You likely know the feeling. It included crying probably uncontrollably, everything is doomed, your life, your family and friends. You might see all others as having a happy life while you wallow in your tears.

I've been there many times yet I've stumbled on some ideas that might help you break out of that feeling.

The first and most important action you can make is doing two things at once. These are- a change of environment and thoughts centred on who means the most to you. ok, you are extremely upset for whatever reason and you are alone in your car or in your bedroom. Stand up, start thinking about your children or your dearest friend and walk. If you are in a car lock it up and walk.

You return to your car or your room. Pick up a biro and paper. Begin writing. It doesn't matter what you write but make it nice, and positive even better if it rhymes.

Basic, rhyme, meaning etc. This will move your mind to better things. Do this for at least half an hour. Go for a short walk. Take deep breaths.

This next action is called "decision time". You have by now relaxed and no longer crying. What ever your upset was caused from you need to have at least some sort of answer in the way of action.

Then its loved ones time. Respect them by notifying them. Don't let them worry.

Recovery time. Try to think about a happy time.

Sometimes we need a process to which we can go through so as to get to "the other side". We aren't taught this in schools. When we get pregnant we read up in books or attend prenatal classes to learn about the process. When we go parachuting we go through a training session. In everything we do we learn first. But when we are distraught no one has taught us the process of recovering from being desperately upset.

Above is my survival routine. I haven't used those steps for a long time now as I'm settled, medically stable and happy. But I know it can still happen in a moment.  Change- means change of environment thinking of the ones you love. Write - write down anything, try to make it rhyme. Notify - let loved ones know you are ok. Plan- make decisions to avoid further upset.  Recovery - think happy moments. Divert your mind from sadness. Don't allow it to go to places you want to avoid.

That's in desperate moments. Then there is self help. Go to a GP. Also plan your life to achieve goals. Be positive.

At the end of the day you have the means to improve your life to make it the life you crave for.

Tony WK

Here's an idea totally out of left field, inspired by your writing idea. I was lucky enough to go to the David Bowie exhibition in Melbourne at the weekend, and one of the things he used to do to write songs was a thing called the 'cut up' technique, which renowned authors like William Buroughs used to do.  As a fun activity at the exhibition, they provided pages from magazines, books, leaflets etc for you to cut out random phrases and paste them onto a new sheet to create lyrics and poems of your own. I haven't had so much fun in ages!  A very mindful activity and a new way to be creative and have fun with words. Give it a try!

Hi JessF, good to hear from you again,

I reckon that would be great especially with people that feel they have no ability to rhyme or make music.

Imagination must play a big part in creating unique rhythm. Few years ago for example I left my doctors surgery very melancholy over how wonderful his treatment and level of care was. So I thought about it and felt he lifted black clouds off my mind.  Hence the following-

BLACK CLOUDS DANCING

It takes a special kind of man

To sense the hurt and grief

Unlike other ‘mates’ I see

Smiling in the street

They beat their chests all day

But never see the harm

Conquer another nameless lady

Then return to farm  

No wonder we men bang our heads on trees

Beside us an empty seat

Few mates take the time to know

Nor take the time to greet  

You took the time to trust

You took the time to ask

It wasn’t easy for me to admit

That I couldn’t do the task  

You saw the black clouds dancing

Just above my head

Tinted it grey then blew them away

By using tact instead

  It takes a special kind of doctor

To sense the hurt, the harm, the grief

Thank you for not being like the others

                -that smile in the street….  

Tony WK