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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Is life just an on/off switch

Topic: Is life just an on/off switch

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Will it ever happen
    Will it ever happen avatar
    1 posts
    12 October 2021

    Hey guys.

    Not sure where to start really. I've got an amazing little 18 month old boy and a good wife. So these thoughs are weird.

    Lately we've been arguing a fair bit about stupid stuff mainly. Me being In a bad mood and not happy at the moment. Which I should be. Got a good job doing 2n2 easy roster nice house should be happy right.

    In the past I've had a few mate take there own life and it has me thinking what if there's a switch in my head same as my friends that flicks when the pressure is too much and I do something stupid. All my past friends had good life's pretty much like me but something changed and they took there own life..

    We argue and sometimes I just think fu$% it. I don't need this and revert back to thinking is there a switch that when I cant take any more it will flick and no stopping me doing something.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6594 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to Will it ever happen
    Hi Will it ever happen,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

    We are sorry to hear that you have been going through such a tough time recently and that you are not happy at the moment. We understand how hard it must be to sit with such strong emotions, especially after having mates take their lives. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

    If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

    We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.
  3. Isabella_
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Isabella_ avatar
    163 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to Will it ever happen

    Hi there,

    I'm really sorry to hear that you've experienced the loss of friends to suicide. Things seem to be quite tough for you at the moment. The grief of losing people can creep up on us after long periods of time, even if we are doing seemingly well, or perhaps even more so if our own mental health isn't doing well.

    I wanted to point out that reaching out is the first step to preventing yourself from heading down this path and it's amazing that you have. It's a safe space here to share and be as honest as you like, free of judgement. Much of the time, people who go through with suicide on the surface have good lives, but unfortunately it can go hidden easily when people are struggling with their mental health.

    You mentioned that you've been arguing with your wife lately about your mood.. What do these arguments look like?

    It's easy to put the expectation of being happy on ourselves when our family and work life it doing well, however mental and physical health are seperate aspects of your life that need their own form of care so you can begin to start appreciating and enjoy things again. If you worry that you are developing suicidal tendencies after arguments and your mood is generally low, it's important that you have a support system and resources around you.

    Please take note of the resources Sophie has mentioned and use them if you feel you need them.

    I know the idea of therapy isn't an easy one for everyone.. But what are your views on contacting your GP about getting a mental health care plan?

  4. Summer Rose
    Valued Contributor
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    Summer Rose avatar
    1725 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to Will it ever happen

    Hi Will it ever happen

    Welcome to the bb forum.

    About 40 years ago, a family member and someone I loved deeply, took his own life. I don’t know why.

    What I do know, is that my uncle was experiencing an undiagnosed mental health condition. I know in my heart that he was in deep pain. I know that he never sought professional help.

    I have often wondered about the “switch” you refer to but have no answer. Imagine, four decades later and I’m still searching for the answer.

    I am so sorry that you are struggling too and I encourage you to book a double appointment with your GP to discuss your health, mood and dark thoughts. Your GP will prepare a mental health care plan for you and refer you further treatment if required.

    If that switch exists, I don’t want you to find it. I want you to be the father and husband you are meant to be.

    My hope for you is that you seek help, heal, thrive and live your best life. Please post any time, I’m always happy to talk with you.

    Kind thoughts to you

  5. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16190 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Will it ever happen

    Hello Will it ever happen, thanks for your thread and it's a concerning one, especially when you have lost friends who may have had thoughts they didn't feel comfortable talking to others about and perhaps if they allowed this, then they may still be with you.

    We all differ, some people can sort out their problems by themselves or need advice on how to to do it, one way or another they could avoid doing something, other times the situation they're in doesn't make it any easier for them to resolve.

    There can be other ways to cope with these thoughts cause they come and go and any action can be diverted by actually talking with someone, a person who wants to listen on why you feel this way.

    The longer you conceal your thoughts the bigger the problem they become, because people want to get you to turn that switch off by listening to why you feel this way, and they may have been in exactly the same position as you, know how you feel, want to help you and divert these thoughts away from doing something you don't want to do.

    I know myself from having a young baby can certainly affect how the family unit, not only in how it feels but also the disruption it can cause from our previous few months and there is help out there for all of you and if this has been organised then how you are feeling might change, but would really like to hear what you think.

    Geoff.

  6. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1970 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Will it ever happen

    Hi Will it ever happen,

    Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it would be difficult.

    I use to have dark intrusive thoughts, I had these thoughts when I was going through severe anxiety they really scared me……. I seeked professional help when I started to experience these thoughts, I learned that these thoughts usually accompany anxiety and depression……

    After receiving the help I needed these thoughts have now lifted for me.

    If you are experiencing these type of thoughts please see your gp and discuss your thoughts and feelings your gp will understand and will want to help you.

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