It can definitely be hard to speak our truth when, in the past, our truth has been unheard, misjudged or rejected/dismissed. It's a powerful thing to speak our truth with unwavering confidence. Coming to express our self with confidence can take a lot of practice and a heck of a lot of strategic management in some cases. I've found how I manage speaking my own truth can take a lot of strategy at times, especially where emotions are concerned. How I manage or express my feelings at the time is incredibly important. Finding someone who will let you express yourself freely and help you manage and make sense of things as you unload is also incredibly important.
The feeling or feel of shame can definitely become overwhelming, overwhelming both the mind and body. It is an incredibly powerful emotion and one I'm definitely not fond of. It can feel sickening and debilitating. It can feel imprisoning, keeping us from being free to feel anything else. From my own experience, shame requires a lot of questioning, in order to release myself from its grip. What or who has led me to feel it? Under what conditions am I feeling it? And the biggy: What mental program is it associated with or tied to? If we're socially conditioned to believe self harm is shameful, for example, then that's the faulty mental program that needs addressing.
In speaking my truth, addressing my feeling of shame, this can lead me to conversation with another in regard to finding the absolute truth. There can be a difference between my truth and the absolute truth. The absolute truth might be 'Someone has led me to feel shame'. If it has been instilled/installed in me, how do I get it out? By the way, one of my mantras in life, 'Never play follow the leader with someone who is leading me in the wrong direction, away from finding the best in myself'.
How you feel is valid. It's your truth. If your goal is to find a new truth, one that raises you and inspires you, seek it only in those who aim to raise you.
Is there anyone in your life who leads you to feel hopeful? Whether it's someone close or someone on YouTube, a dose of hope can make a difference in our perspective, even if that difference is slight for the moment. Little differences are like stepping stones toward something greater than what we leave behind.
Remember, you're a powerful person in the process of self understanding. Sapphire is the stone of greater wisdom, insight and self expression (all your goals).