I've been in this situation, I wasn't into horses, I was into model airplanes and stayed awake till 2am building them, I loved it. Then flew them, crashed them, on weekends.
At marriage counselling, my partner brought up the topic. I explained it all, then the counsellor turned to my partner- "so, do you have a passion"? . "No" she replied. It was clear that her lack of a passion was equally a problem than me having one. I'll explain.
It just highlighted how difficult relationships get on both sides when a passion is involved.
A few thoughts-
- Their interest in horses is permanent. Once a horsey person always...
- Moving to a property with say 5+ acres would actually save on feed that is expensive.
- A passion sadly often causes neglect of other things, her car is an example
- There is livable remedies.
I hear you about your forthcoming retirement however, their happiness is just as important as your happiness. Buying another property might mean moving further out for low price.
At the new mini farm your interests could extend to fencing, chooks, your own hobby, doing a hay run, etc, depending on what you are good at.
Compromising can take place if your wife hears your proposal. Like- purchasing a vehicle purely to tow the float and cart feed meaning a small tray truck, a used one? . Smart moves might include brainstorming others in similar situations.
The tone of my reply leans towards you bending more than them simply because the opposite won't work. Such is the "power of the passion". But it doesn't have to be so one sided, talk, negotiate, have their happiness in mind and once retired by then have your interests listed and pursue them. Ensure you both commit to "us time" even coffee or lunch at a Cafe in town one morning a week. We've found variety the key.
I'm 65yo. We just finished building our own home ourselves. Recently we started building a train set and slot car set combined. My wife does all the buildings and painting. Her passion is caravanning and mine is vintage cars. Few years ago we bought an old car and built the caravan to suit it. We aren't club people but if we were there's men's sheds and sporting clubs you might consider.
All this will depend on attitudes but your best chance is accommodating their lifestyle by enhancing it. Hopefully, she'll respond with agreeing with the details.
I hope I've sparked some ideas and reply anytime if you wish.