Hello Ktac and Sleepy, your thoughts are very much appreciated and please realise that we are definitely so sorry these thoughts may keep reoccurring.
Life for all of us is certainly very difficult, especially for those suffering from any mental illness because our thoughts vary from day to day to different levels of severity and from one day only having one reason to the next where several problems constitute our thoughts, but we can't determine what's going to happen tomorrow compared with today.
It's a tricky decision whether or not you tell your employer, one day you may think it's OK but then regret it another day because their attitude has changed regarding work situations and may not be as responsive.
By telling other people is not drawing attention, it's a cry out for help that we desperately are looking for, sometimes, unfortunately, the reaction is not positive, only because some people don't know how to deal with depression, either they've been through it themselves and don't want to travel back through it, or people are frightened as what to say, so they vanish, this is something we never know until we approach the situation.
Remember any friend who does leave may return at some point, simply because they too, have been struck by a mental illness and need advice.
Thankfully, there is a difference between thoughts and actions, things come and go and don't have to be acted on, and it may be something simple that has happened at the weekend that fortunately has changed your mind, that's a belief to keep us going and these need to be written down on some paper so you can show your psychologist at your appointment.
Hope to hear back from you.