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Forums / Staying well / What is something genuinely insignificant that has been bothering you lately?

Topic: What is something genuinely insignificant that has been bothering you lately?

14 posts, 0 answered
  1. est72
    est72 avatar
    8 posts
    23 August 2021
    It could be anything: maybe someone you don't know too well has been more distant than usual or maybe you're growing concerned about something that you feel is simply a small health problem. Maybe you've just lost an object and you've been struggling to find it for a while. Feel free to rant about something small that has been bugging you, even though it may feel unimportant in comparison to other struggles you or someone else has been dealing with lately without feeling bad for complaining about it.
    1 person found this helpful
  2. est72
    est72 avatar
    8 posts
    23 August 2021
    I'm not 100% sure, but I feel as if my asthma has been playing up recently. For a few nights in a row, I've been struggling to take full deep breaths and it takes a lot of focus to yawn properly. I'm a little sick of the taste of the asthma puffer and being lightheaded from it. I'm hoping it will pass, but if it persists over the next week I'll notify my parents and hope they will help. It seems small in comparison to other things that I'm dealing with at the moment, but it is slightly affecting my general anxiety and health anxiety.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. HappyHelper88
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    HappyHelper88 avatar
    108 posts
    23 August 2021 in reply to est72

    hey there EST72 thankyou for sharing
    i completely understand the anxiety that you feel from that and i think talking about your asthma with your parents and even your GP is a good idea. Have you ever spoken with someone about your anxiety? While Anxiety is normal, talking with others about it can be super helpful whether its with your parents, a friend or even a counsellor. When i have a lot on my plate i find talking about it very therapeutic.

    I hope this helps, Also remember you are never alone and there is always support here for you whenever you need

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Succulent Queen
    Succulent Queen avatar
    39 posts
    23 September 2021 in reply to HappyHelper88

    What to choose, what to choose

    Theres a strip of lattice hanging off my side fence thats been irking me for ages. I could nail it back up again but I wont. Ill just keep staring at it in frustration everytime I pull into the driveway instead.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    899 posts
    25 September 2021

    Hello,

    I have some questions.

    If it is so insignificant, why does it bother and bug us so much? I mean, we have many more important things to think about, so why are we focused on the small things?

    Or, since it bothers us so much, is it actually so insignificant? Perhaps the thing is more important than we are willing to say?

    If we can do something about the insignificant stuff, but don't, why?

    If we did something about the insignificant stuff, what would we do next?

  6. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
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    tranzcrybe avatar
    619 posts
    25 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    It is [DRIP] often the little things that [DRIP] trigger responses of [DRIP] frustration and irritation when fac[DRIP]ing insurmountable issues in other aspects of our lives. These mo[DRIP]ments invariably see our [DRIP] tolerance [DRIP] pushed to the brink - the 'bucket' being prec[DRIP]arious[DRIP]ly full!

    A dripping tap ca[DRIP]n be annoying, but noti[DRIP]ce how mu[DRIP]ch worse it ge[DRIP]ts [DRIP] while a[DRIP]tte[DRIP]mpt[DRIP]ing to do your t[DRIP]axes o[DRIP]r thre[DRIP]ad a needle (or ev[DRIP]en tr[DRIP]aw[DRIP]ling through [DRIP][DRIP]a const[DRIP]a[DRIP]ntly in[DRIP][DRIP]terrup[DRIP]ted post b[DRIP][DRIP]y some pe[DRIP][DRIP]sky so and so!)....... [DRIP] :-)
    2 people found this helpful
  7. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    899 posts
    25 September 2021 in reply to tranzcrybe

    Hello Tranzcrybe, Thanks for your post. Your demonstration is effective.

    I Just fixed the [last DRIP] by replacing the washer. (Actually, I am expected to call 'housing' and have them come to do any maintenance).

    But in the immediate moment , how much of those other 'important' tasks did you manage to avoid while being distracted by the noise? that's what I think and why I think these apparently insignificant things are actually of some importance to us. They give us an excuse for not attending to the more important things, be these tasks, or our deeper concerns. Convenient distractions we take full advantage of, and then are, in a sense, are relieved to not have to attend to the more difficult things.

    We pay a price for the distraction, with 'proving' how annoying the 'insignificant' thing is by being thoroughly irritated and frustrated. And the things we are avoiding will also tend to get worse the longer we avoid dealing with them. The hard things are always daunting. Takes a lot of courage to go into the hard places in ourselves. No one wants to do that. But like avoiding going to the dentist, you end up losing teeth.

    Or a better example, when I get letters, and I realise I need to keep them, but I allow myself to be distracted because the content is difficult to deal with, I say, "I'm tired right now, can't deal with that right now, go away!" Ta da! I am distracted & I need a rest right now, and toss the thing any old where. Then, when I really must deal with it, instead of finding it where I ought to have filed it, (only takes a couple moments to do), I can't find it. I can't remember where I tossed it. Other pieces of paper are also not filed, so I have to get my app on my phone to tell me again, what these pagpers were about in the process of searching for the one I need now. I made so much more work for myself, and now getting it done is more urgent as well.

    Procrastination is an effective, but potentially costly way of avoiding things.

