I hear what you're saying and my heart goes out to you. You can be looking for what makes the difference and what you find is sameness. You can be looking to be raised, have your consciousness and spirits raised, and be left just as lost while feeling brought down at the same time. I wish some of the call lines were given more resources, more people, more time to make a difference. This is a torturous time for so many out there, where those who wish to make a difference are being stretched beyond their limits and led to cut things short.
I'm glad you came here to express yourself. Do you feel distance between yourself and your therapist? If so, can you pick why it exists? I can remember some years ago seeing a psychologist (for depression), feeling an enormous distance between the 2 of us. He had a shirt and tie on, kind of business like as opposed to relaxed and his desk put added distance between the 2 of us. I believe what distanced the 2 of us the most was a lack of connection to begin with. If he had said to me something like 'I'm going to manage helping you to get to know yourself so that you leave here with greater self understanding and skills for life' I would have felt more connected, more excited, more optimistic. If he had said 'We're going to play detective and get to the bottom of who and what's bringing you down' I would have perhaps thought 'Finally, I will have my answers'. There was none of that 'Okay, this is the plan...' kind of talk. After several sessions, I left more confused than ever, feeling more of a 'failure' than ever. I was left with an empty feeling, regarding both wallet and spirit. Truth is, he failed to lead me to greater consciousness.
I believe, few work harder than those seeking greater consciousness. Why am I depressed? Why am I so anxious? Why do I feel so much, why am I so sensitive? Why can't I get out of the place I'm in (mentally)? Why can't I make sense of things? Those seeking greater consciousness work so hard to find their way to answers, even to the point of employing someone to help them find the answers. Those who don't seek change don't work so hard to find it. You definitely sound like a hard worker.
If it helps at all, I've found redefining 'disappointment' to be a game changer. If I appoint someone the role of 'He/she who will raise me (my consciousness and/or spirits)' and they fail to fill this role, I disappoint them from that role and move on to find someone who can fill the role.