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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / One decision screwed my life

Topic: One decision screwed my life

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. screwed_my_life
    screwed_my_life avatar
    1 posts
    6 September 2021

    I was living a good Australian life after migrating, good job, got residency everything was perfect. My Marriage got fixed, however just before marriage fell in love with another girl, I know I was wrong. Due to society pressure did not broke the marriage and got married. However was not happy, sponsored the girl to Australia, I was unable to live with her. Told her the truth, she said she understands, then went to court and put domestic violence case against me as that will assure her residency. Blind in love, I said I do not care. Started living with my gf. She was nice. I had fun with her, suddenly after my divorce ,she changed and started behaving bossy. Its 2 years now and I am regretting my decision. Want to go back to my wife, but unsure how will she take it and to be honest I am more ashamed.

    I wish I die, thought of killing myself, tried once unsuccessfully, dont have courage to do it again . I feel i am the most baddest person and karma is hitting me hard. Dont know what to do, no one to blame but me. Everyday i cry, just stay in bed, my work is affected, I pray to god before sleeping that I should not wake up tomorrow. I dont know what to do, my head is always heavy, I feel like a loser.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6652 posts
    7 September 2021 in reply to screwed_my_life
    Hi Screwed_my_life,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for your honest and open post. We can hear that you are in a dark place at the moment and are having a lot of regrets about things in your life. We appreciate you reaching out for support and we hope you can find what you are looking for here.
     
    We will be reaching out to you private to see how we can support you further.
     
    We think that it would be worth giving us a call on 1300 22 4636 to talk through these thoughts and feelings. It can be scary, but out wonderful team can talk to you about strategies for when you are feeling low as well as talk about how you get other support in the community. You can also call our friends at Lifeline 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.
     
    Thank you again for your post today, please feel free to update us on how you are feeling as things progress on your journey.

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