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Topic: Starting over

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Midget64
    Midget64 avatar
    5 posts
    23 November 2021

    Hi all,this is my first time posting. I've been looking through some of the threads and have found some comfort in knowing I'm not the lone ranger. I'm 57 but feeling 87 right now, a few weeks ago I tried and obviously failed to end my life. I've spent 2 weeks in a psychiatric unit and been home a week. It's all been a long time coming as I've had depression for many years. I couldn't find a way to stay before but now I realise it is down to me to keep going and maybe one day I'll find that reason. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder along with chronic depression and a few other problems, does that make me crazy? I'm really not sure but guess I will figure it out eventually.

    Right now I'm still trying to figure out why one of my two sons is being so nice and trying his best to support me and the younger son refuses to talk to me. This is giving me more heartache than anything else. My brothers were OK with me after they all got through yelling at me but I have to say I have resented the lectures.Friends are either angry at me or supporting me from a distance which also doesn't really help.

    Not really sure what I wanted to say here except to say I'm still here and trying to get through this time one day at a time and some days, it's one hour at a time. Sending everyone here love and hugs and wishing everyone a bit of laughter in their life 💕

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9365 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to Midget64

    Hello Dear Midget64,

    We would love to you a very warm and caring welcome to our forums..

    I am so sorry for what has happened to you...

    I think that people..whether family or friends who have never experienced depression, anxiety or any mental health illnesses don’t know how to reply or act around us..I remember my youngest son understood depression and knew the right things to say to help me...but my eldest son, seemed to clam up, not knowing what to say to me...He was in denial of his own mental health illness...now he is okay and we can openly talk about our issues...Maybe your youngest son is confused and not sure how to talk to you..

    One day at a time is all we can do...I take pleasure sitting on my veranda...not much I know, but huge for me because I couldn’t do that a couple of years ago...I am nearly 10 years older then you..and still working on my mh....but it’s well worth it...

    Um.,,just wondering if you have a pet...I have 2 little dogs, that needs lots of living and care..they help me each day to keep going... give me a reason...make me feel needed and gives me lots of love back....

    Midget...We are all here for you and hope so much that we can support you through this rough patch your going through....

    Kind thoughts lovely Midget..with love and hugs..💚🤗.

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Midget64
    Midget64 avatar
    5 posts
    23 November 2021 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy, thank you so much for your reply. It's all very fresh at the moment and I'm happy I reached out. I don't have any pets as i living in a caravan park, but am thinking about a cat(maybe an old cranky one like me...haha) I have been reluctant to get a pet as there is questions about my memory that are still in the process of being assessed and I wouldn't want to leave an animal for someone else to look after.

    My sons attitude is leaving a deep scar that I know is my own fault, he has made it clear I can't see my granddaughter either. I can understand to a point but it doesn't hurt any less. I am hoping living gets easier as the days go on. Thanks again for your thoughts

    Midget64

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