I have tried blocking my number on a SMS but it didn't work.

i guess if she blocks me I have my answer on if she wants to work things out

Ah my friend, come into my office, please sit down and have a whiskey with me.

carefully sign up for skype, by providing skype with minimal or diversionary details during registration, add some money to your skype account using a creditcard/gift card you paid cash for, and send the sms.

Ahh very nice,

ive done it with pay phone so it's a different number. I think I should wait for the letter, but the worry is will she move on before that

Preparation, assets, opportunity, objective.

Hypothetically, A letter in todays covid climate will take anywhere from 1 day to 7 days to be delivered by aussie post, approximately. U could likely firm that estimation up by contacting the mail carrier for their estimation.

So maybe, if you had the safe skype account ready for a particular day to open a safe line of communication just before, or just after the letter might arrive... Well that's a way to continue with negotiations from safety.

Interesting question from the military strategy point of view.

What might you gain if the phone call goes perfectly? What does perfect look like?

What might you loose if the phone call goes badly, like the worst it could go? What's that look like?

Risk assessment.

Goes badly... She may not answer, she may be with somebody else she will be angry I have the number and change it. But I guess I know where I stand.

as for positive I'm unsure what that will be.

I'll make up a few possibilities to help.

She may do any or all of what you've already posted.

She may say, I'm with someone else get stuffed.

She may say, I'm with someone else - I'll leave them for you.

She may say, I'm still single, get stuffed.

She may say, Get stuffed.

She may say, I'm remorseful lets get back together, but keep everything MY way.

She may say, I'm really missing you, how can I get you back?

She may say, I've won the lottery, I'm coming over with my new car and boyfriend... to ....?

There's a few exhaustive options to consider.

And the thing is with DV situations and military strategy, one always has to consider if the other person is going to be honest in what they say with what they intend to do.

So...

She may say, oh wow, I'm really sweet with you coming round, how about tonight it's a quiet night at home. Do you want to come over... And actually be setting a physical trap.

So ya gotta consider think/feel and weigh that all up too.

All the times I have left it has all been about I'm not leaving with nothing from her. She has taken allot of money from my account when I have left.

i was just going to text for now from pay phone so she knows how much I still miss and love her, I guess until she gets the letter

Ok. So assessments again.

text from pay phone, something like, Hello this is Unsure77/realname, I miss you and love you. I have sent you a letter by mail.

What does that achieve? Relative to her just receiving the letter?

She might respond with fear from an unknown sms.

She might respond with a feeling of anticpating the letter.

She might respond by ramping herself up with anxiety, who is this, who is pretending they are ___, I better prepare for another fight with ____, how does the smser know my number?

She might...?

Unsure77 said:

All the times I have left it has all been about I'm not leaving with nothing from her. She has taken allot of money from my account when I have left.

That's useful too... Does She still have access to that account?

Maybe you could withdraw your money from that account and Close it.

OR.

You could withdraw all your money from that account, except say $50, or whatever u can afford. And use that account like an olive branch in a sms.

Hi SHE, I have left $50 in our mutual account for you to have if you need, I miss you, I love you, I've sent you a letter. Unsure77.

Maybe add conditionals. I miss you but I am scared of you, I love you enough to try to come back but need to feel safe all the time.

Unsure77 said:I would let her know it's me, then tell her I miss her and love her, but yes it probably will get her anxiety going. And to do it before the letter gets there is me being impatient and hoping she hasn't met anybody else. But because I was the one that walked out would that see me as being manipulative?

Honesty is never manipulation, because honesty is scrupulous...

manipulation = exercising unscrupulous control or influence over a person or situation.

Communication doesn't necessarily exercise control, especially if you are speaking in conditions about both of your choices.

Ok.

How many times are you prepared to feel rejection for extending an olive branch?

Also, every gift can do various things in the negotiation.

On receiving the $100 she might, rethink her position about you/ the situation.

She might, feel like she is being emotionally manipulated.

She might, be very grateful for the cash, but still want no contact.

She might, see how much you want her and decide she has all the power and wants you back to keep DV'ing you.

She might, give the money away to charity because she doesn't want anything from you at all.

She might, ...?

I will probably be told I am emotionally manipulating her even though it's honestly how I feel about her. I sent the message so what ever happens from here happens.

i said I sent 100 yesterday it was the last of what I had and I miss and love her much.

Technically if we offer people options along the way, including the option to make their own options, then we truly aren't manipulating them.

Ok, so plan on that response then.

You reached out an $100 olive branch and the response from SHE is something like : you are manipulating me, stop that.

So you stop that and have your surety.

or SHE says, you are manipulating me, why are you doing that?

So you tell her. I've told you already, I love you, I miss you I want us back together, but I need to be safe and I need to connect with my kids and keep them safe.

or SHE says, honey that's sweet lets get back together come around right now. (Whilst planning a trap)

She might say, wow, that's really honest, __________...

She might say, you're manipulating me but I need another $100!

She might say....

So whilst you are waiting for contact think/feel about the likely responses...

If She says I am manipulating her after giving her $100 and making conditions for us to get back together that include my safety and connecting with my children and HER taking medicine. then...

I might say, You can spend that $100 on whatever you want, that's fair options for you.

I might say, You can choose to not take your medicine, and the consequence of that is I won't come back to you.

I might say, You are saying I am manipulating me, how can I say that I need to be safe without manipulating you?

I might say, What is manipulation to you? I don't think I'm being manipulative because I am giving you plenty of options and speak to me about more options. What do you want to do about my alleged manipulation?

Sorry there is a few errors in that last post. but I think you get it.

I have the tour de france on now.

Can I feel ok about not replying any more tonight?

You ok with that?

Good morning/afternoon/night my friend who is Unsure77.

I am slowly feeling the waxing of my awakeness, so I reach out to say, my soul mate will awaken soon.

I must find a w_y to make coffee silently.

party hard.