I wish there was something mind altering I could say to make all the difference to you right now, that kind of difference you really so very desperately need. In my opinion, the absolute depths of depression is one of the worst most torturous places to be in life. While my truly darkest moment was some years ago, it still remains clear in my mind. I feel for you so very much.
Mind altering life changing psyches/therapists are rare but they are out there. During my years in depression, I must admit I never came across one and the long depressing search for the right anti depressant I would have to compare to the search for the Holy Grail, leaving one to think 'Does this thing actually exist?!' I wish professionals managed that search more strategically than what they typically do. It's definitely a depressing search when one after the other just doesn't seem to work. I know this is sounding far from being a pep talk but I just want to relate to how hopeless things can feel at certain times. I'm glad you came here, whether it be purely to vent or something just said 'Go on Beyond Blue' and you just went with it or you're actually looking to make some difference at this point. Although depression felt like a living hell for me at times, what did make some difference was feeling 'normal' while I was in it. For me, group therapy was what led me to feel 'normal' during my 15 or so year battle with depression. Finally finding people who could relate to the challenges of depression was what began to make some difference. Up 'til then, it had always felt incredibly lonely. Perhaps coming here will begin to make some difference for you, especially after such a challenging separation from your partner. Certain challenges can feel so incredibly cruel, especially when we're already down.
I hope you return here. I hope you re-turn to the people who want to make a difference in your life. I find that sometimes the greatest revelations come from those who can relate to how we feel. Others can only imagine the pain and desperation, when they have never felt it.
Looking forward to hearing from you :)