't want to cancel it :)

    Thank you very much for the post:)

    Sophie

    1 person found this helpful
  5. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Thanks for your response and the kind words and hugs.

    I have sausage dogs. They are very cheeky and make me smile.

    I like the idea of volunteering -it would give me some structure perhaps...and also going to the local library i think would be good.

    I think it is hard to not compare myself to others... and worry what others will think of me since I am on leave from work. Is this something you have also struggled with? I struggle with the idea of putting my own health needs first and not jumping straight back into work.

    Again - thanks so much for the response. It was very kind.

    Sophie

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9047 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    Hello Sophie,

    There was a time I used to compare me to others..Wishing I was them laughing and being happy, going out when I wanted to instead of taking sometimes hours to get outside...it made it worse for me in the way that I would start putting myself down..thinking how hopeless I was....I feel it’s important to accept our mental health, anxiety, depression, etc...and be the best person we can be....and not try to compare ourselves...I think by comparing ourselves we wish we could be them instead of who we are...that’s just my opinion only.....

    While my children were at home and my hubby alive..they were my first priority...Since I’ve been on my own..Idk..it’s hard to look after me properly..I am still after nearly 6 years missing looking after and caring for someone other then me....I think because that was the bulk of my life....I struggle with ptsd as well as anxiety and a few more so called labels...I try to do my best when I’m feeling okay, and other times I am not so good at looking after my health.....

    I was pleased to read that you booked in to get your hair done...I hope so much that you can relax and just enjoy the moment when getting your hair done....

    Our fur babies are good at getting us to smile...with their funny antics....I’m pleased that you have them for when your home alone...They make us not so lonely....

    Good night lovely Sophie....I hope you sleep deep and are refreshed when you wake up....

    Kind thoughts and caring hugs.🤗.

    Grandy

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Guest5643
    Guest5643 avatar
    460 posts
    4 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    Hi sophie.

    If you can afford is there a nice local cafe that allows dogs outside? Or a nice park to take the dogs? Lynne

    1 person found this helpful
  8. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    5 July 2019 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Thank you for the lovely post. I have started taking some medication to help me with sleeping at night, and it is definitely helping.

    Yes our furbabies are very funny with their antics. They definitely help with the feeling of loneliness.

    xx Sophie

    1 person found this helpful
  9. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    5 July 2019 in reply to Guest5643

    Hi Lynne,

    Thanks - that is an excellent idea. I know there is a cafe nearby that people take their dogs to as part of their walks... I should give it a try.

    Thanks again

    Sophie

    1 person found this helpful
  10. SophieM
    SophieM avatar
    12 posts
    7 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    I figured I would 'reply' to myself as a way of keeping track on what I am doing. So I did go to the hairdresser and also did a lunch with friends...It's an effort (and takes so much energy to work up to - and then recover from) but I know it is doing me good.

    I'm kind of terrified of returning to work though. I don't have to go back for a while - but I find even the thought of it super stressful...

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9047 posts
    7 July 2019 in reply to SophieM

    Hello Sophie...

    Its heartwarming to hear that you went to the hairdresser and did lunch with a friend....Yes it is hard to get out their and sometimes even harder to recover from it...Well done......your doing really a good job...

    I don’t work anymore..I do volunteer..a day a week...and that’s hard sometimes for me to do....Please sweety...try not to think about going back to work...especially if it’s not for a while yet...Can I ask you if you want to share..is it your anxiety making you terrified of returning to work....or something else....only if you want to talk..

    Good night lovely lady....I hope tonight you sleep good and restful and have sweet peaceful dreams...hugs dear Sophie...🤗🤗💖.

    Grandy.

    1 person found this helpful

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