Thank you so much for posting on here, it sounds like a challenging situation. Hopefully the community will have some relevant experience to share with you.
Firstly, have you thought about discussing the issue with 1800 RESPECT? They may be able to give you some advice. Emotional/psychological abuse is not acceptable, no matter how much your husband is struggling. You might also consider the Family Drug Support (FDS) hotline (1300 368 186) which provides support and advice to carers and partners of people with drug and alchohol issues.
Your husband is obviously grieving, but he needs a healthier way to go through that process rather than alchohol. You could suggest Men's Line (1300 78 99 78), or the Beyond Blue hotline (1300 22 4636) as helpful starting places. You might also suggest the Men's Shed group - they're active in most parts of the country now. If he's open to it, you could also suggest he call the National Alcohol and Other Drugs Hotline (1800 250 015) which provides confidential advice to people suffering from alchohol or drug dependence. He could also try Alchoholics Anonymous Australia (1300 222 222).
My ex-partner was a very active member/organiser of the youth part of AA in my state. She was long recovered, but maintained strong connections with AA as a preventative strategy. They seemed to do a lot of really positive stuff, with social events and many things to engage with. She got a lot out of AA.
It's very challenging when a partner has a serious issue like alchoholism, even more so during COVID where it's harder to leave to home. I hope you find a way to navigate through it. Take care of yourself,