is my first time here.
I am lost as to what I could be doing to support my husband through a tough
time in his life.
bit of background.
have been together for about 4 years, married end of last year. We live in a regional smallish town. He
was in the Defences and discharged last year as well. He has had trouble finding a
job that he enjoys or pays well in our area. Currently he is in a job and environment
that I see as toxic. He often comes home cranky, sore and frustrated at
the way the business is run. I listen to him vent; however it has become
very regular and bitterer. I have seen his spirit reduce more and more over the last 6-8 months. I work in a well paying job but not exactly
enjoying my job either - but I re-frame from venting too much to avoid making us
all miserable. If he isn't venting, he is quite and withdrawn even
through the weekends now. He has applied for other jobs, but has
received "unsuccessful" letters. I have been helping him to do
resumes/applications. I also trying to make home relaxed and make sure he does
stuff he finds fun. However my habit is to over
analyse everything or to put him before myself a lot, try to support by giving
advice - this causes issues. I get burnt out and then when I raise my
feelings of frustration, hurt etc. It seems to make matters worse.
am in a well paying job and have asked if this is an issue for him, he has
responded that it isn't and its lucky that I do or we would be in strife. I make sure that we both
contribute to the household (so it doesn't knock his self worth) - his as to be
less of course due to his pay rate. He is always focusing on money
when looking for a job instead of job satisfaction or his interests. He
has said he just feels lost and doesn't know what to do. He is the most
capable person I know.
top of this, my husband has daughters and has trouble getting his ex to let
him have them for more than a weekend here and there. She has seemed to
of gotten worse since we have married. It is breaking my heart to see him
like this, and I just don't know what to do to help without letting my own
"emotions/habits" get in the road.
can I handle this?