  8. Calbue
    Calbue avatar
    16 posts
    25 September 2021

    Something that has genuinely been bothering me... hmm. Probably my embarrassment at how long it is taking me to finish my uni education. I know everyone goes at their own pace and has their own journey, but I still feel so embarrassed when thinking about it. I've had to work throughout my entire degree, and studied part time during the times where money has really been a struggle.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
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    tranzcrybe avatar
    619 posts
    25 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    Ah, just a bit of fun, mmMekitty.
    Very good point regarding diversion from pressing tasks... or might they be things that are, or feel, insurmountable?
    Being irritated by something that cannot readily be fixed (giving rise to frustration or feelings of hopelessness) could redirect such thoughts to lesser complexity over which we can impose our authority through having the choice (shades of Nero?) not to address, but express grievance - the remedy being of no consequence.
    The mindset of "I could fix this if I wanted to" might help us find solace in disgruntlement, where the alternative is spiraling thoughts to grind our gears. You can't control having a bad day, but you can always contextualise it in microcosm. Who was it that said "The enormity of life's problems is to be found in a grain of sand"?
    Very small... but incredibly irritating when inside your shoe!
  10. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    899 posts
    25 September 2021 in reply to tranzcrybe

    Oh no! I just bumped my mouse while my cursor was in the Favourites Baar and I opened anoter site, and lost what I have been writing in reply to you Tranzcrypt.

    That little mistake is bothersome, 'cause I'm trying to to recall what I was saying.

    I did say, now I have another minor distraction - googling the person who said that about a grain of sand.

    I said, I think I must have been the model for the original 'Princess and the Pea' character, you know, in a former life. I am so sensitive to everything, from tiny bits of grit, and wrinkles and air flow, and how evenly the blanket lays on my body, and all the minor discomforts, itches and pains that come and go, which individually are small, but taken together, are very annoying, causing me to sometimes take two hours to get to sleep, even with distractions like my audio book being read to me.

    & I want to say something to Calbue, even if it doesn't help your feelings of embarrassment. I feel proud you are working so hard to complete your Uni course, working as you must as well. This is a huge undertaking for you, and made all the more difficult these last, 18 - 19 months now. It is no shame to take your time, really delve deep into your interests, get to know your subjects very well indeed.

    Meanwhile, do allow yourself some time off, some relaxation, quite away from your study, to sort of 'recharge' your batteries. I think a balance of work, study and play are healthy. If your feelings of embarrassment are causing you to be unable to study, are a problem which you may need help with, don't hesitate to seek out some help.

    I haven't figured how to make links here, but I am sure you can locate BB's number & other contact links, at the top of the page you are reading this from.

    😺All the best, mmMekitty

  11. Calbue
    Calbue avatar
    16 posts
    26 September 2021 in reply to mmMekitty
    Hi mmMekitty,


    Thank you for your words. I think I had a realisation when reading your words as well… I think I my embarrassment IS making me unable to study sometimes. I never realised that was the issue until you said it might have been. I guess that’s something I have to reflect deeply on. I’m the first in my family to stick with uni, so I should be proud. But seeing how so many other people are going to uni as well makes me feel like me staying and trying to finish my course is not something to be proud of. These days, all I hear from people are that university degrees don’t matter because so many people have one….


  12. topsy_
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    topsy_ avatar
    1091 posts
    26 September 2021 in reply to Calbue

    Hi Calbue

    I think it’s wonderful what you have achieved already - working, supporting yourself & studying. With so little to go now I would be planning some sort of really special reward. Maybe a little trip somewhere to relax? You’ve earned it - literally.

    And after all this COVID stuff when you finish you will be able to travel. And probably even a normal graduation ceremony. You’re about to finish at the perfect time! Well done!

    Regards, T. 🎉🥂👏🍾

  13. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    899 posts
    27 September 2021 in reply to Calbue

    I was wondering, do you have any 'study buddies', a small group of other students you can sometimes study with, share ideas and discussions about your studies? I am thinking that a little peer support would be helpful.

    When I was young, I was not encouraged to go beyond year 10, such were the attitudes of my parents . As I was given to understand, my going on to finish senior high school, let alone into terriary studies was futile and pointless.

    My friend too, had not been encouraged either, though she really was smart and academically minded.

    Most kids when I was growing up, did not get past grade 10, and it seemed, only the top few percent were encouraged to continue study, to plan for a career to follow.

    That's why I applaud you.

    Also, consider, over the last few decades expectations have changed. People are required to have more and more qualifications, even for entry level jobs.

    More importantly, I think all the education you can get will be valuable across your entire life.

    & as life goes on, you'll likely have noticed already, we never stop learning.

    I'm wishing you all the best, but not to neglect some time out. I can't tell you how to fit that in, but please try.

    mmMekitty

  14. Calbue
    Calbue avatar
    16 posts
    27 September 2021
    Hi topsy and mmMekitty,

    Thank you for your words. Sometimes it does not feel like an accomplishment. There have been multiple times throughout the years where I’ve had to defer because of financial reasons or mental health reasons. Sometimes I hate that I let myself be so affected by the things around me, to the point where I have to put so many things on hold just to cope with life responsibilities.

    I’m almost done though. After 6 long years I’ll be done. It’s been a long time, and I’m really feeling the strain now to decide what to do with my degree. At the current moment, I have no idea. When I first started my degree, I had drive and was certain about what I wanted to do. Now, after living through the pandemic for 2+ years… I really think the pandemic has changed the way I think. I’m not too sure now, and I think that’s also a factor that’s causing me a lot of anxiety, stress and honestly…. it has made me question if I really should finish my education. I’m not sure if I can finish in time now that the COVID disaster payments will stop. It was hard to balance work and study pre-COVID but now it’ll be harder to find a steady income when so many people are in search for an income as well.

    I have actually started to plan a little reward for finishing, but my finances are making it a bit difficult to plan something that will bring me the most joy or any joy at all. It’s been a difficult two years, and trying to plan something when you don’t have the finances for it is a little disheartening. I’ve been trying to counteract this feeling/mentality by finding joy in the little things in life but it’s difficult when I’ve had such unrealistic expectations of what a good life should entail for years. I’ve been trying to unlearn all these idealisations to be more at peace.

    I also just want to say I really appreciate your replies. It makes me feel heard.
    1 person found this helpful

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