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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / I feel I have failed

Topic: I feel I have failed

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Nat TK
    Nat TK avatar
    1 posts
    6 September 2021

    Hi All - I have almost reached 10 months of beating an alcohol addiction. 6 months ago, I stopped taking my antidepressant SSRI (with doctor knowledge & approval). I felt so proud of myself being completely drug & alcohol-free. But after 3 months of no medication, my anxiety started creeping back to the point where it is now affecting every part of my life. I’m back to suicidal ideation. So I took my first tablet again last night & all I want to do today is cry. I feel that I tried to be a “normal” person but failed. I feel so miserable. I know it is my depression talking, but I feel powerless to fight it atm. I have a really good life & am so blessed. So guilt over being sad all the time is making it even worse. So here I am

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6824 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Nat TK
    Hey Nat TK,

    A warm welcome to the Beyond Blue forums,

    We're so sorry to hear your feelings of anxiety and depression have returned. We understand how difficult it can be to manage these thoughts and feelings so it's really important that you have chosen to reach out this morning. We hope that being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little less alone.

    It sounds like you're in a really exhausting situation. If you don't have many friends where you are at the moment, we'd suggest joining some local support groups or parent groups. You can find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here -

    If you feel up to it, we'd also encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

    We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

  3. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    10018 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Nat TK

    Hello Dear Nat..

    A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

    You have done so well with 10 months alcohol free...I have never really been a drinker but my father was and I think I can understand how hard that would have been...

    Starting meds again after a few months of like starting again for the first time....The meds do take about 6-8 weeks to do the job the are supposed to do, with side effects being hard to manage at times,,,

    Maybe if you can...reach out to your Dr and let them know that of how your feeling and the suicidal thoughts..You’re Dr. will be able to help you through this transition of starting meds again.,,,I think it’s a good idea to let your Dr. know how your trying to manage with taking your meds again..

    Your so right, that it’s depression making you feel like you have failed...In my eyes lovely are a winner, giving up alcohol and having that want of beating depression is huge...

    Nat..depression doesn’t discriminate who it takes... We don’t pick depression to visit picks who ever it wants to visit..even if you have the happiest life ever..if depression wants you it will visit you...So Please dear lovely Nat...try hard not to feel guilty because you have nothing to be guilty about..,,

    We are here for you, and will try to support you the best we can, with our lived experience, our insight and our care..

    Kind thoughts dear Nat..


  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2128 posts
    6 September 2021 in reply to Nat TK

    Hi Nat TK,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Well done for being alcohol free that’s great…

    Im sorry your anxiety has crept in after stopping your antidepressant……. well done for acknowledging that your symptoms were returning so you went back on them……… if your antidepressant is helping you then my advice is stay on them……. It’s great that they work for you! I believe anxiety needs to treated like anything in the body so if medication works that’s great!

    Im sorry your depression is causing you sadness it will lift….. you have been here before and you will get through it again…

    Have you learned any strategies for your anxiety?

    Just because you take antidepressants doesn’t make you abnormal…… a lot of people in this world are on antidepressants….. thank goodness for antidepressants! I’m grateful we have them the people back in the old days weren’t so lucky…

    You will just have to wait for them to work again so hang in there they will….

    If you feel distressed please have a chat to your gp..

    We are here as a community to support you…..

    Here to chat

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