Hi Violet12
I am sorry that you are in this situation. It is definitely exhausting being a support person. And I think the hardest thing for me was to allow myself to admit that, and feel all the emotions that go along with it. Because I used to think, I need to be the strong one, I can't let him see me upset about what's going on.
It's hard. And I am still trying to find the right balance. Very early on, I went to speak to my GP. She told me, if I need to cry and be upset, don't do it in front of him. She wasn't telling me not to cry or not to be weak, just not in front of him. But she also suggested I see a psychologist myself, as she knew it would be a heavy burden for me to carry on my own.
I wrote this in another post not long ago:
Find support. Medical, professional, personal. You'll need it. As much as he needs love and support, if you are going to get through this, and you are going to fight to support him, you need it just as much. As much as this is his struggle, it still affects you. And it is tiring. So find people to help you, so you can stay strong for the journey.
I do speak to my husband about things, but not this. I don't think I could tell him right now of the impact all this has on me.
Instead, I speak to a psychologist. It started as every two weeks, then every 4 weeks and now I speak to her every 6-8 weeks. It has come to a point where she has asked whether I still need to speak to her, but I have booked in to see her in 8 weeks again because I like to have that objective support. My husband speaks to his own psychologist. And together, we have relationship counselling. So we have a lot of professional support.
But besides that, I have a limited number of friends/family in my personal circle who know and support me. That is also invaluable.
I am not so great however, and spending time for myself. I do exercise, I try to eat a healthy diet, so that at least my physical health is OK. But between full time work, two children, and just normal everyday life, I find prioritising my own well being difficult. It's always been about putting my family first. And I know that is something I need to work on.
Writing on here and reading posts from others has also provided me with a lot of support.
I hope you can find some strategies to help you too. Remember everyone and every situation is different. But we just need to keep trying new things and see what works. And don't ever give up on hope.